I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’ve always liked actor Liam Neeson after seeing him as the deaf, mute war veteran in Suspect. But who knew that it might have been best for Neeson to be, well, mute in real life?

Neeson is promoting Cold Pursuit in which he plays a man who goes on a killing spree after someone close to him is killed or hurt or kidnapped; in other words, it’s like another Taken movie. But while talking with The Independent about the film Neeson shared a terrible story about how, when he was much younger, he spent days hunting for any black man to hurt or maim or kill … seriously. It began when a close friend told him that she’d been raped by a black man and that sent Neeson off:

“I asked, did she know who it was? No. What color were they? She said it was a black person. I went up and down areas with a cosh [a heavy metal bar], hoping I’d be approached by somebody – I’m ashamed to say that – and I did it for maybe a week, hoping some  ‘black bastard’ would come out of a pub and have a go at me about something, you know? So that I could kill him.”

Yes. He did say that because a friend of his was raped by a black man that he wanted to kill any black man that crossed his path. Seriously … mute would have been better than admitting you were on same racist hunt for any black man to kill.

Someone should tell Neeson when it’s best to stop talking because his promotional tour has become less about the film and more about his admission of racism.

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I’m’a just say it … Mo’Nique is a hot mess. She’s raised the roof over the way she thinks she was badly treated by everyone from Oprah to Tyler Perry to Lee Daniels; she thinks Netflix should be boycotted because they didn’t pay her as much as they paid Amy Schumer for a comedy special; while on The View she tussled with Whoopi Goldberg and then began calling Goldberg “the help” in a subsequent interviews; and now even Steve Harvey isn’t safe.

While appearing on Harvey’s chat show, Mo’Nique ALLEGEDLY got so irritated by Harvey that she threatened to hit him when he told her that she needed to publicly apologize to Whoopi and that’s when she threatened to hit him, and Steve said if she did that, her husband better come out onstage so they could square off.

Mo’Nique? You’re funny and talented, but you’re really angry. Switch to decaf, girl, because one day the punches will be coming at you.

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NeNe Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta has an ego as big as her veneers because she’s now saying that Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump stole PUMP restaurant from her.

Seriously. NeNe went on Jenny McCarthy’s SiriusXM show to accuse Vanderpump of theft though she couldn’t remember her name and started off calling her Lisa Rinna:

“You know I actually said the wrong name. … I meant Lisa Vanderpump. I did not mean to say Lisa Rinna. She knows that we have a little something, something she did to me. I’ve never really addressed it. … She did some real foul shit to me.”

NeNe says she was debating buying the space in West Hollywood that is now PUMP and opening a bar and even consulted restauranteur Vanderpump about it:

“At the time, Greg [Leakes] and I were living in [LA] and I was working on Glee and New Normal. We ride down that West Hollywood area where all the gay bars are—and I have a large gay fanbase—and I kept thinking, ‘It would be so cool if I had a bar right in here somewhere.’ And that space was empty and kind of raggedy-looking and torn down.”

Nene then spoke to Vanderpump about the idea of a bar and says Lisa convinced her not to do it, and then swooped in and bought the place herself.

Right, NeNe, I believe you …especially since PUMP opened almost five years ago and you’re only yapping now. And what might you have called it?  Because I’d rather hang at a gay bar called PUMP than one called LEAKES.

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In what I first thought was an epic joke, I’ve now learned that Tyra “Fivehead” Banks wants to open a theme park called … wait for it … Modelland in the Santa Monica Place shopping mall. Opening this year, the 21,000-square-foot space will be a “fantasy version of the modelling world” and will let visitors “be the dream version of themselves.”

For the love of Balenciaga, it isn’t a joke. And it will crash and burn faster than a Kanye West fashion show.

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Cindy McCain, the widow John McCain, has been a wealthy entitled heiress all her life. The bulk of the McCains’ wealth was always from Cindy’s family. Cindy has a daughter, Bridget, whom she adopted from Bangladesh.

