Bobservations

While traveling out to Oregon last week, a rather nice woman sat next to Carlos and me and said Hello. She then looked at me and asked if he was my … wait for it, it’s epic, it nearly took the top of his head off … if he was my father!

I laughed; Carlos choked. I told her Carlos was my husband and she turned bright red and said she asked because she saw me helping him down the ramp to the plane as he held my arm. So I explained that he was visually impaired and used a cane, but also took my arm because it makes it easier to board a plane.

We all had a good laugh about it, though Carlos’ laugh had a tinge of bitterness to it.

This Tuxedo Says comes from May 2020 when we were still housebound:

“As  always happens, Tuxedo and I are on the same page, though, yeah, I’ll wait until it’s safe.”

He was more eager for outside than I.

It was quite cold and rainy in Oregon so I was really in the mood for some Hot Tropical Island cakes.

The closing of the estate went rather smoothly, with just two small glitches …

The first was at the Oregon DMV to transfer titles of the cars to my brother. We walked in the little building to find two DMV employees behind the counter and we waited a beat for one of them to ask us to step up. Finally, one guy said:

“You need to take a number.”

So we turned, and grabbed a ticket, #67, and then turned back around in time to hear the same man say:

“Now serving number 67.”

I kid you not.

The second glitch was on a phone call to the wireless provider and took me asking “Representative” about forty times before I was finally put on hold to wait for said Representative for forty-five minutes.

I maintained my composure, though the last twenty or so “Representatives” had a bit of a bite to them.

Another Tale of Carlos … on our first night in Oregon as we were getting to sleep after a long day traveling, Carlos suddenly jerked his leg up and said he had a cramp in his calf. I moved over and started massaging his leg and stretching it out slowly until the pain was gone, and then we settled down to go back to sleep.

I, however, started to laugh:

“What’s so funny?”

“I was thinking of the lady on the plane who thought you were my Dad.”

“And?”

“If she saw you now, she might think you were my Crampa! Get it? You have a Cramp so you’re my Crampa!!!”

I laughed until he smothered me with a pillow and I fell asleep unconscious.

We drove down the coast for a bit on our last day in Oregon and stopped in the town of Florence, Oregon. We toured a few shops, had some coffee and a pasty to nosh on and then I found my new favorite coffee cup:

Love. 

I saw this guy at the airport while waiting for our flight home to Columbia. The thighs, glistening and impressive; the big feet, a harbinger of what might be; the guns, threatening to envelope me.

I stared and then I snapped the photo. Later, while sitting on the plane during boarding I saw  Mr. Beefcake’s girlfriend coming down the aisle and hoped to get a good long look at his face … and when I saw it, it reminded me of my gay friend Kenneth and I waiting for a table in a restaurant. He looks through the dining room, spots a male server, and asks the hostess:

“Oh, can we have him?”

“Sure.”

And she started to lead us to a table when Kenneth stopped and told the girl to never mind.

“You don’t want him as your server?”

“Nope. He’s far away hot and up close ugly.”

That was Mr. Beefcake. Full face view and it ruined everything.

This full face view ruined nothing ... Lockhart Brownlie is an actor, singer, dancer, model and out gay man, but the question is: Would You Hit It?

Anthony Dickerson Has To Be On His Best Behavior Before Donating A Kidney To His Son

What is wrong with people? Why, when a simple decision, a right decision, is in front of them, do some people take a step back to think about it? The right thing is always right.

A.J.  is two; he was born without kidneys. But a surgery that could save his life is being held up because of red tape and bureaucracy.

See, there is a donor of kidney for A.J. and he’s a perfect match because he happens to be A.J.’s father, Anthony Dickerson. And Anthony, who had always wanted a son, was ready to donate a kidney to his son until he was arrested for violating his probation last month on an original charge of possession of a firearm.

And that’s when the hospital decided to take a step back and rethink Anthony Dickerson’s offer. Oh, originally, Emory Hospital was fine with the situation, even asking the Gwinnett County Jail if Dickerson could be escorted to Emory for blood work and a pre-operative” but then, Dickerson claims, the hospital’s attitude changed once he was released from custody.

Now, the Living Donor Transplant Team at Emory wants evidence Anthony Dickerson is in compliance from his parole officer for the next three months; they say if Anthony Dickerson exhibits “good behavior” for the next three months, will re-evaluate his offer to donate a kidney to his own son.

