Why Is It ...

… that whenever I say, “How stupid can you be?” some people seem to take it as a challenge

… that little gesture I make with my hands that looks like a heart isn’t a heart; it’s my hands around your scrawny neck if you keep fucking with me.

… that whenever someone says “there are two types of people in this world” I always cut in and say, “And I avoid both.”

… that I find it sad to live in a world where we add a word to the dictionary just because stupid people use it enough … it’s really sus … you haven’t got rizz …  and you’re delulu.

… that if you see me jogging, for the love of god, kill whatever is chasing,me.

… that y’all need to know that if I am a sarcastic asshole with you it’s either because I really like  and feel comfortable teasing you, or because I really hate you and don’t care if you know it; but good luck figuring it out.

… that I believe the walls of Hell are all lined with the deleted selfies from your phone

… that sometimes I have to close my eyes, count to ten, take a deep breath, and remind myself that I wouldn’t look good in prison stripes so I just smile at the dumbass and walk away

… that most days I feel like life is like a soup and I’m a fork

… that the more I get to know certain people the more I understand why Noah only let animals on the Ark

Bobservations

I’m just putting this out there: if a story breaks about a man flattened with a cartoon frying pan by his husband because every single morning he sings and dances to that BK jingle:

♫ ♪ At BK, have it your way. You rule. ♪ ♫

It wasn’t me.

From 10/20 … Tuxedo wished no ill will for the former and current Occupant of the White House but felt he should have suffered like the average American with the virus.

So, the GOP says a Gun Registry is too hard to do, but registering Autistic Americans is information we need to have.

Oh GOP, kindly f**k all the way off.

I love that Diana Ross showed up  to the Met Gala and stopped the carpet in that fabulous hat and giant coat that was embroidered with the names of her five children and eight grandchildren, but the best part is when Christian Siriano noted that her dress was one from her own closet like she was sitting home in Connecticut and thought:

“I think I’ll go to the gala.”

And slay.

PS Of note is that 81-year-old Diana Ross is on a world concert tour.

The Felon wants to reopen Alcatraz, which has been closed since 1963, to house prisoners. May I suggest we turn Mar-Illegal into a prison since it already has one convicted felon there.

And it already has the guard tower …

There are those who say you shouldn’t have sand in your cakes and those who say sometimes it okay … which side do you fall on with these specific cakes?

Something to ponder … JD Vance dropped Ohio State’s championship trophy during White House celebration … JD Vance visited the Pope who died the very next day … JD Vance visited India and then a terrorist attack occurred and wear broke out … JD Vance endorsed his brother for mayor of Cincinnati and his brother lost 83% to 11%.

Stay away from JD Vance. And I’m not just talking to the furniture.

Speaking of the Met Gala, Andrew Scott nailed the assignment of the theme: "Superfine: Tailoring Black Style."

Bold color and a celebration of Black dandyism on a hot gay man. And while just looking at those shoes hurts my feet, they are fabulous!

Win, win.

In case you were wondering why the Resistance keeps targeting Target, here’s why … the average Target Team Member in America earns about $3,044 per month which means the Target CEO earns $2,188,636 a month.

Yeah, no wonder Target is anti-equity.

Aleksa Gavrilović's story began when he got scouted by a modeling agency while pursuing his dream of becoming a lawyer but … Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

… that it’s been a wild year this week?

… that as I get older and remember all the people I’ve lost along the way I think to myself … maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

… that when I die I don’t want y’all looking for me in sunsets or butterflies or wildflowers. Look behind you, that’s me chasing you up the stairs.

… that I stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about, then I stress about stressing over stress that doesn’t need to stressed about? It’s stressful.

… that I want all of you who signed my 8th grade yearbook and told me to ‘Stay cool’ to know that I did.

… that I count my work days like I’m in jail. Three more wake ups and I’m free!  

… that things you find offensive I often find hilarious? And why does it make me happier than you?

… that when I was just 5-years-old a bear told me only I could prevent forest fires; why I was chosen I will never know.

Meme Dump

The Funny Papers

Gary Huck, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, Jack Ohman, Deb Milbrath, Tim Campbell, Jeff Danziger, Michael de Adder, Bill Day, Matt Davies, Clay Bennett, Marc Murphy,

The Funny Papers

Nick Anderson, Rick McKee, Chris Britt, David Horsey, JD Crowe, Steve Brodner, Joe Wos, Ed Wexler, Jeffrey Koterba, Jérémie Monhonval, Dave Whamond, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Paul Fell, Clay Bennett