Keep that in mind … in a radio interview on KTAR Cindy claimed she singlehandedly stopped a human trafficking incident at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport:

“I came in from a trip I’d been on and I spotted—it looked odd—it was a woman of a different ethnicity than the child, this little toddler she had, and something didn’t click with me. I went over to the police and told them what I saw, and they went over and questioned her, and, by God, she was trafficking that kid.”

McCain also said the woman was waiting for the man who bought the child to arrive from his flight, but Phoenix police say that, while officers did respond to Cindy’s call, there was no evidence of criminal conduct or child endangerment.

So, Cindy McCain sees a … and I’m guessing here … a brown woman with a white child … or even vice versa … and instantly calls the police? Cindy McCain, a white woman with a Bangladeshi daughter, called the police on a mother and child for merely existing.

Perhaps she and Liam Neeson should hook up and make the world safe from brown people.

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I thought NeNe’s story was the height of incredulity and then Tyra swooped in with Modelland. But neither one compares to this story …at the Grammys this Sunday Jennifer Lopez will be performing a tribute to … wait for it … it’s epic … Motown, the legendary record label celebrating its 60th anniversary this year.

I guess all those artists who were, or are, part of the Motown family, were unable to attend? Or maybe JLo wriggled her fat ass in the front of the line. More ironic is that Diana Ross will be performing at the Grammys as well, but not as part of the Motown tribute.

Seriously.

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Last week Michael Bolton was doing a live TV interview with Australia’s The Morning Show to talk about the release of a new album of hits which have been rearranged with an orchestra and it appeared to the viewers and to hosts Kylie Gillies and Larry Emdur that he had fallen asleep.

No surprise there, his music has also made me slip into a coma.

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I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

This is crazy, but then it’s Taylor Swift so … Swifty hates the paparazzi—or so she says—and so a story emerged a couple of years ago that Taylor was being carted around New York in a suitcase carried around by minions, so she could travel incog-Samsonite. But quicker than you could say Ego Gone Overboard, Swifty’s team made SPIN—authors of the original story—retract it.

Funny though, that now, boy bander Zayn Malik is saying the story as true. While talking about their collaboration on a song for one of those Fifty Shades movies, Zayn admitted that, ahem, “she was travelling around in a suitcase” as a way of avoiding paparazzi.

Cue diss track from Taylor about mean boy banders with big mouths in 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 …

And couldn’t someone just look a key to the luggage? Asking for a country.

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Is former Nashville star Hayden Panettiere being led astray by boyfriend Brian Hickerson?

Her friends think so, saying the actress is partying harder than Lindsay Lohan on a Tuesday afternoon and wondering about the time the police were called to a domestic disturbance involving Hayden, Brian, and Brian’s dad in South Carolina where an ALLEGEDLY Lohan-style liquored up Hayden let the cops in to find Brian ALLEGEDLY beating his dad with a Gatorade bottle. With David bleeding and bruised, police put the cuffs on Brain until Daddy said he’d just fallen down.

In addition, friends say that since Hayden and Brian became the new budget Sid and Nancy, that Hayden’s ex-fiancé Wladimir Klitschko  ALLEGEDLY took their three-year-old daughter to his home in the Ukraine; they also ALLEGE that Brian steals Hayden’s credit card when she’s sleeping and goes on a spending spree.

Still, Brian Hickerson—who sounds like a daddy-beating-credit-card-stealing dreamboat—wants y’all to know:

“Just to be clear, Hayden’s friends and family are not worried about her at all. Hayden is happy and healthy and so is our relationship. That is all I will comment on so please respect my privacy. Have a great day.”

Sounds nice, until you realize that Brian Hickerson is being sued by his credit card company because he owes them $13,000.

The question is, though, how much does he owe on Hayden’s?

