PR 18 Ep 14: Finally! The Finale!

TO BE CONTINUED … and no one goes home.

The Final Four is still the Final Four! Big surprise! All of the judges agree that all four designers deserve to present their final collections at New York Fashion Week. But first … edit, edit, edit … Geoffrey; and tailor, tailor, tailor … Nancy; modernize, modernize, modernize … Sergio; and lose the logo, lose the logo, lose the logo … Victoria.

And still take time out to head down to the Council of Fashion Designers of America [CFDA] and take a trip to Mood and pick models and recut, remake, retailer, rebuild your collections.

In.Two.Days. Let’s rip …

TOP FOUR

GEOFFREY

At the CFDA, Geoffrey gets some help from Sara Kozlowski, director of professional development for the CFDA, and Rachna Shah, a publicist KCD public relation, who represent Givenchy, Fenty and Victoria Beckham. They tell Geoffrey to ease up the over-styling, and the lead with his story of the Purple Heart Collection being about strength and survival. Geoffrey hears them and says:

“My mantra for the day is ‘Get it done.'”

At the model casting, Geoffrey nabs Thijin, quite possibly the best walker of the bunch, and models with “otherworldly” kinds of faces for his otherworldly collection. But who cares about that because he also nabbed Taurean Everett, Marquise’s hunky tuxedo model with amazing body. And then we get almost zero footage of him shirtless. I call foul!

Geoffrey wants to alter his purple dress with the sleeve boobs and sleeve dick and bring that back. I worry, because that was a lot of sleeves for no reason at all. He’s also taking some of the baggier looks,  which the judges called shapeless, and giving them some body. Better still, he’s reconsidering the cheeks studs, at least for his female models.

Karla Welch, the stylist who helped in the Upcycle Challenge, is back to assist in styling the finale collections. She loves Geoffrey’s very symmetrical looks and tells him not to go asymmetrical with the earrings; keep it simple. And when he opts for more dangles and bangles and baubles, she reminds him that his collection is very avant-garde and to not add more and more to what is already more.

And then, because Geoffrey overthinks and over-accessorizes, we get the usual meltdown:

“If this is my last show it’s because I need to go get a job. I’m afraid of making some type of mistake. I would never forgive myself.”

I so wanna shake him and tell him that he’s made it to the finale of the PR so that has to count for something. But then, at the show, he cannot find his bag of cheek studs and as his panic starts to rise, and then subside, I think he realizes the universe was telling him something. Less really is more.

WHAT HE SAID

I just feel like I couldn’t have done better. It looks expensive, high fashion and future forward. It’s everything I was hoping for.

WHAT I SAID

I loved the purple puffer with the sexier ‘sleeve’ dress. And I loved the edge his clothes have’ I don’t even mind the sleeve pants on Taurean—goddess, those pecs—because I might wanna put my hands in them and see where it leads. I did feel the second male look seemed like a member of the CDC off to a COVID-19 lab somewhere, and I still think the dresses with the open tops feel like a mistake. As for that last giant puffer, I don’t know if I wanna wear it or sleep in it.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Elaine loved that Geoffrey ‘owns’ his work and his aesthetic; she called his collection “the Billie Eilish take on fashion” and loved his perspective. Brandon said Geoffrey has “the spark of an idea that can grow into something” and says the brocade look moved him emotionally. Guest judge Serena Williams loved the outerwear, and the trench coat—which we learned was a fabric Geoffrey made of paper over neoprene. Nina admires Geoffrey’s “modern” innovation with his use of fabric and volume, but she’s “concerned” that the looks were referential of Rick Owens who also showed puffer coast, albeit floor-length puffers. She did say his work can be commercial, because his big ideas will lead to more wearable clothing. Karlie thought it was “powerful” with details that speak and said he didn’t need the facial studs.

NANCY

At CFDA, Nancy tells Sara Kozlowski and Rachna Shah about her journey of the textile and that she doesn’t have a specific customer or client in mind, but lets the fabric speak first. They both think she needs more focus, and a more defined story of “empowerment.”

At the model casting, Nancy grabs an amputee who uses prosthetics … with Swarovski crystals, no less, and takes DD because they are her muse.

And she takes a wee hint form the judges to lighten up her dark color palette and buys a lighter print at Mood, though I think she used it to make her own finale outfit, and nothing for her collection. As much as we, well, I, dog Sergio, Nancy seems just as stubborn and unbending.

Karla Welch loved Nancy’s messaging but felt the message wasn’t unified in the collection; she also demanded Nancy throw out all her bags and wine totes and superfluous kitschy nonsense.

WHAT SHE SAID

I worked really hard, and it’s paid off. I don’t have a woman in mind, [my clothes are] for people, [and] for this journey there could not have been a better muse than DD.

