I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Oh Jussie. Former Empire actor, and Gay Boy Who Cried Wolf,  Jussie Smollett ALLEGEDLY had a sexual relationship with one of his ALLEGED ‘attackers,’ Ambimbola ‘Abel’ Osundairo.

Apparently, the couple, before Abel ‘bashed’ Jussie for some of his Empire coins, used to party together and go to a Chicago bathhouse to, um, well, bathe?

Oh Jussie, you don’t hire your sidepiece to ALLEGEDLY beat you up for sympathy press and a bigger contract for a TV show. Everybody knows that.

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This doesn’t look odd at all … Bruce Willis is self-isolating with ex-wife Demi Moore, and his three oldest children and their boyfriends and Demi’s assistant rather than self-isolate with his current wife, Emma Hemming, and their two young children. A source—Demi, no doubt because, seriously, what else does she have to do—says:

“Demi and Emma are close, and all three get on great as a big blended family. There are no issues at all. Emma needed to stay in L.A. with the young kids.”

Emma had to stay in LA while Bruce chose to stay with Demi? Uh huh; look, maybe it is all kumbaya in the Willis-Moore-Hemming household, but still  Bruce chose to self-isolate with his grown kids and not his younger ones?

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Some JLo juice? Okay … for whatever reason, Jose Canseco is still trying to convince the world that Alex Rodriquez is a cheating on JLo.

It all began last year, when Jose was watching World of Dance and Lopez, who at the time was newly engaged to A-Rod, and this annoyed Jose who claimed A-Rod was having an affair with his ex-wife Jessica Canseco—which Jessica has denied. Sadly, no one cared about Jose’s claims, but that hasn’t stopped him.

So, since no one cares—and let’s be clear, this will be another notch on JLo’s headboard and she be divorced from A-rod … if they ever marry … quicker than you can say How many times have you been married?—Canseco took to Twitter to wish:

“Happy Easter to everyone except Alex Rodriguez.”

Ooooh, burn. I love grown-assed men acting like thirteen-year-old girls. But then Jose followed that up with a message directed at JLo herself:

“Jennifer Lopez I have something to show you for your eyes only you will not regret it please contact Morgan at 702 374 3735”

Okay, first things first, who the fuck is Morgan? And how many Twit-heads tried calling him or her? And lastly, what the fuck is wrong with Jose Canseco? Did the steroids cause him to turn into a mean girl?

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It looks like one Anna Wintour won’t make Ricky Gervais’ Naughty List because Anna wants y’all to know that she has taken a pay cut during the pandemic.

Conde Nast, publisher of numerous magazines including Vogue, decided to tackle the COVID-19 situation with pay cuts and reduced work hours. CEO Roger Lynch is taking a 50% pay cut in an attempt to keep the company afloat, and a “temporary” pay cut will affect 10 to 20 percent of employees, but only those making $100,000 a year or more. It will go into effect May 1st.

Wintour—who ALLEGEDLY rakes in about $2 million a year—and I thought it’d be more—is included in the temporary pay cut group and will see her salary will be decreased by 20%.

Yes, people, Anna will have to make do on $1.6 million. I am starting a GoFundMe at once.

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Blac Chyna. Gurl. Did you learn nothing from Tori Spelling trying to use the pandemic to make people pay her to be on social media with them? Or, are you just that stupid?

Rhetorical question. You see, Chyna is selling FaceTime calls for $950 and social media follow backs for $250.

I wouldn’t pay this talentless miscreant social media whore 2 bucks to follow me home with my groceries, but it is funny to think that Chyna thinks she’s worth $950 on social media and Tori wanted just $95.

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After learning how hard Sam Smith has it in their London mansion, or how Justin Timberlake is struggling to raise ONE kid in the middle of a gated luxury community in Montana, or how Ellen feels like she’s living Orange Is The New Black But This Time In A Montecito Mansion … now we have Justin Bieber, and his streetwear model  wife, Hailey Baldwin, along with their BFF, Kendall Jenner, in an Instagram livestream talking about how important it is to acknowledge their privilege during these trying times.

Hailey hovers in the background making duck faces while Justin lets everyone know how blessed and rich they are, and they shouldn’t feel bad for it since they “worked” hard for it. Yes, while millions are out of work, and millions more have no healthcare, and thousands upon thousands are dying each and every day,  Justin and Hailey sit in their mansion and spew shiz like:

“How blessed are we to be able to like… a lot of people obviously in this time have a crappy situation. You know, they look at us and obviously, we’ve worked hard for where we’re at, so it’s like, you can’t feel bad for the things we have.”

At which point Kendall chimes in:

“[We’re] so blessed. I think about it all the time.”

Cut to the chase: this is what celebrities look and sound like when they get no attention. And to sit in your mansion and talk about how lucky you are because you worked so hard seems to imply that anyone without a mansion and servants and privilege doesn’t work hard at all.

The greatest payback would be for people to remember how these asshats acted, and when all this is over, stop buying their idiotic music or watching their stupid shows or, and this will kill these media whores, stop following and liking and sharing.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Justin Bieber is an entitled little douche with little discernible talent other than being a spoiled, self-indulgent prissy little queen. Whoosh. That felt good.

He’s also a bit of a coward.

See, Miss Justine likes to start trouble in clubs—the ones that let underage girls in, that is—but then turns tail and runs to his bodyguards when things get rough. And they hoist him onto their hip, take him out to the car, strap him in his car-seat and give him a binkie till things die down.

Last week, at South Pointe in Southampton, Miss Justine showed up at 2 AM and immediately threw a tantrum because a bunch of drunks wanted his picture; I mean, you’d have to be pretty trashed to want a picture of that whiny brat, amirite?