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Snoop Dogg wrote a play! Who knew? But this isn’t about Snoop and his play, Redemption of a Dogg, it’s about one of his co-stars, the diva known as Tamar Braxton, who plays his guiding angel in the piece.

At a recent performance in Washington, DC, Tamar disappeared halfway through the show and another actress took her place for the second half.  After the show, the audience was told she left due to “an emergency” but apparently is was because Tamar got hungry during the play and no one had food for her.

The first sign that Tamar was going to be a no-show was the extra-long intermission and the fact that the comedian who opened the show  took to the stage to entertain the crowd during the nearly one-hour intermission. And then, when the show resumed, another actress was playing Braxton’s role.

The fact is that Tamar left because she had asked a friend to bring her a plate of food but didn’t tell security, so the friend was denied; and that’s when Tamar went off … literally … screaming about herself in the third person:

“She’s not here for this … You can do this damn show without her.”

Eventually Snoop tried to calm down the hongray Braxton but she ended up storming out of the building.

Clearly, hell hath no fury like Tamar Braxton being kept from a meal.

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Last year rumors swirled that the least talented Baldwin brother, Stephen, was having an affair with one Ruth Perez Anselmi.

Now, Baldwin denied the affair, but when he was confronted leaving Ruth’s LA apartment, he ALLEGEDLY “recoiled in horror and tried to escape” while shouting at the paparazzi:

“You’re out of your mind, brother.”

And the story might have died down, but then Ruth took her tale of tail to the Daily Mail, claiming she met Stephen two years ago when he came to get a “massage” at the school where she was in “training”. Ruth claims she didn’t know Baldwin—is that a such a stretch?—nor did she know he was married, and claims that during the, ahem, rub-down, he asked:

“Do you know who I am?”

And she said:

“I said, ‘No sir, I don’t care, remove your clothes and get on the table.’ I was thinking, who is this person? He is thinking he’s God.”

Stephen Baldwin? Oh, for the love of the Baby Jeebus. Then, Ruth says, Stephen repeatedly asked for her number and kept coming back until she finally gave it to him. Ruth says she and Stephen hooked up about once a month for a year-and-a-half; they texted … they FaceTimed … she sent him sexy pictures.

And Ruth was only too happy to share it all with the Daily Mail, even posing on the very bed where she and Stephen did the nasty. She says she really liked his anatomy and he was … and this is priceless … the second-best lover she’s ever had. But the thing that threatened their continued trysts? Donald ______. Baldwin is a MAGA man and Ruth was less than thrilled:

“I said, ‘If you like so much Donald _____, call Donald ______ and he can do massage for you.’”

While Stephen was photographed several times coming out of her apartment building, once Ruth appeared at the door in one of Stephen’s t-shirts, to announce that she had had a “Monika Lewinsky moment’ during sex”.

Dear Jeebus. This woman loves to talk, which is good, because rumor has it that Baldwin, a born-again Christian, might be in hiding for a while.

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Last week we learned that Lisa Vanderpump, my favorite Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, was leaving the show.

Now it appears, fingers crossed, that I misspoke because Lisa herself is talking—at her Vanderpump Dog Foundation Gala—and saying not to count her out:

“I haven’t said anything for two months. Now, everybody’s been talking about this. I’ve just been going about my business and doing my things. I am in the show. I have not quit, and if I did quit, it wouldn’t just be a leaked story. I would be upfront, and I have a lot of loyalty to the production company and the network.”

Lisa did admit it’s been a rough year; among the real, or imagined fights with her co-stars, her brother also passed away:

“[It] has been a difficult season … But it’s been a difficult year for me personally, and the season was very challenging. So I’m in a lot of it, but there are some parts I skip, and I think people have seen that.”

But, Lisa says, people need to pay less attention to those “housewives” and more attention to wildfire rescue and puppies.

All much more important, eh? And I am beyond Vanderpumped that she might be staying.

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Paris Hilton is giving her latest ex-fiancé–she’s a perpetual bride-in-waiting—some serious grief … or she’s playing the media for a little fame once more.