WHAT I SAID

I loved her fabrics and the way they reflected light, but they seemed a bit stiff and formless. And some of those looks seemed a little too similar, though the last look, with that faux fur coat, was amazing … because of the coat. That said, the jumpsuit and the suit, in prints, were the most tailored of all, and the strongest.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Karlie thought both her clothes and models were inspiring. Nina called the collection a “beautiful moment on the runway with a powerful message about sustainability and inclusion that proves it can be fashionable” and loved the short purple dress with back draping. Elaine dubbed it “low-key spiritual” and raved about the faux fur coat. She also admired Nancy’s ‘come from behind’ journey to The Tents. Brandon appreciated that Nancy thought of how the fabric would look under the lights but wanted more structure … a bustier … something. Serena also wanted more construction and seaming and tailoring; she thought it all similar and simplistic.

SERGIO

Sergio was told to ‘fuck’ his collection up, and so we’ll see how that plays out.

At CFDA, after hearing his “message” Sara Kozlowski and Rachna Shah wonder if it comes through in his ten looks if he doesn’t spell it out on the runway; the short answer is ‘No’. And, again, when he talks about his 46- to 60-year-old client, they tell him not to get stuck on that idea because it limits his buyer pool.

At Mood, he does buy a new fabric for a sweater idea he has but doesn’t appear willing to “farkakteh” it up—and before anyone goes off, that is the correct Yiddish spelling of that word. Christian again calls his looks a little bit county and notes that one of his form fitting white gowns looks “like underwear, but not in a cool way.” And he admits to being scared about the amount of alterations he has to do and for a brief moment seems almost humble.

But then Karla Welch appears and while she loves his looks, though doesn’t quite see the message in them, she suggests he change a fringe jacket to a t-shirt and he says, “that’s not the planet I live on.” But then humble Sergio reappears, and he says he’ll do it, though he turned it into a sweater-style, see-through mesh turtleneck because a t-shirt is so not Sergio.

And the universe, to prove its point that Sergio not take himself as the only expert in the room, at the very last minute, before the final runway, sends a hole to the elbow of that last-minute sweater-style, see-through mesh turtleneck.

WHAT HE SAID

It’s such an emotional experience seeing the collection in such an amazing space. It’s coming to life on the runway. The looks are super chic with a twist of modernity.

WHAT I SAID

The first look is nightgown, followed by country,  and off-the-shoulder-country, and mirror ball and drapery and a gorgeous embellished gown, followed by more country, and then a Bollywood dream dress and the ruffled showstopper which was gorgeous. And none of it said polar ice caps.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina thought his collection was “the most skilled execution and polish” and loved the off-the-shoulder baby blue number; that said, she also felt his looks were “frozen in time”—maybe that was the ice cap reference—and hoped for a more relaxed version of the collection. Brandon encourages Sergio to take more risks and give more than gowns because in coming years all people will come to Sergio for are gowns and that does not a long career make; he did love the last minute sweater-style, see-through mesh turtleneck. Elaine loved his color story and the collection, especially the sheer ‘Bollywood’ number, but wants  Sergio 2.0. Serena loves classic design, so this collection was right up her alley, while Karlie did say it was “technically” perfect.

VICTORIA

Victoria’s stubborn streak also gives Sergio a run for his money; she listens; she says she hears; but then she goes her own way, and that might not be good.

At CFDA Sara Kozlowski and Rachna Shah like Victoria’s signature details, the pleats, the proportions and layering, but they’re also worried about her brand appearing everywhere; a brand is earned. Victoria says she will take the advice, but then might have too much work to do to remove the Kheops off her clothing.

Her stubborn streak also reared its head at the model casting when she wanted to grab all the beautiful girls before anyone else had a chance; I was surprised, though, when she took a model who was missing ana rm because that was so in Nancy’s wheelhouse, but cynical me thought maybe she took her so Nancy couldn’t?

Christian sees Victoria putting her looks in order and tells her he hates a white knit dress—that never made it to the runway—and the cheap boots paired with it. And Karla Welch wants Victoria to dial back all the accessories, the different shoes in different colors, but says she loves Victoria’s last-minute look.

WHAT SHE SAID

I don’t want to close my eyes for even one single minute. I want to see everything…in my collection. It’s me. It’s myself. It’s my aesthetic. It’s my color palette.

