I Didn't Say It ... But First: Remember the 49

Ten years ago today, the Pulse massacre changed Orlando forever.

Forty‑nine lives were stolen. Fifty‑three more were injured, many still carrying the physical and emotional weight of that night. Families, friends, and loved ones have spent a decade navigating an absence that shows up at dinner tables, birthdays, holidays, and in all the quiet everyday moments that should have been theirs.

And yet, in the middle of heartbreak, Orlando showed what real community looks like. People lined up to donate blood, raised money for survivors and families, and stood shoulder‑to‑shoulder with the LGBTQ+ and Latino communities. Grief met action. Pain met solidarity. Love showed up.

Today, we remember the 49. We honor the survivors. We hold their loved ones close.

The most meaningful way to honor them is through action: standing against hate, supporting LGBTQ+ people, protecting vulnerable communities, and building a world where everyone can live safely, openly, and joyfully.

This is why we have PRIDE

Joan Rivers, who would have been 93 this past Tuesday, on same-sex marriage:

“Gay marriage: I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married it will cost me a fortune in gifts.”

Oh Joanie, you gifted us every time you opened your mouth and made us laugh.

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Jason Virgo, an Australian politician, newly elected member of the South Australian House of Assembly as a member pf the right-wing populist political party One Nation, coming out:

“The reality is I have been openly gay throughout my entire adult life [but] I do not wave the flag in the air as I walk down the street. I prefer people to find out these things naturally. There are times when those of us who are gay feel we have to hide it for our own safety or just sometimes to avoid social awkwardness. But I would rather my community hear it directly from me than from a potential political opponent or whispers. If someone does seek to weaponize who I am, that says more about them than it does about me … As my partner knows too well, I do sweat the small stuff. [But] we have built a life together. I think about where we started out, about how much we’ve grown together, and how much we’ve achieved in the 11 years of being together. Thank you for standing by me through every high and low. Your faith and support when things felt overwhelming. And helping me keep going. You are the love of my life by my side.”

It would be nice to just be, but that isn’t the world today. You do need to come out, though it needn’t be the flag-waving in your face coming out all the time. It’s introducing your husband as your husband; it’s not hiding the pronoun of whomever you’re dating. It’s just being.

Years ago at one of my first jobs in high school, the manager was chatting with me as we filled out paperwork and asked if I had a girlfriend. I said, No; but then she asked if I had a boyfriend and I said, No; but then she asked if I wanted a girlfriend or boyfriend.

 I realized in that moment she wasn’t judging me or trying to out me, she just wanted me to feel comfortable with my answer.

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Jodi Picoult, LGBTQ+ ally, and author known for novels that explore complex social issues, on the difference between ‘tolerance’ and ‘acceptance’:

“[T]here is a subtle difference between tolerance and acceptance. It’s the distance between moving into the cul-de-sac and having your next-door neighbor trust you to keep an eye on her preschool daughter for a few minutes while she runs out to the post office. It’s the chasm between being invited to a colleague’s wedding with your same-sex partner and being able to slow-dance without the other guests whispering.”

Tolerate means to allow, endure, or put up with something. I don’t need you to put up with me, endure me, or allow me; acceptance will do just fine.

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Karl Urban, actor, on the need for equality:

“The day people are no longer persecuted for their sexuality. Ethnicity, religion or gender, I’ll be proud to be human.”

Wouldn’t that be the best day ever! People not having to hide who they are, fear for their lives because of who they are; what a day!

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Mario Cantone, openly gay actor and comedian, on his early days in the comedy scene:

“I got fucking pushed aside and kicked and fired, many times. I was doing standup for years and I passed [as straight] at the mainstream comedy clubs. They were all great about it. They didn’t care. They liked what I did. But every time there was an audition where the networks would come, for a development deal or whatever? Never [got it]. I was booked on Johnny Carson in 1986 … I remember [the talent booker] coming up to me at the Improv. He’s like, ‘I don’t know what you’re going to do. We’re going to put together six minutes. You’re amazing.’ And then like a week before he said, ‘I looked at the tape again and your act has a gay edge to it and I think it will make Johnny nervous’ and he pulled the date.”

Odd, because Johnny had Rip Taylor on a lot and he was clearly, flamboyantly, gay. I guess since that was his whole act, it played well, and perhaps Mario’s “gay edge” touched a nerve because being gay wasn’t the joke.

