I Should Be Laughing: RBG

Showing posts with label RBG. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 09, 2024

Sunday, May 08, 2022

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, John Cole, Kevin Kallaugher, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Ed Hall, Benjamin Slyngstad, Ted Littleford, Gary Markstein, JD Crowe, Lalo Alcaraz, Marc Murphy, Darrin Bell,

Thursday, January 07, 2021

One day at the grocery store Carlos asked if I had a shopping list. I told him that since we only needed a few things, I made a note on my phone of what was needed. He didn’t know how that worked, so I showed him.

Cut to New Year’s Eve day. We’re at the grocery store again buying things for Carlos’ New Year’s Day dinner—Leg of Lamb, Mashed Veggie Potatoes, Brussels Sprouts and Chocolate Cake … que delicioso—and he had created a list on his phone. Before leaving home, however, I added a couple of things, one of which, as I typed it into his phone, was “bubby.” You know, for a midnight toast.

At the store we went about our business and got all the things we needed and then, just before checking out, Carlos says:

“Forgot something, I’ll be right back.”

I wait, and he returns with a Boboli pizza crust.

“What’s that for?”

“Uh, it was on the list! You wrote it … ‘bubbly.’”

“Yes, honey, ‘bubbly’ as in champagne, or Prosecco, not bubbly as in Boboli which is a pizza crust and not something you toast the New year with.”

“Oh … should I put it back?”

Happy New Year!

Tuxedo once again nails the inherent racism of our current Racist-In-Chief. He, like his Daddies, is so ready for January 20^th.

Just before Christmas, the West Hollywood City Council decided—three in favor, two against—to rename the local West Hollywood Library after late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Why anyone would vote against this is beyond me, but idiocy does abound. In addition, renaming of the library is not finalized by the vote; the Public Facilities Commission must weigh the proposal before the official decision is made, and since the library is part of the LA County library system, which means they would have to confer with them to make the change.

If finalized, the name would become the Ruth Bader Ginsburg West Hollywood Library.

Do the right thing.

According to reports from Prestwick airport near Donald _____’s Turnberry Resort in Scotland that they are to expect the arrival of a US military 757 aircraft, that is occasionally used by _____, on January 19 fueling speculation that the Impeached, One-Term, Lame-duck Loser will skip Joe Biden’s inauguration and instead flee to Scotland.

Good, I say, except … earlier this week, due to a second- or third wave of COVID, Scotland has closed its borders.

I’m kinda thinking Scotland made that up to keep the con man out of the country.

Failed ReTHUGlican congressional candidate George Santos took to social media over the weekend to whine and cry that both he and his fiancé and their four dogs were forced to flee their home, and that his fiancé, a pharmacist, lost his job, after the New York Times published an article stating that Santos had attended _____’s maskless New Year’s Eve gala at Mar-a-Lago.

Sorry, Superspreader, not sorry.

And speaking of Superspreaders, former TV star, and religious wingnut Kirk Cameron hosted a large gathering on a California beach on New Year’s Eve to pray “for our nation,” defying that state’s stay-at-home orders and marking the third time in several weeks he’s hosted or attended such an event amid a surge in coronavirus cases.

Cameron was joined by dozens of people at Point Mugu State Park in Ventura County for a “Sunset Singing and Prayer Event” and said:

“We are inviting you to join us in prayer for our nation. If you want to wear masks, we welcome masks. If you If you want to spread out with your family, there’s plenty of room here. Remember, you’re in charge of your healthcare. Use wisdom, common sense and good judgment with that.”

Put it in God’s hands then, and if any of you get sick, talk to God about healthcare and leave the doctors and nurses and hospitals for the people who do the right thing.

Now, I have been drunk in my life; really, really drunk. But I ain’t never been this drunk …

Thomas Dodd, a bar worker in the U.K. got so sh*t-faced over the holidays that he legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

Seriously. How drunk you gotta be for that? He now says:

“During lockdown I’ve been watching a lot of live concerts on the TV. I can only think I’ve been watching one of hers and had a great idea after a few drinks.”

He believes that, while he was drunk, he went online, filled out the form to change his name, and paid the 89 GBP ($120 U.S.) fee and then forgot about it when he woke up. Several days later, he got paperwork in the mail that said that he had legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

His one worry: that he doesn’t get pulled over by the police for anything.

That’s his one worry? Perhaps he needs to add binge-drinking to the list because Celine Dion also ordered a snow machine while drunk.

Carlos and I are huge Jeopardy fans, and were saddened upon learning last fall that Alex Trebek, who’d been battling pancreatic cancer, had passed away. We heard that he wanted his final shows to be aired and this week is the last five. Monday night, with just a few days left to live, he opened the show with this:

“You’ll recall that about a month ago, I asked all of you to take a moment to give thanks for all of the blessings that you enjoy in your lives. Now, today, a different kind of message. This is the season of giving. I know you want to be generous with your family, your friends, your loved ones. But today, I’d like you to go one step further. I’d like you to open up your hands and open up your hearts to those who are still suffering because of COVID-19. People who are suffering through no fault of their own. We’re trying to build a gentler, kinder society and if we all pitch in—just a little bit—we’re gonna get there.”

Hearing this from a man battling cancer, and who was in his final days, is both chilling and heartwarming.

Trebek’s final episode airs tomorrow night and will include “a special tribute to the life and work of the man who captained America’s Favorite Quiz Show with skill, style, and sophistication for 36+ years.”

RIP Alex.

This is Christian Reniery Santamaría. That name alone makes me tingle. Christian is a retired Honduran football/soccer turned model. But he’s not your ordinary twenty-something model. Christian is forty-eight and hotter than men half his age.