WHAT I SAID

Beige. Hats. Pleats. Oh my. Bo-ring. And the branding! And that pop of lime green appearing just twice; in the second look it looked like a designer butcher’s apron to keep the blood off your hideous beige dress. Now, the hot pink trench was hot, but was not at all new or innovative. And the glittering hoodie I just loathed. But then that last dress; simple, and chic and elegant and without a stitch of branding. Perfection.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina says Victoria has a good “grasp of proportion and silhouette,” and she liked the pink leather dress with the cutouts. Serena loved the cutouts, too, though on the second look, and called the beaded jumper “unique”—Serena-speak for ugly?? Elaine says Victoria creates “fresh” looks that women want, but again loathed the abundance of branding. She did love the Look-In-A-Day white gown, though, as did all the judges. Brandon thought that was the only look in her collection that made a point, while Karlie again told Victoria she needed to learn to edit.

I was waiting for the calling of a name followed by a “You’re out,” but Karlie just said the winner was the person who pushed fashion forward:

Geoffrey Mac!

I wasn’t thrilled by any one designer’s collections. I thought Nancy and Geoffrey had some really nice pieces, and thought Sergio’s looks were … ahem … well-made, if dated. I didn’t like Victoria’s collection at all because it was a lot of the same and then two dashes of color and something entirely different. That said, I’m glad Geoffrey won, because I think his ideas can be mainstreamed for those who don’t want sleeve pants or puffer coats as big as a Mini Cooper. I’d wear a big long puffer coat and turn heads all over Smallville.

And Geoffrey, even though he’s much younger than Nancy is the oldest winner—at 42—in PR history! And the cheers from his fellow designers who had been eliminated all through the show, proved even they thought he deserved it.

Now …the men. Taurean Everett was back and they didn’t show him fully undressed? I have lodged a complaint with Bravo. Designer Fernando Garcia was back and looking hot in the crowd. And both of Nancy’s sons were very handsome indeed. I scoured the internet for pictures of them, but my efforts failed. So, look at Taurean and Fernando.

LINES OF THE NIGHT

Geoffrey, after his win:

“All the counseling in the world wouldn’t have done what ‘Project Runway’ has done for me. I’m gonna take four days off … in a row.”

And then he calls his dad, who is thrilled at his win.

Christian, to Sergio in Mood, saying he’ll make a modern sweater:

“So, you took some advice? That’s good. That’s a first. We made a breakthrough. It only took the whole season.”

Yup.

Elaine, as Taurean Everett walks the runway:

“Yessssssssss. All right.”

Elaine? I love you gurl, but step back!

Nancy, when Taurean came to the model casting:

“Oh, how can we forget? The six-pack … or eight-pack … or ten-pack. Whatever that was.”

Um, it's mine, Nancy. Mine.

Karla Welch, convincing Geoffrey to leave some accessories off his models:

“Clean! She’s wearing a massive chainmail puffer.”

Words to live by.

Geoffrey, to Christian after a critique:

“I love you, Christian.”

Christian, in reply:

“I know.”

I kinda love Christian, too, in that keep him in your pocket and take him out for advice when you need it kind of way.

Now, for the designers: Sergio’s proposal was sweet, and he appeared almost life-like. I am glad he humbled down in the last two episodes. Maybe after hearing himself on TV, or having people talk about his arrogance, hit home. Victoria? I think she’ll continue to make cut-out power suits, though she may add crocheted baseball caps to all of them. Nancy? I think if she refines her POV she’ll be able to make a name for herself.

What did YOU think?

PR 18 Ep 13: The Beginning of the End

As we begin the beginning of the end, it’s three months after the last runway and Christian is running around the country like a fool …well. He crossed the country and then came back; still, he travelled.

The designers had $10,000 and five months total to create their collections for Fashion Week. Five months and 10K? I could’a done something Fashion Week worthy with all that cash in five months; well, maybe there would have been a lot of glued pieces and stapled thing, but still …

And then another two months pass and they arrive back in La Grande Apple, where Karlie Kloss meets them in the workroom … with a twist: the designtestants will show the judges three looks from their collections; they can show their best, their favorites, or anything they might want critiqued. And after that last runway the judges will decide if all four show at Fashion Week …or maybe just three …or maybe just two.

This could get painful; let’s rip …

NANCY

First stop is Nancy in Philadelphia. There’s a huuuge lion’s head door knocker that looks like it might have Christian for dinner, but more importantly we learn that Nancy has some coins because her studio is in a separate apartment right next door to her home.

Nancy is organized beyond belief, which is shocking when you consider how she worked all season, and always seemed to be a last minute kinda gal. There are  compartments and spreadsheets and calendars and … a life-size cutout of Christian that says: "Amazing!" I.Love.It.

Nancy wants to do an all-inclusive—she’s designing another look with a wheelchair-user in mind—zero-waste wearable art with a lot of liquid-look fabrics. Christian likes the fabrics and silhouettes, but wants her to pay attention to the fit, and avoid going overboard. He thinks she needs a more streamlined piece, that’s well executed.

