It's Snarkurday!

There are all kinds of theories as to why Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris exploded, but maybe it just boils down to Kewpie Doll Ego?

See, Calvin had a fairly big hit song with “This Is What You Came For” — I only know this because I read it, not because I ever heard the song … ick — but ALLEGEDLY some of the lyrics — differing versions of “Oooooooooh Oooooooooh” — were written by Swifty.

Folks say Swifty ALLEGEDLY wrote the song, sent it to Calvin, and they recorded a demo, but then felt it was wrong to work together on some sucky tune — because Taylor has the rights to all sucky tunes — so Rihanna sang it and TayTay was reduced to background Ooooohs. Then when Calvin was out promoting the song he said he wouldn’t do music with Taylor … and … cue Taylor Swift’s Teenage Meltdown.

And cue her people “accidentally” releasing information that she co-wrote the tune. Then cue Calvin, trying to make nice—saying Swifty is :::cough cough::: an “amazing lyric writer” and that she sang on the song too—but when Swift moved on to Tom Hiddleston the niceties were off.  Harris began Mean-Tweeting and even dragged TayTay’s Best Frenemy into the fight by saying he would not let Swift “bury him” the way she tried to bury Katy Perry.

Perry then piped up on Twitter with a GIF of Hilary Clinton giving some side-eye and then reTweeted some shade she’s posted about Taylor’s “Bad Blood” video:

“Time will tell.”

Now, seriously, these folks are too damn old and too damn famous for these kinds of Twit Feuds, but then other folks, less rich, less famous, less Swifty Robotic, started a hashtag #TaylorSwiftIsoverParty and then trolled Taylor’s Instagram and filled the comments section with snake emojis.

Taylor isn’t talking, or singing, but I imagine she’ll marry Tom Hiddleston as a way to “get back” at everyone and then “write” a bunch of grown-assed-woman-teenage-angsty songs about it to punish us further.

Consider yourselves warned.

Tori Spelling has learned that no matter how many times you cry poverty, you still gotta pay your taxes.

See, California has hit Tori, and her co-adulterer husband, with a tax lien to the tune of $259,108.23 in unpaid taxes from 2014.

What will Tori do? Probably pitch a reality show to Lifetime called Tori and Dean in the Slammer.

Lamar Odom is ALLEGEDLY drinking again … a few months after he almost died from the drink and the drug and the hookers at a Nevada brothel. But sources — most likely That Woman, his not-yet-ex-mother-in-law — say Lamar isn’t worried and can handle his drinking; or can he?

Think again because this week Lamar was kicked off a flight for being a drunken mess.

Waiting for a flight from LAX to NYC Lamar decided to beers and whiskey in an airport bar, and by the time he boarded the plane, before he even sat down, Odom started vomiting in the galley and the bathroom.

Doused in puke, Lamar was escorted off the plane by flight attendants while a cleaning crew came in and un-puked it … and then it got messier ten minutes later, when Lamar was allowed back on the plane. He sat down, then got up and, this time, made it to the bathroom before the hurling commenced and then he was taken off the flight for good.

But this isn’t all on Lamar … howsabout the bartender who thought it was a good idea to serve Lamar Odom all that booze, or the flight attendants who brought his drunken ass back onto the plane?

Seriously, if that was me they’d have slammed my ass in airport jail, but rich drunks get preferential treatment as long as they only puke once.

Puke twice and all bets are off.

In a prime example of ‘snark,’ “Difficult People” creator Julie Klausner says Hollywood stars only pretend to be pals — and that Gwyneth Paltrow is the biggest, phoniest “backstabber” in town:

“They pretend that they are [all great friends], but the stuff that is said about people behind the scenes is really terrible. [And] well — Gwyneth Paltrow — there’s many a tale to tell … all kinds of backstabbing.”

Klausner would give no specific details — perhaps after learning that Paltrow sells hit men on GOOP — but did say that Paltrow is now “into [Eastern therapy] cupping — maybe she’s cupping instead of backstabbing.”

I’d be careful of the stabbing comments … Paltrow. GOOP. High-priced hit man. Still, Klausner has taken potshots at Paltrow before, like when she Tweeted:

“Click here to witness the chemistry between Gwyneth Paltrow and Jimmy Fallon AKA the comedy version of ammonia and bleach!”

I wonder which one was Paltrow?

Dr. Phil is suing mad and aiming his gut at the National Enquirer.

