Bobservations

One day at the grocery store Carlos asked if I had a shopping list. I told him that since we only needed a few things, I made a note on my phone of what was needed. He didn’t know how that worked, so I showed him.

Cut to New Year’s Eve day. We’re at the grocery store again buying things for Carlos’ New Year’s Day dinner—Leg of Lamb, Mashed Veggie Potatoes, Brussels Sprouts and Chocolate Cake … que delicioso—and he had created a list on his phone. Before leaving home, however, I added a couple of things, one of which, as I typed it into his phone, was “bubby.” You know, for a midnight toast.

At the store we went about our business and got all the things we needed and then, just before checking out, Carlos says:

“Forgot something, I’ll be right back.”

I wait, and he returns with a Boboli pizza crust.

“What’s that for?”

“Uh, it was on the list! You wrote it … ‘bubbly.’”

“Yes, honey, ‘bubbly’ as in champagne, or Prosecco, not bubbly as in Boboli which is a pizza crust and not something you toast the New year with.”

“Oh … should I put it back?”

Happy New Year!

Tuxedo once again nails the inherent racism of our current Racist-In-Chief. He, like his Daddies, is so ready for January 20^th.

Just before Christmas, the West Hollywood City Council decided—three in favor, two against—to rename the local West Hollywood Library after late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Why anyone would vote against this is beyond me, but idiocy does abound. In addition, renaming of the library is not finalized by the vote; the Public Facilities Commission must weigh the proposal before the official decision is made, and since the library is part of the LA County library system, which means they would have to confer with them to make the change.

If finalized, the name would become the Ruth Bader Ginsburg West Hollywood Library.

Do the right thing.

According to reports from Prestwick airport near Donald _____’s Turnberry Resort in Scotland that they are to expect the arrival of a US military 757 aircraft, that is occasionally used by _____, on January 19 fueling speculation that the Impeached, One-Term, Lame-duck Loser will skip Joe Biden’s inauguration and instead flee to Scotland.

Good, I say, except … earlier this week, due to a second- or third wave of COVID, Scotland has closed its borders.

I’m kinda thinking Scotland made that up to keep the con man out of the country.

Failed ReTHUGlican congressional candidate George Santos took to social media over the weekend to whine and cry that both he and his fiancé and their four dogs were forced to flee their home, and that his fiancé, a pharmacist, lost his job, after the New York Times published an article stating that Santos had attended _____’s maskless New Year’s Eve gala at Mar-a-Lago.

Sorry, Superspreader, not sorry.

And speaking of Superspreaders, former TV star, and religious wingnut Kirk Cameron hosted a large gathering on a California beach on New Year’s Eve to pray “for our nation,” defying that state’s stay-at-home orders and marking the third time in several weeks he’s hosted or attended such an event amid a surge in coronavirus cases.

Cameron was joined by dozens of people at Point Mugu State Park in Ventura County for a “Sunset Singing and Prayer Event” and said:

“We are inviting you to join us in prayer for our nation. If you want to wear masks, we welcome masks. If you If you want to spread out with your family, there’s plenty of room here. Remember, you’re in charge of your healthcare. Use wisdom, common sense and good judgment with that.”

Put it in God’s hands then, and if any of you get sick, talk to God about healthcare and leave the doctors and nurses and hospitals for the people who do the right thing.

Now, I have been drunk in my life; really, really drunk. But I ain’t never been this drunk …

Thomas Dodd, a bar worker in the U.K. got so sh*t-faced over the holidays that he legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

Seriously. How drunk you gotta be for that? He now says:

“During lockdown I’ve been watching a lot of live concerts on the TV. I can only think I’ve been watching one of hers and had a great idea after a few drinks.”

He believes that, while he was drunk, he went online, filled out the form to change his name, and paid the 89 GBP ($120 U.S.) fee and then forgot about it when he woke up. Several days later, he got paperwork in the mail that said that he had legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

His one worry: that he doesn’t get pulled over by the police for anything.

That’s his one worry? Perhaps he needs to add binge-drinking to the list because Celine Dion ­also ordered a snow machine while drunk.

Carlos and I are huge Jeopardy fans, and were saddened upon learning last fall that Alex Trebek, who’d been battling pancreatic cancer, had passed away. We heard that he wanted his final shows to be aired and this week is the last five. Monday night, with just a few days left to live, he opened the show with this:

“You’ll recall that about a month ago, I asked all of you to take a moment to give thanks for all of the blessings that you enjoy in your lives. Now, today, a different kind of message. This is the season of giving. I know you want to be generous with your family, your friends, your loved ones. But today, I’d like you to go one step further. I’d like you to open up your hands and open up your hearts to those who are still suffering because of COVID-19. People who are suffering through no fault of their own. We’re trying to build a gentler, kinder society and if we all pitch in—just a little bit—we’re gonna get there.”

Hearing this from a man battling cancer, and who was in his final days, is both chilling and heartwarming.