Best part of all is that Nancy lives right next door to the “Rocky” steps in Philadelphia, so she asks Christian to run them with her … and he does!

In New York, Nancy opts to wow the judges with her three looks; she’ll show her wheelchair look, one of her liquid fabric looks, and a very tailored suit in a bold print.

And a bag to hold a box of wine. Goddess, she is too much, and too much fun.

WHAT SHE SAID

I love the wonderful fantasy skirt and the dramatic transition from skirt to cape. Pure beauty. I love the tailored suit. It’s one of my strongest pieces. And the fabric [on DD’s dress] is magical.

WHAT I SAID

I like the adaptable look but felt her first attempt during the season was more effective. I love the suit; who knew Nancy could tailor? And DD’s dress is stunning, but I’m kinda over the neck wraps.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Elaine thinks the styling could be more modern, especially on the second look; it does read a little “head for business bod for sin,” and that ain’t good. Steven Kolb, president and chief executive officer of the Council of Fashion Designers of America [CFDA], likes the adaptability look, but thinks the skirt needs work. Nina loves the fitted suit—who knew Nancy could tailor—but is worried that the bold print is too much for that one look. Brandon loves the wine purse, though he thought it looked like a bird, and no one liked like the “tamale wrapper” around DD’s neck; when it comes off, they like the look a lot better.

SERGIO

As we—and Christian—meet up with Sergio in New York, we learn that Sergio’s newest political theme is global warming and the melting of the ice caps; and he will show this by doing looks progressing from frozen white ice to melted dark blue ocean waters.

Okurrrr? I’m not seeing it, and when we learn that Sergio is “growing” his own leather in the guest, er, cat’s bathtub, I’m glad I can’t smell it. I did, however, see it, and it looked a little like a decomposing body in the tub.

Just sayin’. Christian likes the melting ice color palette—though the leather is making him ill …literally—but thinks some of the fringe details make it all seem a little more “saloon girl” and less glacier. But, as happens with Sergio, he won’t listen to Christian—or will he? …

“I’m going to probably stick to my guns.”

Guns? Westerns? Six-shooters? I’m sensing a new political theme: Westworld is real!

After the critique, Sergio takes Christian to soccer practice where Christian notes the hot guys and then goes for a scone instead. To be fair, Sergio had promised boys in short shorts, but they were all in leggings because it’s cold, so I’d have sat down with a pastry and cocoa.

And then he’s back in NYC and, wait, what? Sergio didn’t just ignore Christian’s remarks about the fringe, he went and fringed up a lot of stuff. He took what Christian said was wrong and kinda costume-y and worked it in everywhere; Victorian saloon girl meets global warming? Huh? What?

His three pieces to show the judges include some negligee looking thing that was so sheer the model’s underwear was showing through, some Annie Oakley looking cowgirl dress with fringe and a flirty skirt, and a dress that weighs about fifty pounds due to what looks like mirrors and about a thousand miles of fringe.

WHAT HE SAID

I feel like I have a very clear point-of-view in this collection. I put my heart and soul into every single look [and] it has the weight of the world on the collection and something that needs to be talked about.

WHAT I SAID

He said the first look was solid like ice, but it’s sheer and nekkid? And the second look is very saloon girl and how does that play with melting ice caps. Now, that last look is gorgeous, but again … global warming?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Steven Kolb doesn’t think the global warming theme comes through in the clothes; but then Sergio’s political messages never do. Elaine tells  Sergio to stop bouncing around between political themes and pick one and do it consistently; she does love the ethereal first but calls it too sheer and lingerie. Nina thinks the three garments are “gorgeous,” but calls the styling “dated;” she adds that she doesn’t know many women who are looking for these kinds of designs. Brandon bluntly tells  Sergio that he needs to “f*ck it up,” and to edit; don’t show every technique he knows on all of his looks. Karlie agrees, telling Sergio to “reel it in.”

VICTORIA

Christian travels to Los Angeles to meet Victoria; he clearly doesn’t know LA because he arrives in a leather coat and pants; oy!

Victoria has made a lot of progress on her collection; she’s using traditional Moldovan patterns and has created her own logo. That last bit has Christian worried because, who is she and why would anyone want her logo on their clothes? He’s also worried at how little cohesion there is between her looks. He tells her she needs to simplify her looks and maybe lose twenty or thirty of the accessories she’s created.

And then we meet Victoria’s husband, ex-soccer player and current beefcake truck driver, Dan, and their son, Christian, who is none too thrilled with Christian. Dan left a successful soccer career to move to the US with Victoria, so winning the show would mean Dan could quit his job and they could keep the family together.

It was sweet; and Dan has some killer legs.