Paris and Chris Zylka broke up about a minute ago, and she is ALLEGEDLY keeping the $2 million engagement ring. And maybe she should keep it, because, by all appearances, she paid for it herself to make her boyfriend look good when he slipped it on one of her claws.

See, how does Chris Zylka, who is ALLEGEDLY worth $4 million plunk down exactly half his net worth on a ring for a nearly forty-year-old serial dating ingenue?

Right? Paris.Bought.The.Ring.And they’re still trying to sell it that he did.

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Martha Stewart took an Uber … and, oy, what a time she had!

Stewart took her first Uber ride last weekend after, she says, she ordered “the most expensive version” and it was clearly not Stewart worthy; she says:

“I ordered the most expensive version to pick me up on Fifth Avenue and 57th street in front of Tiffany’s. The first Uber did not show up. The second Uber came ten minutes later and parked halfway down 57th street where I could not see the license plate. Then we were facing east when I had to go west and south. Took twenty minutes to face southwest. It only took a bit more than one hour. On top of it all the car was a mess inside and out!!!!!!!! And I want Uber to succeed!”

And then she posted pictures of her filthy, expensive ride on Instagram.

I’ll give her two things, she’s got nice shoes and she loves to throw internet shade.

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I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

Well, someone finally said … well, at least someone kinda famous said it: Tommy Cruise is short.

Lee Child, the author of the Jack Reacher novels just announced that Tom is too much of a Tiny Tom to play the title character again.

Reacher is described in the books as being almost six-and-a-half feet tall, with hands the size of dinner plates and Tom stands about five-foot-seven soaking wet with lifts in his shoes and hands the size of _____ hands. And Child says:

“Cruise, for all his talent, didn’t have that physicality. I really enjoyed working with Cruise. He’s a really, really nice guy … but ultimately the readers are right. The size of Reacher is really, really important and it’s a big component of who he is. The idea is that when Reacher walks into a room, you’re all a little nervous just for that first minute. And Cruise, for all his talent, didn’t have that physicality.”

Lee adds that maybe if they reboot the Wizard of Oz Cruise could have a shot as the Mayor of Munchkin City.

Or maybe I said that.

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I do love shade, and actress Zoë Kravitz is my new Shadestress.

On an episode Watch What Happens Live to promote Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewald a caller asked Zoë about her appearance in Lily Allen’s memoir My Thoughts Exactly in which Lily claimed she and Zoë partied one night in 2014 and ended up kissing; when the caller asked Zoë if she was warned by Lily about that story, Zoë Mariah Carey’d Lily by saying:

“Who’s Lily Allen?”

And then Zoë told her side of the kissing story:

“If by ‘kissing’ she means, like, attacking, then yes, she kissed me. She attacked me.”

Zoë then said it was portrayed in the book like she wanted Lily to kiss her and that wasn’t the case; and when Andy Cohen asked Zoë if she read Lily’s book, she said—and I love it:

“I don’t think anybody read the book.”

It.Was.Deliciously.Shady.

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According to multiple sources—Kellyanne, Huckleberry and Junior—_____’s favorite child, and Girlfriend-In-His-Head, Ivanka, and the third Missus _____ do not get along. And the drama ALLEGEDLY stems from who was going to get to take that fashion trip to Africa first.

Y’all recall that last month, Melanie took a solo trip to Africa to parade various outfits around the pyramids and small children. But when Melanie’s handlers presented the idea of the Africa trip months earlier, Ivanka’s minions informed them that the First Lady Daughter was planning her own trip, but just hadn’t announced it yet. And so Melanie said:

“I don’t care. I need to get away from Orange Baboon so I go now,”

And off she went, leaving Ivanka , her Chief Minion and Baggage Handler, Jared, and their Lapdog, Miss PittyPatFlippetyFlop Lindsey Graham to plan their own trip sometime next year where Ivanka will model clothes, Jared will play mute, and Miss Lindsey will try on Ivanka’s Manolos.