Trebek’s final episode airs tomorrow night and will include “a special tribute to the life and work of the man who captained America’s Favorite Quiz Show with skill, style, and sophistication for 36+ years.”

RIP Alex.

This is Christian Reniery Santamaría. That name alone makes me tingle. Christian is a retired Honduran football/soccer turned model. But he’s not your ordinary twenty-something model. Christian is forty-eight and hotter than men half his age.

He got a body for sin … at least that’s what’s going through my mind.

And anyone who can rock those suits, and a pair of skivvies, can rock my world. That’s all.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Just when you think she’d gone away for good, Paris Hilton has crawled from the ooze to claim that she invented the selfie. You see, back in 2017, this dim bulb Tweeted a photo of herself hanging out with Britney Spears back in 2006, and wrote:

“11 years ago today, Me & Britney invented the selfie!”

Twitter, like most of the world, ignored Paris, so she came back three years later to again Tweet:

“14 years ago, @britneyspears and I invented the selfie #LegendsOnly.”

And more than 106,000 people liked the picture, while a few took Paris to task, posting things like this from someone named Tito Ambyo:

“The drunk Aussie dude did it before you though. In 2002.”

But then a Tweeter named Shelby dropped the mic when she posted:

“Sorry [Paris], these are the oldest selfie in the world.”

So, take a seat Paris; take several seats. You didn’t’ invent the selfie, but you most assuredly invented Clueless Media Whore.

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Uh-oh, her heart may go on, but there will be fewer coins in the bank account.

Yup, Celine Dion just lost a lawsuit between herself and her former talent agency ICM Partners. ICM was suing Celine, saying she owed them a boatload of cash in commissions, as stipulated in her contract with them, and a judge sided with ICM.

It all began in 2017, when Celine signed a multi-year touring and performing contract with AEG ALLEGEDLY valued at $500 million. ICM claimed Celine never paid them their cut of the deal and so, in 2019, ICM and Dion’s longtime representative, Rob Prinz, dropped her as a client, and then sued her for the money.

Celine argued that she had already paid Rob tons of money in the 30 years she was a client but that matters not when it comes to the $500M she pocketed while a client. So, Celine then claimed that Rob and ICM tried to take advantage of her after her husband, Rene Angelil, died in 2016, because Rene handled the business side of things, and she wasn’t used to doing that on her own:

“I have paid Mr. Prinz many millions of dollars over the years. And when this all started, my team made an extremely generous offer to pay him and ICM many more millions for years to come, even though our old agreements were over and we had not made a new one. I’m not saying that Mr. Prinz did not do anything, but he’s taking much more credit for my career than he deserves. Mr. Prinz had never asked to be paid for 10 years for a few months’ work, and I never agreed to it. When Rene was alive, he took care of my business and was always very fair with the people we worked with, and he taught me to be the same. Because he wasn’t here to stand up for me at the hearing, I feel like Mr. Prinz and ICM took advantage with their demands for money and revealing confidential information about my AEG deal. I feel betrayed.”

As Judge Judy might say, I don’t care how you feel, and this judge wasn’t buying the poor widow act from someone who had been in the business since she was a child bride. Cough up the coins, Celine. Don’t be a deadbeat. ICM wants their $13 million.

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Cue the dragons, Jane Seymour is pissed.

Apparently the producers of something called Glow and Darkness—a medieval miniseries—have replaced Seymour in part of the series with a :::gasp::: younger actress! You see, Jane’s character, Eleanor of Aquitaine, was supposed to age from 25 to 80, and producers just didn’t think sixty-nine-year-old  Jane could pull off mid-twenties. Normally, I’d say cast an actual twenty-something in the role, but here’s the rub:  one of Jane’s co-stars is 87-year-old Dame Joan Collins who plays a woman who dies at age 40. 

Collins can play 40 but Seymour can’t pay 25? To be fair, Jane will still play Eleanor, but another actress will play younger Eleanor, and that pisses off Jane, who says she didn’t learn about the switch until she arrived on-set:

“They told me that only I was going to play myself at 25, but before I even got round to doing it, the day before, without telling me, they found another actress to play me at 25. It’s something I really don’t understand at all because believe it or not, and you can see on Instagram, they don’t even need to do the facial stuff on me. It works just fine. Joan Collins is 87, and she’s supposed to be playing a woman who dies at 40.”

Ouch. Jane just threw Joan under the bus with the “facial stuff” comment. I wouldn’t want to be her on that film set. But, if Jane, who, yes, looks fabulous at 69, thinks she looks 25, then maybe cataract surgery is in order?

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It was just the other day that I posted about former actor and accused domestic abuser Ricky Schroeder throwing the last few coins he has into the bail out pool for the Kenosha Murderer, and now Ricky is whining that people are being mean to him for helping a boy, a child, who illegally purchased a gun, murder two people and injure a third, get out of jail.