Anyway, back in NYC, Victoria has revised most of her designs, but she’s still giving hats and gloves and purses on every look; and that damned logo … KHEOPS … is still there.

WHAT SHE SAID

I think my embroidered blouse and pleated pant is my strongest look. And the tan pant suit is very Victoria.

WHAT I SAID

You may not get the reference, but the tan suits seem very Beverly Hillbillies Miss Jane Hathaway to me; but I love that fuchsia coat. And that hood on the sequined piece is kinda White Supremacist Oscars, or something.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina is worried about the colors … it’s a lot of beige … and the fit; though she thinks Vitoria was smart to do separates, she urges her to tailor some pieces, like the lopsided cropped jacket. Elaine thinks the glittery jumpsuit looks cheap and needs to fit better. Steven Kolb likes the crocheted caps and thinks they should be Victoria’s signature. Brandon feels Victoria’s branding is premature for her in her career. Karlie is unimpressed and thinks the handbags are unnecessary.

GEOFFREY

Last stop is Geoffrey, in Brooklyn, and he’s a mess, which is kind of expected.

During the 3 months off, he tore his meniscus while skateboarding, and broke up with his partner. He even took another job while recovering from his injury — working with Zaldy to do “The Little Mermaid Live” costumes, so he has sketches and ideas—lots and lots of ideas—but very little done.

Christian points out that he has really only just begun, and asks Geoffrey who will wear his looks; who will buy them? Christian and Geoffrey talk through his ideas and then Geoffrey says:

"I definitely took Christian's advice to heart—everything he said—which was 'get to work.' So, I got to work."

Um, yeah, I said that, too, Geoffrey!

Back in NYC, nerves still frayed, voice still quivering, Geoffrey does  stand up for himself and demands he get Thijin as one of his models. But that was his only decision; he has no idea how to decide which three looks to show and keeps changing garments on his models.

Christian wants to see Geoffrey first because he hasn’t seen anything from his collection yet and he’s shocked that Geoffrey hasn’t tried any of his looks on real people.  And then there’s the dress with sleeves hanging everywhere, including from a breast. That worries me. As does all the puffer coats that he’s stuffing with feathers in the workroom.

He’s planning on showing two very similar puffer looks, and one look that, to me, feels like the model’s blouse has popped open. It’s all different, but is it too different?

WHAT HE SAID

I definitely pride myself in my design aesthetic. I pride myself of staying off of trends. I go big, bold and loud. These looks represent me as a designer.

 WHAT I SAID

Thijin has a hot body and can slay a runway, but he covered her in fabrics. And that second look? I feel like the top is splitting open and some beast action is about to occur. The third look? Yeah …I’m kinda feeling it… even the dick pants.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Brandon thinks he needs to work on how to better showcase metal mesh, a hard fabric to use, and says Geoffrey’s looks are cheap and overdone; he likes the tops, but feels like the bottom halves don’t measure up, literally and figuratively. Nina thinks Thijin’s puffer jacket needs to open into something beautiful and slinky. Elaine loved the giant mustard puffer with the  octopus pants but calls the black dress “shapeless” and “not flattering on her body.” Steven Kolb agrees there’s not enough shape or sexiness in his looks.

The judge’s critique and then tell the designtestants that perhaps not all will show at Fashion Week.

As Karlie prepares to deliver the news, we get …

TO BE CONTINUED…

I loved Christian Siriano’s fashion show. I love that he designs all sizes because U remember him in his season being upset at designing for bigger models; he’s evolved. And I loved that he showed menswear, too.

After speaking with Christian in New York, I loved Nancy getting choked up because Christian liked her work; and I loved Geoffrey hugging her. Sweet.

I loved Victoria asking about “khaki” and pronouncing it “cocky,” and then saying to Sergio that cocky is what everyone thought about him.

That said, I was pleasantly surprised that Sergio was less of an ass; perhaps seeing himself on TV and hearing the shiz that fell from his lips week after week, may have taught him a lesson.

What happened to Brandon’s retro black framed nerd glasses? I did not like this new pair!

LINES OF THE NIGHT

Nancy, on Sergio being cocky:

“I think he’s been misunderstood … [sigh] … Yes, he has said some crazy things.”

Nancy should work at the UN.

Christian, to Sergio, and his leather body:

“I would like to look at clothes and not organisms.”

Never mind the smell.

Christian, walking in LA:

“What a lovely day in California. We’re outside with the wilderness…[swats away a piece of dander] … Wilderness.”

He’s such a city queen!

Geoffrey, on his accident:

“It got me seats on the subway.”

Always look for the silver lining.

Christian wearing Geoffrey’s gigantic puffer coat was the height of hilarity; he looked like an enormous blueberry.