Yup, “Doctor” Phil and his wife Robin McGraw are suing American Media Inc., who owns the National Enquirer published almost 100 false stories about their marriage imploding over the last 13-year period.  Huh; I guess it’s best to handle the nasty tabloid stories for a decade so you can get a bigger payout?

Phil claims the National prints a fake story about him and Robin every two months … like he’s a cheater … like she’s divorcing him … like how she kicked him to the curb. You know, the stories they print about every pseudo-wannabe famous person like the McGraw’s … stories like how he’s a cheater, or how they’re headed for divorce, or how Robin kicked him to the curb.

Apparently Phil threatened American Media with a libel suit before, and they agreed to stop telling fibs but then the Enquirer was all, “No, we’re still talking.”

Still, I wonder why the McGraw’s didn’t file suit … oh, I don’t know … thirteen years ago. Maybe it really is just about getting a bigger payout? Maybe the Oprah money is running out? Maybe, ALLEGEDLY, they are divorcing and Phil needs to cash for alimony?

ALLEGEDLY.

It’s been a while since we heard about Lindsay Lohan Crack Drama—which I have suggested as the title of the “book” she said she’s “writing.” But then she turned 30 and crazy came out to play.

To celebrate the milestone — seriously, many people thought she wouldn’t live to see 25 — Lindsay’s fiancé Egor Tarabasov took Lohan and a group of people to Mykonos, Greece for a party. Lindsay tried to get various companies or brands to sponsor her birthday party but everyone was like, “Lindsay who?”

So maybe that’s why she brought the drama ... Lohan was ALLEGEDLY—I kid, using italics! — after reading a text on Egor’s phone and shocked the assembled guests — there were at least three hangers-on — and Egor’s mother Elena — by hurling the phone into the sea. Egor, in a way of getting back at Lohan to really hurt her, tossed his drink onto her head.

Wasting alcohol in front of — much less on top of — a Lohan? That’s almost a capital offense in that family.

Luckily, security pulled the lovebirds apart and Lindsay drove off — careful Mykonos, Lohan’s driving — and Egor continued to party.

Reality show famewhores Kim and Kyle Richards are being sued by a woman who claims that Kim’s dog Kingsley attacked her at Kyle’s house.

It all happened when the “stars” of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills invited stylist Paige Sanderson to Kyle’s house to dress Kim for a promotional appearance. Hopefully not at a hotel bar … if you know Kim. Or at a Target store … if you know Kim … or a wedding in Mexico … yada yada yada.

Kingsley, already known for his aggression — he ALLEGEDLY bit Kyle’s daughter in the last year — lunged at Sanderson, bit and held on to her lower abdomen and crotch, tearing off her leggings and underwear and ripping out portions of flesh.

That’s awful, but it gets uglier because Sanderson ALLEGES that Kim Richards refused to call 911 unless Sanderson promised to cover for Kingsley and blame the attack on a stray dog.

Well, Sanderson was like “Eff you” and is suing Kim and the dog, and Kyle because it happened at Kyle’s house. She wants cash for emotional distress, cosmetic surgery and medical bills and I want a front row seat at that mediation to watch Kim try to Word Soup an explanation and watch Kyle flip her hair and giggle.

It’ll all make for a Very Special Episode of RHoBH.

It's Snarkurday!

So Donnie Wahlberg may divorce Jenny McCarthy because she’s immature? Um … duh?

It seems Donnie wanted Jenny to be a “traditional” of wife and, at first, she seemed cool with the idea, saying she was tired of being “strong” and “independent”—uh huh, as is strong and independent while Jim Carrey was paying the hills—but now trouble’s a’brewing … and a source — highly doubtful that’s it’s Lohan … this time — says:

 “Their marriage is doomed.  It’s just a matter of time before they split. Donnie expects Jenny to behave like a wife, cooking and taking care of the family instead of relying on outside help. But she resists his alpha male act.”

The source goes on to say that the quirks that initially attracted Donnie to Jenny are now just annoying to him and to make matters worse they have conflicting ideas about how to parent their blended family (he has two sons, she has one), and some say Jenny wants to be that boss. At this point, their reality show — and who knew they had a reality show? — may be the only thing holding them together.

Again, I go back to Donnie expecting Jenny could be an adult and I say, ‘Duh.’

In Icky Couple News … Rupert Murdoch is dating Jerry Hall.

Yup, 84-year-old Murdoch who fired his last wife two years ago, decided not to find a twenty-something to bang, but instead chose 59-year-old Jerry Hall.