So, basically, the man who is a perfect match to donate a kidney to his son, a man who wants to donate, who is ready to donate, who is in perfect health to donate, is being denied that option because he violated his parole. And Emory Healthcare will not answer questions about the case because of patient confidentiality; they have even refused to answer a question about how someone being arrested impacts the possibility of donating a kidney.

Naturally, Anthony Dickerson hopes his arrest doesn’t hurt his son's chances at living a normal life:

"What do he got to do with the mistakes I made? Nothing."

A.J. suffered a stroke two months ago, and now needs constant care and doctor's visits, but now he's being told to wait even though the perfect match has been found. The family now says their only option now is to get on the kidney transplant wait list, and that can take months, or even years.

Emory Hospital is risking the life of a child because, basically, they want to play the moral card: daddy committed a crime so he cannot donate a kidney? A child is suffering because they are asking for evidence of “good behavior”? What kind of fuckery is that? And, while I hate bringing race into it, I wonder, if A.J. was a little white boy in need of a kidney and his father, a perfect match, was a white man who violated his parole, would the story be the same?

I wonder ... and while Emory Hospital wants to wait and see, random strangers are reaching out to the family, calling the local news, contacting the hospital, to see if they’re a match for A.J. ...

This may sound crazy but if I could get in touch with this family, and if I were a match for this boy would it be possible to donate my kidney to him? As a gift so to speak? I would want nothing in return ...  I am a perfectly healthy 25-year-old female and it seems so silly and awful that this child could die because of the situation. I have a 3-year-old daughter and I can't imagine if it were my baby. I know I might not be a match but IF I were, I would want to do this...

I’m only 18 but after reading the toddlers story I feel like no child should have to suffer from mistakes one of their parents have made. I would love to help and see if I’m a match.

I would like to know how I can help the child by donating one of my kidneys.We recently came across your news article about 2-year-old, A.J., being denied a kidney transplant his father, Mr. Anthony Dickerson, is willing to donate to him and thought we may be of assistance to A.J. and his family. We have fought the good fight of justice for over 20 years and offer help and support to those who may not get heard otherwise. We are about community, what's right, and above all, justice for our clients. Our motto is "Not I But We!"

I am a 19-year-old college student in Missouri. I read your story on Carmella Burgess and her 2-year-old son and it weighed on my heart. I would like to get in contact with her to see if she would allow me to get tested to see if I am a match for a kidney transplant for her little boy.

I saw the report on the 2-year-old. We would be delighted to consider doing their surgery at the Texas Medical Center.

I live in Dayton, Ohio. I will be willing to donate a kidney to the 2-year-old boy if I am a match. I do not do any drugs, smoke any tobacco products, nor am I a felon/have a criminal record. The father and myself may be around the same age. If you and the family are willing or want to try to get the process going, you are more than welcome to contact me.”

Strangers are offering kidneys because a hospital wants Anthony Dickerson minds his manners for three months before they will allow him to donate a kidney to his son.

And who knows what might happen to A.J. during those ninety days ...

11 Alive

South Carolina: We Don't Care About The Children Of Same-Sex Couples

As we continue the march toward full marriage equality in all fifty states, whether through state courts or legislatures, or through action, again, by the Supreme Court, we will continue to see more and more stories like this one come up.

Lisa and Melody Rawson are a same-sex couple who, in 2002, while living in New York, adopted a son. Eight years later they decided to get married in Iowa. Then last year, after coming to see that the winter’s in the Northeast were difficult for their special needs son, the Rawson’s moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and warmer temperatures.

But it actually got colder.

Their son, Terrel, is wheelchair-bound with spina bifida, a bilateral hip dislocation and a condition that causes water on the brain among other medical issues. When the family lived in New York, Terrel was receiving $600 in Social Security disability payments per month for his condition, but once they moved down here, again, for his health, they haven’t seen a penny because, here in South Carolina, their marriage is unrecognizable, so the Social security benefits no longer apply.

The Rawson’s have contacted everyone from the Social Security Administration to the Justice Department, and have even written to Congress asking anyone to look into their situation, and all they get is the run-around.

The run-around is this: the state of South Carolina says it does not have the paperwork to approve the forms to put Mother and Mother on the forms to get the paperwork so they can get the funds their son needs.

Yes, there is no form to fill out, to get a form to fill out, to put Mother and Mother on a form that will get them a form to fill out to get Social Security.

This has got to change, y’all, because now an innocent child is suffering because of the inequalities in this country. 

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