And after seeing all their homes, I wanna be an untapped designer with a fabulous workspace. I mean, Nancy’s next door office! Sergio’s loft! Victoria’s backyard cottage workroom! Even Geoffrey’s Brooklyn walkup would be nice.

And Nancy, the mom, vacuuming the workroom to keep it clean of Geoffrey’s feathers.

So, The Tents. I think Nancy and Sergio, for sure, with maybe a spot for Geoffrey. But I think Victoria’s looks may have done her in unless the whole thing was cooked up by the producers and they all four show.

Who do YOU think will show next week?

PR 18 Ep 12: Avant-garde, Final Six! Avant-garde!

Immediately after last week’s episode the designtestants are herded back to the runway to await the return of Karlie, who brings Brandon, er, Captain Obvious, with her; he declares:

“You are the final six.”

Yeah, they were the Final Six last week when no one went home so this isn’t news; but I digress … this is the week many of them—well, not Brittany—have been waiting for: the avant-garde challenge. Karlie explains that avant-garde literally means ‘ahead of the pack,’ ‘beyond the norm.’ And since it’s beyond the norm, this final runway show before The Tents will take place at The Vessel …not a building, but, well, stairs … to nowhere … really.

Nancy, who lives beyond the norm, and won last week, gets to pick her model and then choose the order for the others to pick. She, naturally, takes DD, and gives Sergio the next choice; he picks Yuen. Brittany picks Severine. Marquise takes Nora, and Geoffrey picks Thijin. Victoria is picked last, chooses the last model standing, Madeline. Victoria thinks getting picked last means the other designers are scared of her.

Oh, honey, no.

They have two days to work, an hour  at Mood, and $600 dollars. But there is a twist—and evil Christian loved springing it on them—that turns out to be a pleasure: each designer will pick two of their former looks to also show in a kind of mini-collection/retrospective.

It’s a lot, so let’s rip …

TOPS AND BOTTOMS

VICTORIA

Victoria isn’t avant-garde, she’s one-note, but this time she’ll be different. This time she’s making a backless organza romper that’s attached to the model’s ear—yes, you read that right—and not one, but two coats.

How daring! And to achieve her own fabric choice she’s literally cutting out over a million square fabric pieces and sewing them one-by-one onto organza.

Christian doesn’t quite understand her look—two coats and ruffles and oh my—and calls it Lord of the Rings; he tells her to push it and reminds her that two designers are going home:

"I am not going home; don't even say this word in front of me!"  

Home. Hope.

Victoria picks her two extra looks—and her looks are always extra—from the Ultimate Upcycle challenge and the Sew 80’s week.

WHAT SHE SAID

It’s an avant-garde look … very wearable.

WHAT I SAID

Wearable? Wearable? Or does she mean where-able, as is where am I able to wear this?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Brandon thinks the champagne color was smart because of how it played in The Vessel, though I doubt that was a specific choice. He loved how Victoria created a more “romantic” and less cut-out-skin-tight-one-arm-power-suit look; and while he wondered about the “fish-hook breast hammock” he said that if the model sat down and a boob fells out, that’s avant-garde. Karlie loves the back of the coat, er, coats, and  their “structure” and the “fluidity.” Elaine didn’t think the earring attachment worked and “over-complicated the design;” she says it wasn’t her fantasy look. Guest Judge Rachel Brosnahan agreed, saying it wasn’t her favorite, but did like the silhouette and the texture.

SERGIO

Can we just skip him? No? Really?

Sergio will create a look to honor female samurai warriors and will tell an “amazing political story.” Maybe he can explain the juxtaposition between female samurai warriors and the geisha make-up since geishas were basically women hired to, um, “entertain” men.

There will be a big skirt—seen it before—and wild sleeves—seen it before—and some weird things growing out of her back—that’s new. And then, just to make you like him even less, he says:

“All these designers look at what I’m doing because I always set a really high bar for everyone and I feel like I push all of the other designers. My biggest competition is right here.”

He points to himself. Goddess help me, I loathe this person. But then he nixes his big sleeves because he’s looked at the other designers and many are doing big sleeves; huh? I thought he set the bar.

Christian likes the samurai warrior idea. That’s all; no need to discuss because Sergio knows better.

Sergio chose his two winning looks from the Paper Week and from the Sheer challenge.

WHAT HE SAID

I am just in awe of what I’ve created. I feel like I  always do a bit more than everyone else.

WHAT I SAID

I like it, but his ego keeps me from loving it.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 

Elaine was “haunted” by the “theatrical” image of the model in the Vessel elevator, and says his tailoring is “a cut above the competition.” Nina was haunted by the fact that she has seen Asian-influenced looks before from famous designers, specifically the hair and makeup. She wants Sergio to stop referencing other designers and do his own thing; I think she also wishes he’d shut up. Brandon agrees; he thinks Sergio’s craftsmanship “cannot be denied,” but he needs to be a better “thinker” … and less of an arrogant asshat; that last bit was me.