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It looks like Kardastrophe-adjacent Blac Chyna may just see less coins  now that Rob Kardastrophe is trying to pay less child support for their daughter, Kream …Dream.

After months of fighting over payments, Rob filed papers demanding that the20K he pays a month to Chyna be reduced because he “can no longer afford these orders” since, wait for it, Chyna filed domestic violence claims against him. Rob says.

“I have not participated in the filming of any episodes [of KUWTK] since this summer when [Chyna] filed a request for a restraining order against me. Her request was widely publicized and I was scrutinized by the media … It has been an extraordinarily difficult time for me emotionally and I have no desire to continue participating in the reality show. I would like to maintain my privacy, try to recover from the emotional damage of the past several months, and explore other business ventures.”

Wait; your Baby Mama says you’re violent, so you stop filming your reality show and then cry poor, so you can pay her even less? Bitch, please.

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And so now Blac Chyna and Rob Kardastrophe’s child support fight is headed into Round Three.

It seems Rob wants to pay less money to his baby and Baby Mama because he’s broke; oh, not broke like eating mayonnaise sandwiches without the bread broke, but broke as in even Kourtney has more money than Rob. Court documents show that when during the breakup with Chyna, Rob was forced to sell his lucrative—that makes me giggle just typing–sock line to That Woman.  

Yup, Mama bought the socks and now Rob is claiming poverty and even had to move back into the Koven with her.

And of course, That Woman confirmed all of this because it makes her look good to make her son look like a failure:

“I helped Robert with his sock line business, Arthur George. I infused the business with capital, purchased goods, and set up distribution and fulfillment centers amongst other tasks. In exchange for the work I did and the money I put in, I acquired 50% interest in the business.”

He cannot film his fake show and he cannot sell socks and he’s moved back in with the Devil who bought his business. And I think she got his soul, too.

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I love me some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and am a particular fan of the spectacular Lisa Vanderpump.

Well, ALLEGEDLY there has been some tension this upcoming season between LVP and the other “wives,” and rumor has it she may be leaving the show. Vanderpump has been absent during much of the filming for the upcoming season—she did suffer a death in the family—and some say it’s because there was some spat involving Dorit Kemsley—whom I loathe—and a dog adopted from Lisa’s organization, VanderPups,  and later returned.

Bravo, knowing she is a fan favorite, is staying mum, saying only:

“Lisa will appear in the majority of episodes this season. She has not been filming at every event, but fans can expect to see her throughout. The show will return to Bravo in early 2019.”

But another source—and it could be Brandi Glanville stirring her witches’ cauldron—says:

“Lisa has only filmed on a few occasions during the beginning of filming this season and has been absent the remainder of the time. She has been refusing to film and … her interactions with the ladies have been solely negative. Lisa has still not returned to filming and as of now has no plan to. It’s too far gone, and Lisa agrees that she shouldn’t return at this point.”

I’m’a just say it, if she goes, I go, because I will be VanderBummed.

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For the past ten years, Gwyneth Paltrow has run a multi-million-dollar business saying thousand dollar t-shirts and vaginal eggs to gullible rich women with too much time on their hands and no limit on their AMEX.

But Gwynnie wants y’all to know show she struggled, struggled, to find investors for GOOP because no one wanted anything to do with her special brand of crazy because … wait for it …it’s as precious as anything she sells … she was too famous.

Seriously; she wants people to think that if she was Missus Betty Paltrow from Iowa who came up with an idea to sell shady medical cures and cheap threads jacked-up in price, investors would be clamoring for a piece of the pie, but because she’s an Oscar winner—having won the Oscar Harvey Weinstein bought for her—no one would help.

Siddown, snake-oil salesperson.

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Loose Ends

I loves me some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I LOVE Brit Lisa Vanderpump. I always love a Diva Brit with a rockin' bod and a way with words.