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Random Musings

Well, this didn’t work out as planned, or as promised.

Back when Pope Frankie paid a visit to Philadelphia, it was reported that the World Meeting of Families — whatever that is — would cover all costs for the papal visit, except …

They won’t, and now the city of Philadelphia, er, the people of the city of Philadelphia and Pennsylvania, are on the hook for roughly half of the $17 million it took to cover "Frankie Goes To Philly."

Eight million bucks? Why that’s just half of Frankie’s yearly shoe budget at Prada.

I kinda have always liked John Stamos. He was cute as a younger actor, but he’s quite hot now.

So, why John, why, did you take a page from the Kardastrophe playbook and pose for Paper magazine bare-assed?

I mean, I like that you’re bare-assed — it’s a nice ass ... though I’ve seen better — but when you take the lead from one of that Klan it just seems pathetic and try hard.

UPDATE: Y’all remember last week I posted about Lake Lure Academy in North Carolina that banned all school groups after some parents got all pissy about the formation of an LGBT group? If now, the refresher is HERE.

Anyway, the brass at the school responded to a warning letter from the ACLU of North Carolina by voting night to resume all student-led clubs:

"To the students who are currently in the newly-formed gay-straight alliance, or any student who may wish to participate in the future, we respect you as individuals and support you as members of our school family. We support your club just as we do the chess club, Raptors for Christ and all other clubs that exist or may form under our policy guidelines. Our school is a place of inclusion, not exclusion."

That should’a been the policy long before some parents got involved.

So, on the heels of that terrorist attack in San Bernardino last week, Republican of course, Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore released her holiday card featuring everyone, save the toddlers, armed and loaded … because nothing says Christmas like Lunatics with Guns:

“It’s up to Americans to protect America. We’re just your ordinary American family. - With love & liberty, Michele.”

Um, no you’re not, Michelle, You and your clan have stolen Christmas for the NRA and nothing says Jesus is the reason for the season like this idiotic display.

Go f**k yourselves.

Speaking of crazy … there’s a little less crazy down in the Lonestar State … for the moment.

Last week Texas GOP leaders voted down two controversial proposals:

1] Calling yet again for the state to secede from the Union — though a lot of us would be like, “Don’t let the door hit you, where the Good lord split you.”

2] The call to move the party’s convention out of Dallas over that city’s recent decision to strengthen LGBT protections. 

Yup, even Texas gets it right … sometimes.

Okay, it’s enough already.

Ever since her mother died last year Melissa Rivers has been riding Joan’s coattails harder than ever. She posts from mama’s Facebook page, she gives interviews to talk about her mother; she took over hosting of the Fashion Police after Joan’s death and Kathy Griffin’s disastrous attempts to revive the brand, and now this …

Melissa says that David O. Russell asked her if she would do a little cameo as the late Joan Rivers in Joy and she did it. Yes, she’s now playing her own mother on film.

I’m getting “Joan Crawford playing her daughter Christina’s character in that soap opera” realness and it’s making me ill.

Enough already!

Random Musings

Madonna took a tumble the other night at the Brit Awards after a dancer tried to remove a cape she was wearing. She recovered — and the track  kept playing — and carried on like a trouper, though I wondered if she should re-title some of her songs …

Like A Prayer [That I Don’t Break a Hip]

MedicAlert™ Girl

Take A Fall

True Bruise

La Isla Boniva™

Don’t Cry For Me Argentina 

Okay, that one stays the same.

So, Donny Osmond was unnerved by the sight of NPH in his briefs at the Oscars and Tweeted ‘#noclass’ for a man to appear in his underwear onstage during a performance.

Osmond apparently had no issues with appearing onstage 2,000 times in a loin cloth, though.

#hypocrite #STFU

Speaking of the Oscars … where the hell was Joan Rivers during the In Memoriam” segment? She directed a feature film, she appeared in feature films, she did voices for feature films, and she was a staple on the Oscar red carpet and she gets the snub?

Apparently, according to an Oscar drone, they just didn’t have room for Rivers:

 “Joan Rivers is among the many worthy artists and filmmakers we were unfortunately unable to feature in the In Memoriam segment of this year’s Oscar show. She is, however, included in our In Memoriam gallery on Oscar.com.”