Rupert and Hall … RupHall?

There have been longtime rumors that Jay Z once bumped uglies with Rihanna and that’s why Solange came for him in that elevator brawl after the Met Ball a couple of years back.

But now, according to Jay Z and RiRi’s former publicist, Jonathan Hay — yes, they shared a publicist and only a publicist … get your minds outta the gutter — says that rumor is about as real as Beyoncé’s hair and singing voice. And bendable pregnancy bump

Hay says he was forced to, ahem, “tell the truth” after being outed as a lair by J. Randy Taraborrelli, author of Becoming Beyoncé, who claims Hay used that story to drum up publicity before the release of RiRi’s first single, “Pon de Replay.” And Hay says he’s already apologized to Beyoncé and given her his first born … a girl called Blue Ivy … or something.

Still, I believe Hay’s story as much as I believe that the pictures on Beyoncé’s Instagram haven’t been photoshopped to within an inch of their lives.

If it ever comes up in your life that you become Tom Cruise’s roommate, just say ‘No.’ That bitch is a bitch about the fridge.

While filming his new movie Mena — in which he plays a drug-running pilot — Tommy shared a home with Doug Liman, the film’s director, and Gary Spinelli, the writer of the piece, with each man taking his own floor of the home and then sharing the kitchen and living room.

But Tommy, who supposedly plays a 500-pound man in the film, isn’t keen on that whole sharing business, and refused to let the other men eat any of his food in the refrigerator. Not the Kale chips, not the tofu, not the souls of small children, and especially not the Tupperware containing Nicole Kidman’s fingernail clippings.

Bitch is a bitch about his food, and there is no sharesies. And do not get him going about not doing your dishes because then there would have been a three hour Xenu lecture with an exam and auditing to follow.

So Halle Berry has failed at marriage … again. Three marriages, three divorces, and one 'un'-marriage with baby Daddy Gabriel Aubry.

Methinks Halle needs The Single Life … Permanently.

But Halle tried to be sly when filing for divorce because she actually used fake names on the papers so the media wouldn’t find out right away. She called herself “Hal Maria” and named soon-to-be-in-a-custody-battle-with-her Olivier Martinez “Oliver Martin.”

And Olivier doesn’t think this was at all kosher, you know, fake names and all, so he instantly filed his own papers using their real names, Olivier Martinez and Halle-Can’t-Stay-Married Berry.

Oh and he also filed himself because he wasn’t legally served — as in a process server gives you the papers — because Halle handed, I giggle, because she probably hurled, them to him.

So, prepare for yet another Halle Berry Messy Break-up with rumors of bad tempers and mean people and poor Halle. But I look at it like this: if you’re the person who’s been married thrice, and been in more than a couple of handfuls of relationships that mostly ended badly, should you be throwing shade?

Last Summer former child star and adult reality show whore, Kim Richards was caught stealing from a Target store in Van Nuys. This came on the heels of a boozy weekend in Mexico, which came on the heels of being dragged out by her Manolo's from the Beverly Hills Hotel for being a belligerent drunk. In between came the news that she was “let go” from RHoBH.

Well, Richards has been sentenced and, as happens in LA when even the most pseudo-of-celebrities get busted, the judge threw the book at her. Well, he threw a pamphlet. He gave her 300 hours of community service, 3 years probation and ordered her to attend 52 AA meetings.

That’s what child stars get for stealing from Target, but even more oddly, this is almost the exact same sentence she got for being a drunken, cop kicking mess at the Beverly Hills Hotel: 30 days of community service, 3 years probation and 52 AA meetings.

Even better, the judge didn’t add her latest sentence to her last sentence, as in 300 hours + 30 days of community service and 104 AA meetings; no, she just has to complete 52 AA meetings and 300 hours of community service.

Unless of course she gets busted again before I finish this sentence in which case she'll probably be sentenced to a spa somewhere.

The upside is that both the Beverly Hills Hotel and that Target in Van Nuys have banned her ass from ever appearing there again.

Okay, I am not a Britney fan and if I ever wanted to see Britney Spears in concert, I’d cut her picture out of an old Star magazine, tape it to a popsicle stick and bounce it in front of my face while playing one of her songs.

I mean, it’d be more lifelike, right? And sing better?

And apparently that’s what more and more people think because no one is rushing to buy tickets to see her You Wanna Piece of Me show in Vegas; Spears has been struggling to sell tickets ever since she debuted and there are tons of open seats most nights.