Here are just a few of my favorite Lisa quotes:
On Camille’s dancing: "She was really shaking it and moving it. I think all that’s missing was a pole, really."
On her gay houseguest Cedric: "I was very disappointed to see that under all that dynamite, there’s like a two-inch fuse."
On former childstar and castmate, Kim: "It was all good fun, but Kim seemed much more reserved and much more on the outside. Maybe she went back to Witch Mountain."
On having sex with her husband: "My husband calls me a sex object. He says every time he wants sex, I object. I say to him, you know what? Christmas and birthdays. And it’s your birthday, not mine; it’s another day off."
On Taylor and her husband Russell: "I mean, Taylor’s a bright, vivacious, attractive woman. Evidently, opposites attract."
On setting up Kim on a blind date: "I actually have somebody in mind, but he’s — actually, he’s still behind bars."
LOVE.Her.

Johnny Weir.
He's come out.
Of the closet.
He's gay.
Who knew?
But he's copping to his love for all things men and feather boa in his new autobiography.
Color me surprised.
I kid.
Color me nonplussed.

What about the woman who had a meltdown while the republicans in Congress wasted time reading the Constitution instead of, oh, I dunno, getting to fucking work?
They were reading the passage about the president having to be a natural born citizen, when, from up in the gallery, Theresa Cao screamed something like, "It's people! Soylent green is people!"
Oh? That isn't what she said?
"Not Obama! Not Obama! Help us Jesus!"
Yeah, that's what she screamed before security dragged her crazy birthing ass outta there.

I know reality shows aren't real, but they aren't even pretending anymore. I mean, when someone like Calvin, who doesn't win a challenge, doesn't work well with others, insults his clients, stays on The Fashion Show, it makes me wonder.
And I kept wondering after Casey was eliminated from Top Chef all-Stars this week for her chicken feet.
No, she doesn't have chicken feet, she served chicken feet.
And they were awful.
But, um, yeah, what about Jamie?
Jamie cut her finger a couple of weeks back and left to go to the hospital, leaving her team to do all the work. She came back in time to accept some of the credit.
She didn't get knifed.
Then the next week, she couldn't get her chickpeas soft--and that is not any sort of lesbian sexual reference, I mean actual chickpeas--and she didn't serve the judges any food at all because her tam won before her hard peas were plated.
She didn't get knifed.
Then this week she makes nearly inedible scallop dumplings and overcooked green beans and, again, she doesn't get knifed.
Casey and her chicken feet are sent packing.
Who is Jamie $^%^#^^ing to stay on the show.

Elizabeth Edwards left her ex-husband, John, nothing in her will and people are seemingly in shock.
Let's see.
He cheated on her.
His mistress gave birth to his son.
She divorced him.
He's rich.
I'd be surprised if she left him anything at all, unless it was his balls in a jar.

I saw Bill O'Reilly debating with an atheist the other day, I think his name was David Silverman. Silverman's group is responsible for billboards in NYC, and elsewhere, that call religion a scam, and the use of the word scam offended O'Reilly.
But, what offended me, or actually made me laugh out loud, was when O'Reilly said proof of God exists in the fact that the ocean tides rise and fall each day.
Um, Bill, that's actually the moon.
And, according to Vera Charles, the man in the moon is a lady.

And what about newly elected Florida Republican, Teabagger, wingnut, asshat and fucktard, Allen West who says he hates Obama; hates him. He criticized Obama for going to Afghanistan and having Air Force One land at nice out of concern for the president's safety. He thinks the president should put his life at risk and land in broad daylight like the soldiers do, and yet, he was wasn't the least bit concerned that every single president who travels to a war zone lands at night.
He wants Obama to change that.
And I think maybe Obama should, once Allen West flies his illiterate Teabaggin' ass over to Afghanistan and parachutes from the plane at high noon with a giant red flaming bulls eye tattooed on his large fat ass.

Just sayin'.