Schroeder has been on the receiving end of some absolutely terrifying “negative social media posts” and, as MAGAts do when people call them out of their brazen ignorance, stupidity and hate, he called the police because people on social media were mean to him. Oh, honey, social media was invented so people can be mean to dicks like Rick.

Law enforcement sources say that police were called to Schroeder’s home after he went on Twitter and saw that someone had posted:

“Tbh thought he was dead. Would’ve been better”

“This was a racist move pure and simple”

And my personal favorite:

“Ricky Schroder can shove that silver spoon right up his own ass”

Police “determined none of the online comments rose to the level of a criminal threat” and left after taking a “suspicious circumstances report” adding that Schroder will be in contact with authorities if things escalate.

But then Ricky, who whined about meanies on social media, took to social media to, ahem, stand his ground by saying …

“To my Democrat Friends. This is the country want to live in? [sic] #fuckantifa”

… alongside screen shots of the mean things people, said about him and a photo of Ricky carrying a gun, roaming through his backyard of his manse in Malibu looking for that Antifa threat that is sure to come his way. And he wants y’all to know that he doesn’t give a flying f**k about COVID and is having all his family over for Superspreader Thanksgiving because he’s a patriot.

Or a MAGAt loon who bails out murderers and then calls the police because the internet trolled him.

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In the Thankful Spirit, let’s talk about a real patriot, from Canada, Alex Trebek. It seems the late Jeopardy! host was quite the conservationist who quietly donated 62 acres of his land in the Hollywood Hills to the city of Los Angeles nearly twenty years ago. It’s called the Trebek Open Space, and it runs into Runyon Canyon park providing trails for hikers, mountain bikers, and equestrians. When Trebek passed away a couple of weeks ago, the Laurel Canyon Land Trust posted about his donation:

“Today Alex Trebek passed away. Did you know that he was generous conservationist in addition to being a famous game show host? He donated 62 acres of land in the Santa Monica Mountains in Nichols Canyon to create the Trebek Open Space. This was not only a gift to urban Angelinos who thirst for open space and outdoor activity, but a gift to native animals such as our local Mountain Lions that require large amounts of open space in order to survive, and a gift to future generations who will have to reckon with climate change in the years to come. Thank you Alex Trebek and may you Rest in Peace.”

That’s how it’s done.

RIP Alex. And thank you.

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The Funny Papers

Bob Gorrell, Matt Wuerker, Rick McKee, David Horsey, Ed Hall, Jack Ohman, Bill Bramhall, Ted Littleford, Darrin Bell, JD Crowe, John Deering, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, Kevin Siers, Steve Breen, 

Bobservations

I forget sometimes that Carlos hasn’t lived in the US for his whole life and doesn’t recall some stories, some people, that have made news here. The other night we watched a movie called Driven, about the John DeLorean cocaine scandal, and John Hoffman, a small-time drug runner turned snitch for the FBI who helped take down DeLorean.

Halfway through the movie, Carlos says to me:

“Wasn’t there a car called DeLorean?”

And we were off about history and pop culture, and the fact that this was a true story, and, yes, Back to the Future, to which Carlos said:

“That was a DeLorean car?”

Sidenote: the role of DeLorean was played by out actor Lee Pace, who was hot as DeLorean, and hot in his own right.

Tuxedo has a note for ______: maybe if you hadn’t murdered 230,000+ Americans before Election Day, you might have liked the outcome better.

I missed this last week, but after Tuesday’s election, Nevada became the first state to protect same-sex marriage in its constitution, with voters approving a ballot measure by 61 to 38 percent.

Well, that’s wonderful news, too.

The _____ campaign’s is hoping to make some coins for his “Voter Fraud Ego Rallies” is not at all what it seems.

Truth be told, if you were foolish enough to vote for him, and foolish even to send him more money to fight the results, understand that at least half of any donation might actually go toward paying down debt for his campaign.

So, your coins won’t help his recount, they’ll help his bank account.

On a funnier note, you gotta love the way this Aussie newspaper handled _____’s reaction to the election.

On a sadder note … Alex Trebek passed away this week after a long battle with cancer. Jeopardy was, is, our favorite show and while the show will go on, no one will ever be Trebek.

If you didn’t really believe there was a dumb _____, ask yourselves why Eric The Dumb Tweeted that out a week after the election.

The mother of the Kenosha murderer is blaming protestors and police for her son killing two innocent people because if they hadn’t been there …

And if your son hadn’t armed himself and driven across state lines.

Shut up. Your son is a murderer.

Poor _____. It seems that about 80% of all Americans, including more than half of Republicans, recognize President-elect Joe Biden as the winner of the election.

Seriously, you’re fired. Most all of us believe and accept it.

Go.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg still has not publicly acknowledged that Biden won the election and continuously allows lies to be spread on Facebook.

Zuck off, Fuckerberg.

I’m not usually into gingers, but every so often a ginger comes along, and I go, Okur, I’m getting it now.

Prince Hot Ginger does it for me, and so does built … BUILT … ginger, Graysen Quinn. That face, that body, that ass.

That’s all.