And Spears blames one Celine Dion, whom, if I ever wanted to see her perform live, I’d have myself committed first because my heart would not go on.

I’m hoping that either Planet Hollywood — the home of the Spears’ “show” — and Caesars Palace — where Celine rules — get together and pit the women in  cage match.

I‘d see that.

It's Snarkurday!

Taylor Swift and her pals — and by ‘pals’ I mean the people she brought with her to VMA after-parties and paid their bar tabs, their hair and make-up tabs, stylists and transportation bills — were apparently a bunch of mean girls to diminutive pipsqueak pop star, Arianna Grande, and her brother, hanger-on-with-n-real-job, Frankie, because Swifty demanded the duo be kept away from her and her friend$.

At first, people thought it was just Frankie because … who? … but Swifty made it clear that she wanted an Arianna-Free Zone.

Perhaps TayTay was serving donuts and she didn’t want to tempt Grande who has been known to tongue some sweet treats?

It pays to be a Food Network star and it pays to divorce one, too.

Giada De Laurentiis is officially divorced from her husband Todd Thompson, but not without coughing up some coins.

Giada will pay Todd $9,000 a month in child support and give him their $3.2 million Pacific Palisades home, as well as $300,000 in art and furnishings. He also gets to keep his membership in the swanky Bel-Air Bay Club. In return, Giada gets all rights to an untitled Italian cookbook and her production company, Linguine Pictures, as well as the rights to GDL Foods, Inc.

But, because there was no prenup, Todd will also get 50% of the unpaid advances for various cookbooks, including a $2.5 million balance for Giada at Home/Weeknights with Giada, $2.3 million for Giada Feel Good Food, and $757,000 for Everyday Pasta/Giada’s Kitchen.

Wow. I should’a married a Food Network star!

So, fired Real Housewives of Beverly Hill’s “star” Brandi Glanville is being sued by out-of-a-job Real Housewives of Miami “star” Joanna Krupa because Brandi claims Krupa’s vagina stinks.

Uh huh. And that led to the lawsuit for “slander, libel, defamation and/or intentional inflection of emotional distress”.

Uh huh. And that led to Brandi’s defense lawyers and their questions that Krupa must answer in a deposition:

“Is it your contention in this lawsuit that your vagina and/or vulva are odorless? If yes, please explain with specificity why your vagina and/or vulva are odorless.”

Yup. Krupa will have to prove she has a sweet-smelling va-jay-jay.

That is one jury I want to be excused from …

In other Real Housewives of Beverly Hills news … recovering alcoholic and public drunk, Kim Richards won’t be heading to jail … at least not for acting the fool at a posh hotel.

Richards struck a plea deal this week and will get three years’ probation, and she must attend 52 Alcoholics Anonymous classes and complete 30 days of community labor, like cleaning up a freeway or a hotel bathroom after a drunk vomits in there.

Oh, and she is banned from the Beverly Hills Hotel … for life ... though she’s still facing charges for shoplifting $612.00 worth of stuff from Target.

I wonder if Target will ban her for life as well.

In more vagina news … I sense a trend and I don’t like it … this one is for the books.

A few years ago, some strange fan, or fanatic, started an online rumor that pop star Demi Lovato had, um, flicked her vagina during a meet and greet. Not only that, but Demi apparently flicked her vagina, made fun of the fan’s weight, and made her cry.

Demi called it the most ridiculous experience she’s ever had with a fan and now it’s come back up again because the fan apparently reposted the story …

“[Lovato] was rude, not classy and she lost a long time lovatic that day. I walked into the $350 [meet and greet] and say hello she replies with ‘fat’ and I shook it off because I thought maybe I had heard her wrong. As I approached her and asked to do my pose she stared at me blank faced. I continued talking ‘you saved my life’ I say ‘you’re the reason I’m alive today.’ She looks me dead in the eye and says ‘you’ll die soon enough fatty’ and then whispered ‘obesity.’ I started crying I had never felt pain like this and she started laughing and said ‘are you crying? Stop it. Stop it now’ and she flicked my vagina. I headed out of the M&G section and that’s when Demi started speaking whale to me. I still can’t believe this happened.”

The girl also claims that Lovato exchanged twitter messages and Demi kept up the fat rant, though the girl has no proof.

Seriously? Vagina flicking? Is this a thing?

And back to Swifty, who has apparently left one Sir Ian McKellen homeless.

