Greg Gutfeld, Fox News Loon, offering a solution to school shootings:
“Society is changing. You have to teach kids how to respond. You have to be rational about it, which means hardening soft targets through drills and training. Learning combat. Learning hand-to-hand combat. This works, by the way, for terror, if there’s a terror attack, and it works for school shootings. How do you improve upon this rationally? Well, you train them. That simple. Self-defense classes are the best thing for a kid.”
Yes, let’s send all out kids to combat school rather than making it more difficult to buy an assault weapon, rather than thoroughly vetting those who want guns.
Ass.
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Jimmy Kimmel, after the shooting in Parkland, and after playing a clip of _____ saying “no parent should ever have to fear for their sons and daughters when they kiss them good-bye in the morning”:
“Here’s what you do to fix that. Tell your buddies in Congress—tell Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell and Marco Rubio, all the ‘family’ men who care so much about their communities—that what we need are laws. Real laws that do everything possible to keep assault rifles out of the hands of people who are going to shoot our kids. Go on TV and tell them to do that. Tell these Congressmen and lobbyists, who infest that swamp you said you were going to drain, force these allegedly Christian men and women who stuff their pockets with money from the NRA year after year after year to do something. And don’t you dare let anyone say it’s too soon. Children are being murdered. Do something. We still haven’t even talked about it. You still haven’t done anything about this. Nothing. You’ve literally done nothing. Actually you’ve done worse than nothing. You like to say this is a mental health issue, but one of your very first acts as president … was to actually roll back the regulations that were designed to keep firearms out of the hands of the mentally ill. You did that. Your party voted to repeal the mandates on coverage for mental health. So, I agree, this is a mental illness issue because if you don’t think we need to do something about it, you are obviously mentally ill. Whatever you do, do something because I, for one, am very, very, very, very tired of this.”
Let’s see, you roll back healthcare for mentally ill people, you take away stipulations that people with mental illnesses cannot get a gun, then a lunatic shoots up a school and you say the problem is mental illness?
Nope, you are the problem.
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Gus Kenworthy, on learning that his post-run kiss with his boyfriend at the Olympics, was going viral:
“[I] didn't realize this moment was being filmed yesterday but I'm so happy that it was. My childhood self would never have dreamed of seeing a gay kiss on TV at the Olympics but for the first time ever a kid watching at home CAN! Love is love is love.”
My adult self never thought I’d see that kiss.
Times do change.
Love is love.
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Todd Starnes, another Fox News Loon, on the surviving students of the Parkland school shooting being brainwashed by the “government-funded indoctrination camps” AKA public schools:
“The Mainstream Media is using survivors of the Florida school shooting as propaganda pawns to attack President Trump, the NRA and the Second Amendment. They are literally using children as human shields in their bloodthirsty attempt to take down the president … The media and the Democrats are coming after gun owners in America. This is right out of the Saul Alinsky propaganda playbook, ladies and gentlemen, and it is getting ugly. I’m not sure how many Republicans are going to be able to hold the line on this. We can't fault the children's ideology - they don't know any better. They've been brainwashed by government-funded indoctrination camps - pardon me - public schools.”
No, it’s called common sense, you dick; it’s called finally having enough, finally seeing one too many Americans killed because the right, and rightwingnut pasty-faced trolls like Starnes, think the NRA is their chance they get.
That time, I hope, is coming to an end, and Republicans will lose their jobs and people like Starnes might also.
Bye Felicia.
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Stephen Colbert, on the Parkland, Florida High School shooting, and Marco Rubio:
“As long as you’re being clear and honest, Senator [Rubio], as a lawmaker your position is ‘the laws are useless! Everyone into the Thunderdome!’ … Then why do we need you? It seems like a houseplant would do a better job and [playing the well-known thirsty Rubio clip from his State of the Union response] it would probably need a little less water. I hope these kids don’t give up, because this is their lives and their future. Someone else may be in power, but this country belongs to them. And there is reason for hope: Look at the #MeToo movement. A lot of men in power did not see that coming, but it proved that change can happen overnight. And this is an election year — so if you want to see change, you have to go to the polls and tell the people who will not protect you that their time is up.”
All these politicians muttering about “the kids” don’t realize that those kids will be voters soon, and they won’t forget.
It’s hard to forget seeing your friends massacred at school.
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Fergie, responding to the talk about her horrific—my ears are still bleeding—version of the Star-Spangled Banner at the NBA All-Star Game :
“I’ve always been honored and proud to perform the national anthem and last night I wanted to try something special for the NBA. I’m a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn’t strike the intended tone. I love this country and honestly tried my best.”
Honey, if that was your best …perhaps when you recorded your version, you should have listened to it, and then maybe you would have realized that it was more comedy and blood-curdling, than musical.
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John Oliver, on the shooting at, and the student of, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School:
“These events are now so familiar, we basically automatically know how each side will play out: ‘thoughts and prayers,’ ‘f**k your thoughts and prayers,’ ‘it’s a mental health problem,’ ‘yeah, but it’s also a gun problem,’ and then someone says ‘now’s not the time to talk about gun control,’ and then everybody moves on until it inevitably happens again. But this time felt slightly different because when the ‘now’s not the time’ argument came out, the kids from that school said, ‘You know what? Yes it f**king is.’”
It’s long past time and thank goodness these ‘kids’ have taken up the battle because something just might get done this time.
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