BRITTANY

Brittany is not thrilled by this challenge because she thinks in more utilitarian ways and not at all avant-garde.

Her idea is a coat; bold and pink; and big; and pleated; with crazy sleeves. I get the idea that she thinks the bigger and bolder and crazier it is, the more avant-garde it appears. Not. Especially when she makes the coat over a very simple dress with a butterfly motif, and will then make 3D butterflies all over the coat and … this is exactly what she did for the Ashley Longshore challenge, so it’s just a reboot in ginormous pink?

Oddly enough, Christian likes the look—even the butterflies—but worries that it’s looking like “a pink straitjacket.”  She loses the attached sleeves and ignore the pleating and butterflies the shiz out of it.

Butterflies; again. And even worse, is that she chooses her simplistic black look from the first challenge, and her butterfly embellished look from the Longshore week. Not smart.

WHAT SHE SAID

I took what I do in an avant-garde way to the max. I took a risk.

WHAT I SAID

It’s a giant hot pink sheet over a butterfly sheath dress. Ooooh, risky.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 

Elaine loves the color and the shape and the drama. Karlie was “wowed” at the Vessel, but up-close notes that the execution is somewhat lacking. Rachel also loved the color—which doesn’t avant-garde make—but didn’t care for the basic dress beneath it. Brandon wishes she’d paired the coat with jeans instead of the dress, while Nina called the plastic butterflies “kitschy” and said “detracted from the sophistication” of the rest of her look. No one noted that this was the second time in the season Brittany used 3D butterflies on a look.

GEOFFREY

Geoffrey is inspired by the Vessel—his favorite “building” in New York—and because avant-garde is his thing. But then, at Mood, he tries to pick the same satin he used last week, the one Elaine called “stiff and tacky;” luckily, Christian snatches the swatch from Geoffrey’s hand:

“They will murder you.”

And that frazzles Geoffrey, and a frazzled Geoffrey at Mood worries me; especially a frazzled Geoffrey that ditches the satin and heads to the latex aisle. Satin to latex? Latex?

Christian’s worried about the latex until Geoffrey explains that he owned a latex company and has done work for Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Katy Perry.

“I can make latex do stuff that nobody else can, I’m very good at it.”

He creates a sculpted top, with architectural sleeves, a flowing latex train and … a granny panty? And yet it all works. He proves that latex doesn’t have to be skintight but can have fluidity and structure. He tells his model, Thijin, that to get latex to shine you smear it with water-based lubricant. Thijin has never seen lube before so Geoffrey sings a song about it:

“It’s a gay staple. Can’t have sex without it—well you can, but …”

And then the good times end, because once again Geoffrey has tragedy strike; he pricks his finger—we go from lube to pricks, which is not a far walk—and gets blood on his garment:

“Blood is avant-garde, but I wasn’t really planning on it … I’m not into a blood print right now.”

And later, he cuts his hand again, but soldiers on, using tape to secure the wound and avoid the paramedics. He gets the blood off his look, and his hand, and then picks his Cyndi Lauper look and the jumpsuit from the tuxedo challenge as his two looks.

WHAT HE SAID

My looks are future forward. The latex looks like liquid.

WHAT I SAID

I gotta say, this is latex like I’ve never seen it; it’s structured and fluid and skintight. Gorgeous.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Elaine said the latex moved in a “poetic” way, loved the light shining through the attached skirt. Rachel liked the bold shape of the top and the minimal bottom. Nina is studying him, arms crossed, lips pursed, ready to pounce; and she does. She says it’s “tragic” that this is the first time Geoffrey has used latex this season because it’s “beautiful.” She also notes that while some designers stumbled, he seems to have gotten better each week. Brandon thought this look “matched the location” the best, but it was “very Land Before Time.” The other judges have no idea what he’s talking about and they gang up on him, as Geoffrey squeals:

“Get him, girls.”

NANCY

This challenge is Nancy. I mean, most of her looks this season have an element of avant-garde to them; she just needs to get it together, so she isn’t tossing fabric on her model at the last minute.

She’s going sheer, again, and horsehair, a lot of horsehair, again, to make a structured piece that is reminiscent of the Vessel. That’s her idea; nothing more. As she waits for the fabric to speak to her, I think the fabric is shrieking, Pick a f**king idea! And Christian is also worried that she needs to decide where she’s going so time doesn’t get away from her.

“Is it a top? Is it a skirt?”