Oh, good, they put her on the web.

Shame on you, Oscar, and shame on you for leaving out Elaine Stritch, too.

In Coming Out news … retired minor league baseball player Jason Burch has publicly come out as gay, saying that, while he was open about his sexuality to teammates who asked — one asked if he had a girlfriend, and Burch said he did not and that he was into guys — he wishes he’d been more open to people who didn't ask him about it directly, and says he would do it differently if he had to chance:

"Looking back, I wish I had told the whole world that I'm gay from day one. That feeling of being relied upon, that people must turn to you as a closer to make things right, to have that role - and to have people have that feeling about me in that role - as a gay man, I think that would have been a powerful message. If we are talking about changing people's opinions, I do think that would have been a powerful message. But I wasn't really thinking about that at the time."

Burch quit baseball in 2008 and received a law degree a few years later. He's now practicing law in Chicago and has been with his partner since 2012.

And, so naturally, we here at HOMO HQ send him our best regards for Coming Out, as well as a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Jason.

Boy, what they won’t do down there in Alabama to keep The Gays out of marriage.

Justice Glenn Murdock wrote a two-page opinion on the ruling that marriage equality should rule in Alabama, and said that Alabama, rather than allowing it’s gay and lesbian citizens the rights and privileges of marriage, that marriage should just be banned altogether.

M’kay. That’s a little extreme, even for a wingnut with a gavel, but, well, let’s do it; but start with your own please. Get off the bench, hang up the robe, put your gavel back in its museum case, get in the Mercedes and drive home and tell your wife you’re not married any more. And tell your children they’re all just bastard children, too.

And then STFU.

We’ve been watching The Slap on NBC for the past couple of weeks. When I read the synopsis—a tale of what happens when one man reprimands the child of another man by slapping him—my first thought was, That’s a show?

Talk about a show about nothing … and not in the Seinfeld way.

But then I read that was an 'event' program, and not planned on as a regular series, so, well, we watched. And it was good … and hot.

It doesn’t hurt that it stars — from top left, and then clockwise — Thomas Sadoski, Penn Badgley, Peter Sarsgaard and my personal openly gay hottie, Zachary Quinto.

But, word of caution, NBC: don’t make this into a whole show, please?

So, the Justice Department announced that they are closing their investigation into the murder of Trayvon Martin, who was gunned down by serial criminal George Zimmerman three years ago. Federal prosecutors concluded that there was not sufficient evidence to prove that Zimmerman had intentionally violated Martin's civil rights, and as such they will not be charging Zimmerman … which basically means that Zimmerman, who murdered Martin, committed no crime, at least not the way dumbass laws are written in Florida.

The good news, if there really is any, is that Zimmerman has had a string of encounters with the police, both before and after the shooting, and virtually all of them involve him being violent, so, like OJ Simpson, another murderer, Zimmerman will most assuredly spend a great deal of time locked up one day.

Fingers crossed.

In American Horror Story news, the new season is to be titled American Horror Story: Hotel and will see Lady Gaga taking part, in an as yet undisclosed role.

It might be, could be, a kind of Shining season of AHS and when you think about it, Gaga already has a closet full of horrific clothes to wear.

Waiting to see how this pans out …

It's hard coming out as gay or lesbian to your family, and, I'm sure, even harder coming out as transgender. But wouldn't it be nice if the parents of our transgendered brothers and sisters had parents like this:

Random Musings

Carlos is letting his hair grow; or not.

But while deciding whether to trim his locks or let them run rampant, his hairstyles range from a Justin Bieber-ish looking "don't" to a Andrew Jackson pompadour to a Bob's Big Boy swirl.

I can't with it. I can't.

Well well well … look who’s married, legally, in South Carolina!

That’s right, the stay has been lifted after the US Supreme Court denied Attorney General Alan Wilson’s cry for an appeal.

South Carolina. Marriage equality. Who, besides me, never saw that coming so soon?

Last week was the Colonial Cup, the last event in the National Steeplechase Association season, an annual event here in Smallville, er, Camden. It brings about 60,000 extra folks to our little town, a boost for local businesses and our wee economy.

But this year I met Tony Bentley, the man who calls the races on the steeplechase circuit. Tony lives in New Orleans, but travels around the country to each event, announcing the races.