In a recent interview, Sir Ian tells of the time that he was evicted from his apartment by TayTay. Yup, it seems that Swifty had purchased Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson’s NYC apartment whilst Sir Ian was crashing there. And rather than let it continue, TayTay demanded he leave at once.

According to McKellen, he was “thrown out” a month before he was supposed to leave and ended up sleeping with hobbits or something; but he holds no grudge against Swifty saying:

“Well she bought it, she’s every right to take it over. I was just lodging there for free you know.”

But maybe Ian is a bit miffed, because Swift recently asked McKellen and his bestie, Patrick Stewart, to join her on stage during one of her LA shows but they both declined.

You don’t kick out Gandolf — he was Gandolf, right? — and then ask him to help you out onstage.

So, Tom Brady is now not guilty in the DeflateGate scandal, though a new one might be brewing on the home front.

They say they’re fine, but rumor has it that this summer has been tough — with Tom’s deflated balls, and Giselle’s inflated breasts, and Tom hanging out with Ben Affleck’s nanny in Vegas — and Tom has been “nasty and cold” to Gisele and everyone else while he dealt with DeflateGate drama.

And this week Tom appeared in a photo without.his.wedding.ring!

And we all know what means … he left it on the bathroom counter ... in Vegas ... and Affleck's nanny is now wearing it.

Tori Spelling needs money, y’all. I mean, her billionaire daddy left her just 800K in the will, and since she ran through that she’s been selling her life on reality TV and now people are so sick of her and her cheating-not-cheating-porn-addicted husband, that she’s had to come up with a new way to make some coins … besides getting a job.

She’s suing Benihana. Tori claims she suffered second and third-degree burns after slipping at the Encino Benihana last April and falling onto one of the restaurant’s signature table-side hibachi grills.

Spelling claims to have accrued medical expenses, “general damage” and wage loss—Wages? From what?—while she lolled about a hospital bed thinking of suing.

Tori? Dear? Get a job? Away from cameras and hot stoves? M’kay?

New Couple Alert:

Rosie O’Donnell and Tatum O’Neal are said to be having a “bicoastal” love affair.

Is that the PC term for it these days?

It's Snarkurday!

Filed Under ‘We Already Knew This’: Chris Hemsworth is in that new Vacation movie, which is the same as the old Vacation movie except this one takes place in 2015. That’s the bad news.

The good news? In Chris’ scenes he walks around in his underwear, bearing a massive, er, VPL — Visible Penis Line — albeit with a fake, um, penis, and that’s where the ‘We Already Knew This’ comes in because Chris was too big and brawny for the 8-inch model so they upped him to the 10-incher.

It may be just a knock-off of a decades old movie but, yeah, I may shell out some dough to see some Hemsworth package.

But, again, you already knew that.

Naomi Campbell, who never had an assistant she didn’t hurl a phone at, or saw paparazzi she didn’t try to beat down, received a six-month suspended sentence for injuring paparazzo Gaetano Di Giovanni in August of 2009.

It seems that Campbell and her then boyfriend Vladimir Doronin were sight-seeing on the Sicilian island of Lipari when Giovanni snapped a few pictures and Campbell bashed him in the face with her handbag — apparently it was getting costly to replace all those Face Bashing iPhones.

But the best part is this; in court, Di Giovanni told the judge:

“I had just started taking some shots of her and I did not expect such a violent reaction.”

Naomi should have been found not guilty just for that because everyone knows you don’t rub Campbell the wrong way, with words or pictures, if you aren’t prepared for a bruising.

Been there, still have the scars.

Apparently singer Drake and someone called Meek Mill — which sounds more like a place than a person — are feuding because Meek accused Drake of using ghostwriters and Drake said that Meek needs to change his occupation title to “Nicki Minaj’s coattail surfer.”

I’d say Drake won that round. But then he upped the ante by releasing not one, but two ‘diss tracks’ about the feud, and Meek responded with a ‘diss track’ of his own, in which he claims Drake once took a Golden Shower at a movie theater once:

“You let Tip homie piss on you in a movie theater, nigga, we ain’t forget. “

And, icky as it sounds, it may have actually happened, See, back in 2010, Drake went to a private screening of Takers and he got into a spat over some seats. Now, Drake and his spat-partner were all kinds of drunk at the time, and so the spat-partner pulled out his penis — is there a running theme to this week’s Snarkurday? — and peed on Drake.