It’s sheer and horsehair and even her model, DD, wonders what they’ll be wearing down the runway. Nancy has her own pace and her own method, and takes her time—which is not good on the PR—and as she sits at the sewing machine at the end of Day One, she announces:

“I’ve just put my first seam in.”

And Geoffrey, like a good gay soldier, replies:

“Semen?”

Not hardly; he’s the one with the lube.

Nancy chooses her Sheer Genius and Cats of the Urban Jungle looks as second chance looks.

WHAT SHE SAID

I really think the judges are going to get who I am.

WHAT I SAID

I like it but it’s very similar to her Sheer look.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID 

Rachel likes the drama and the movement and can tell it’s inspired by the Vessel; it’s one of her favorites. Elaine loved the architectural and sculptural elements, and now understands who Nancy is as a designer. Karlie notes how similar it is to Nancy’s sheer challenge look, but calls the way it was  manipulated “wearable art.” Nina is “not completely floored by this” and said the head piece looked like a “black cloud;” she says Nancy missed the opportunity to use the light and color of the Vessel to its full potential. She does love that Nancy has a passion for design.

MARQUISE

Marquise is excited for avant-garde because he comes from the ballroom world where fashion is an anything goes kind of thing.

And to that end, he’s making chain link pants, and they are heavy AF. Brittany says they’re too heavy, and Victoria thinks they’re fine; one or both of these women is a saboteur.

Marquise removes some of the chain links from the pants, even though Christian loves the idea. But Christian worries about the cropped jacket with its pointed shoulder detail. He shows Marquise how they look folded over, and Marquise totally agrees.

We do learn that Marquise’s brother was shot in a nightclub, and that he gave Marquise money to go to New York and make his dreams come true. It makes me like Marquise all the more.

He chooses his winning Tuxedo look—but cannot get the hotter-than-hot Taurean Everett back to model—and There’s Only One You design as second looks.

WHAT HE SAID

All of my looks have that masculine-feminine vibe.

WHAT I SAID

I’m sure about the jacket, but I love that pleated shirt.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Brandon calls the pants “really cool” but feels Marquise needed restraint with the coat. Rachel thinks the proportions are “slightly off” while Nina likes it better without the jacket—which she called Tin Man—and said Marquise over-complicates the process. With the jacket removed, the look is so much better, proving that you should listen to Nina. Karlie loves his raw talent, and thinks he’d be great with some mentoring, and both she and Elaine think he could bring a great menswear vibe to the finale.

It’s clear that Butterflies Aren’t Free and aren’t enough to get you to The Tents; Brittany’s out.

Latex, however, is really in this season, and so ids Geoffrey, becoming the first finale designer. Nancy is also in, which was a surprise, and so is Victoria, which is a shock.

Then it boils down to Sergio the Ego and Marquise the Raw Talent. I hope for a Marquise win because his POV would be cool, but in the end, the judges give the last slot to Sergio.

I will be using my Remote-Control Mute button a lot, I think, next week.

I’m glad Brittany is out; I was never really a fan and those damn butterflies really pissed me off this week.

I mad that Marquis is out because he’s adorable, and, most of all, because I love his aesthetic. So many of his pieces I would like to have, and his show would have been edgy and cool.

As for who wins The Tents? Geoffrey, I hope … or Nancy … or Victoria. But please, for the love of Coco Chanel, not Sergio. I won’t be able to stand his self-congratulatory speech.

Shock?  Nancy and her husband met on a golf dating site. Let that sink in …a golf … dating …site. Golf? Dating?

I absolutely love Elaine Welteroth, especially in that glittering mirrorball gown. I love her critiques, and I love her facial expressions that often say more than her critiques. She’s giving Nina a run for her money.

That said, I adore Nina Garcia; I love her eye, I love her snark, I love her side-eye, and her shrugs, and her bowed head and crossed arms that say so much more than all the other judges combined.

I love the Vessel; it’s very cool, very architectural, but, really, it’s stairs.

Note to producers: when Marquise picked his Tuxedo look to show again, y’all should have moved heaven and earth to get Taurean Everett back; and I say that again here so I can post his picture again. Deedles? You’re welcome.

I loved Brandon being scared of heights, going up the stairs and then coming back down! Cute.

LINES OF THE NIGHT

Christian at Mood, on the use of duchess satin:

“I’m gonna cut you all.”

And I think he will.

Brandon, to Elaine, who liked Geoffrey’s look but not Victoria’s:

“I am shocked that a latex panty moved you more than a breast hammock earring.”

Breast hammock!

Brittany, on why she chose such a bold pink:

“It’s the epitome of me … jolting.”

I don’t think she meant it the way I took it.

Next week: home visits, and Sergio’s cooking up something in the bathtub.

Dear Goddess.

What did YOU think?