But that’s not the coolest thing about Tony Bentley. In having a conversation with him, the chat turned to American Horror Story: Freak Show. He asked if I watched; I said, Are you kidding? I’ve been hooked since the first episode!

Then he let me in on a little secret: Tony Bentley played Mr. Hanley, toy store owner, who had his head chopped off by Twisty the Clown!

He showed me all kinds of pictures on his phone; on the set with Twisty — played by John Carroll Lynch — and told fabulous stories about the divine Jessica Lange; apparently she really is divine.

But the last photo was one of Tony, holding his own special effects head in his hands.

Very cool! Who knew in Smallville I would ever meet one of Twisty’s victims!

Bill Cosby.

I don’t know if he raped those women — thirteen at last count — and I don’t know that he didn’t. I do know that he should quit playing this I won’t talk about it game and give an interview to either fully dispute the allegations or come clean.

Sidenote: before anyone says, Well, he paid off one victim, lets’ be clear that just because he settled the suit doesn’t automatically make him guilty.

Still, he needs to stop the dodging and answer some questions.

That said … Don Lemon.

He has now offered an apology to one of Cosby’s accusers, Joan Tarshis, after offering her advice, on air, on air as to how avoid getting sexually abused:

“You — you know, there are ways not to perform oral sex if you didn’t want to do it.”

Way to blame the victim, Don. And, as a man who says he was a victim of sexual abuse as a minor, you really should have known better.

So, One Direction's Harry Styles is adding even more fuel to the bisexual rumor fire when, during an interview, he and bandmate Niall Horan were asked about which celebrities they might hook up with and, after rattling off the Ariana’s and the Rihanna’s the interviewer suggested that perhaps he might choose a man. That prompted Styles to touch Horan’s knee and say, “Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it."

Now Styles has never said he was gay, or bisexual, but he’s playing it like a game, just like Nick Jonas and his crotch-grabbing, gay club going, shirtless antics, in an attempt to pander to the gay community to sell some music.

I find it insulting; neither man/boy is gay and this all reeks of just playing to gay men to make some money.

Don’t use us to sell a record, m’kay. Oh, and for the record, Nick, Joe is the cuter one.

Lotsa folks upset with People over their Sexiest Man Alive pick, saying it should’a been Chris Pratt.

I disagree. Chris Hemsworth oozes sex, in his eyes, in his accent, in his body, in that magnificent bum — take a peek at Rush to see for yourself.

But, howsabout having an openly gay man as the Sexiest Man alive? Or maybe a man of color? Here are my choices …

Child abuser, Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings, has been suspended without pay for the remainder of the NFL season after he has “shown no meaningful remorse” over his child abuse charges.

The announcement came from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell:

“You have shown no meaningful remorse for your conduct. When indicted, you acknowledged what you did but said that you would not ‘eliminate whooping my kids’ and defended your conduct in numerous published text messages to the child’s mother. You also said that you felt ‘very confident with my actions because I know my intent.’ These comments raise the serious concern that you do not fully appreciate the seriousness of your conduct, or even worse, that you may feel free to engage in similar conduct in the future.”

Sadly, Peterson makes some 20 million a year so I don’t really think he’ll be hurting much, and nowhere near as much as he hurt his own son.

And, since I Should Be Laughing is the go-to source for all things sports — now that's comedy —let’s dish a little about the Steelers’ backup halfback LeGarrette Blount, who was apparently so upset that he did not have a carry against in the Steelers win over Tennessee that he walked off the field and sat on the team bus.

Uh huh; like a spoiled child. At least one team-member thought they should leave him in Nashville.

And I agree.

I LOVE this!

According to analysis of the National Organization for Marriage’s 2013 tax filings done by the Human Rights Campaign [HRC], NOM raised $5.1 million in 2013, which amounts to less than half of what they raised the year prior.

And just two … two … 2 donors accounted for more than half of that five million.

Just further proof that NOM is done.

Well, it looks like Kathy Griffin will be taking over for the late great Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. 

I like Kathy; she’ll be good, but she won’t be Joan.

And the show won’t be on every week, but instead will air as special episodes after awards shows and big Hollywood events.

Like I said, Kathy will be good, and fun, but she won’t be Joan.

No one will ever be Joan.