Yup. Now, some other folks say the spat-partner peed in the aisle — because that’s what grownups do — and some of it splashed on Drake who didn’t notice. But to that I say, "Don’t pee on my leg and have someone write a song about it."

Or something.

The entire country of Brazil is annoyed with hometown girl Gisele Bundchen for getting a boob job … well, not because she got one, but because she hid under a burqa to get it and has spent years saying she would never get plastic surgery.

But she’s married to Tom, Brady so maybe her original breasts deflated and he demanded she get new one.

For years, Bundchen said she was against surgical enhancements, insisting she maintained her beauty through healthy living, using Twitter and Instagram to show her doing yoga and hiking with her kids and eating fresh fruit and vegetables.

And after returning from the surgeon’s office, she again posted a photo of herself doing yoga, without a comment on what it sure to be forever known as InflateGate.

Her last name by be Jenner but she’s a Kardastrophe from her bubble-butt lips to her ever-expanding ass, and she wants you to get that way, too.

Kylie Jenner has taken to social media to shill PureLeef, a new “natural” butt-enhancing product line to help women enhance, slim and shape their bodies, er butts.

It’s funny, and oh so Kardastrophe like, that Kylie expects anyone to believe that her lips and boobs and ass are now plump and lovely because she used a cream on them.

The only creams she’s ever applied to her body are the creams her plastic surgeon suggests after her fillers and Botox because, at seventeen, she really needs that stuff.

Okay, so Paltrow is a huge Democrat and contributes to many Democratic candidates; I’ll give her props for that.

But bigger than her contributions is her ego … Paltrow supported President Obama during both of his successful campaigns, and now she wants to back Hillary, except Hillary apparently isn’t having it.

A source — and it can’t be Dina or Lindsay because I don’t think either of them is allowed within 200 yards of Goop or Hillary — says:

“Hillary does not like how Gwyneth tried to turn the last fundraiser at her home into a Paltrow production and [Hillary has] blatantly refused Gwyneth’s offer to assist. Hillary had her people tell Gwyneth ‘thanks, but no thanks.’ Hillary absolutely loathes everything that Gwyneth stands for, and although she is trying to win the vote of the Hollywood community, she has standards on who she allows to be involved in her campaign.”

The source claims that Gwyneth “thinks she is the guru of these things since she hosted the fundraiser for President Obama last year” which makes complete sense because Goop thinks she knows everything about everything … except Hillary, I’m guessing.

Makes me wanna vote Clinton all the more.

A couple of months ago, when former — she’s since been, um, ‘let go’ — Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, Kim Richards, slipped out of rehab so she could go to her daughter’s wedding in Mexico and get all drunk and stuff, I predicted that Richards was the OL … Original Lohan.

I mean, she’s done rehab more than once, like Lohan, and skipped out on programs, like Lohan, and now, well, she’s been arrested for shoplifting, like Lohan.

Although, to be fair, Lindsay Lohan was accused to stealing a $2,000 necklace, while Kim was nabbed stealing $600 worth of Pringles and Onion Dip at Target. I kid about the Pringles, but she did walk out without paying for a shopping cart filled with $600 worth of merchandise.

Her bail was set at $5,000, and, if she continues on her path, I’m assuming she’s making a phone call to Lohan’s lawyer Shawn Holley right about now.

Ben and Jen … Poof. Reba and Narvel … Poof. Gwen and Gavin … Poof. Kermit and Miss Piggy … Poof.

Will and Jada? Again? Rumors have been running rampant for the entirety of their seventeen year marriage that this whole this was a heavily bearded sham of a union. And whenever the rumors flew, Will and/or Jada would give an interview declaring their love the greatest of all and spewing their “divorce is not an option” mantra and kinda hinting that they have an open marriage as long as they come home to one another every so often.

But this week when the rumors flared up again, Little Willie wasn’t having it, and so he posted this to Facebook because, well, I don’t know:

“Under normal circumstances, I don’t usually respond to foolishness. (Because it’s contagious) But, so many people have extended me their “deepest condolences” that I figured – “What the hell… I can be foolish, too!”

So, in the interest of redundant, repetitious, over & over-again-ness… Jada and I are… NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! : -)

I promise you all – if I ever decide to divorce my Queen – I SWEAR I’ll tell you myself!”

I say, Who cares?

I also say it was quite odd that Jada also posted to Facebook:

“I promise you all – if I ever decide to divorce my Queen – I SWEAR I’ll tell you myself!”

Okay, maybe she didn’t, but wouldn’t that have been a great post?