So Miss Justine’s ‘team’ of bodyguards, to, you know, protect their paychecks, began shoving the crowd and shining flashlights in their faces so the cameras couldn’t capture Miss Justine drinking from a bottle … of formula.

Then, when a female clubgoer tried to chat up the Biebs, and he got all chest puffy, her male friend and Justine exchanged a few heated words: “He (Bieber) ripped his shirt off and went nuts. He was screaming,” says the source—AKA Dina Lohan. “Security moved in, and Bieber was taken from the club out to the parking lot, where his SUVs were waiting.”

And his nurse, who put him down for a nap, after changing his dirty diaper.

I do so love a good catfight, and no one knows how to do it better than Joan Collins.

I mean, she’s at least a 100, right? And still kicking off her mules and taking off her earrings and getting into the dirt …. with Shirley Jones, best known as Shirley Partridge from The Partridge Family.

Yeah, that Shirley Jones.

It seems Jones wrote a memoir where she claims that she and Joan nearly had some kind of torrid foursome in the 1960s and Joan says it never happened; she’s ranting to anyone who’ll listen that she is not some ‘porn-watching swinger pervert and never was, and now she threatening Jones.

According to the book, Shirley and her then-husband Jack Cassidy were at the home of Joan Collins and her then-husband Tony Newley for dinner … and after dinner, Tony proposed they all get naked and watch porn together. Shirley writes, “It was clear what Tony was leading up to — swinging.”

But, Shirley says she turned down the offer, and now Joan is accusing her of libel. Collins sent Shirley a cease and desist letter, demanding her new book be removed from stores everywhere, but Shirley’s NOT backing down. She says the story is true and she’s standing by it.

Old women arguing over group sex and porn. Who’da thunk it!

Lindsay’s in New York, y’all. Lock up all the clubs and tell the psychics to stay indoors!

But, one place you won’t see Lindsay is in Europe. After announcing upon her exit from Rehab Stay #7 that she would be headed to Europe for a vacation, Lindsay has suddenly changed her mind.

Or, she had it changed for her.

It seems Oprah has ALLEEGDLY talked Lindsay out of a European Vacation.

See, O is sure Lindsay will relapse if she goes and O just cut Lindsay a check for $2 million for a reality show docu-series, and O wants it to have a happy ending, with Lindsay clean and sober, not coked up at a hotel in Cannes; again.

Sidenote: It was all over the media yesterday that O was saying she knew this time Lindsay will stay clean, but if you listen to the actual quote, O says, “I think she thinks this time will work.”

O’s hedging her bets ….

Looky here, two more grande dames of the cinema having a catfight.

Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis. I bet they get down and dirtier than Collins and Jones did.

The two aging he-men have appeared in The Expendables, which spawned a sequel, with plans for a third installment. My kinda movie: wrinkly old men as action heroes.

Willis’ part in the first film went uncredited, but he signed on for the second one, and he was supposed to do the third but it seems like he wanted a bigger piece of the Grampa Action Hero money so he was replaced by that other aging action hero, Harrison Ford.

And Sly likes the idea, Tweeting: “WILLIS OUT… HARRISON FORD IN !!!! GREAT NEWS !!!!! Been waiting years for this!!!!”

And then following up with this jab at Willis:  “GREEDY AND LAZY …… A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE.”

And before anyone could say he didn’t mean it, Stallone’s rep confirmed he was talking about Willis.

I wanna see a tag-team match, Collins and Stallone versus Willis and Jones. That’s an action movie I’d see.

Now onto Kimye.

All has been quiet since Kim’s baby, Child Support Check, was born, and even Kanye, who never stops talking, has been gloriously silent.

But rumor has it that Kim is only being quiet because Kanye is so controlling, you know, like he says, ‘Don’t talk to the press or I’ll move back to Paris with my boyfriend’ or ‘Stay away from the paparazzi or I’ll move back to Paris with my boyfriend’ or ‘Stop making that face or I’ll move back to Paris with my boyfriend’.

Oh yeah, ALLEGEDLY.

But it seems that Kanye has been controlling each and every minute of Kim’s life these days, and some are saying that she is ALLEGEDLY “walking on eggshells” — and staying away from cameras — to please her Baby Daddy’s ego.

A source — and you know it’s Kris Jenner, the Biggest Pimp In The World — says, “Kim has been trapped by a madman who’s doing his all to control her every move. She knows the littlest thing can set him off. She knows not to push Kanye too far … she’s doing her best to keep him happy.”

And if that means Kim is staying away from the press and not whoring herself and her baby, Child Support Check, out, then I say, and I never thought I’d say this, Thank you, Kanye.

And now for news about a different Kardastrophe … Khloe.

In recent weeks, it’s been ALLEGED that Khloe’s husband, Lamar Odom, had a nearly year-long affair with a woman named Jennifer Richardson; in fact, Richardson, as women who schtup married basketball players and then find themselves alone are apt to do, sold her story to the Star; but, she had plane tickets, game tickets and other receipts as evidence of the affair, so maybe ….

And then we learned that Khloe actually confronted Jennifer courtside at one of Lamar’s games and told her to stay away from Lamar. For his part, Lamar tried to claim that Jennifer was just a groupie and that they had nothing going on. So, that ALLEGED relationship is said to have ended in February, which may explain why Richardson whored herself to the Star, but now there’s another woman who claims to have had an affair with Lamar.

Polina Polonsky, a lawyer … how’s that for high-larious … claimed that she was Lamar’s f**k-buddy for about six weeks — around the same time Lamar was staying at the Roosevelt Hotel because Khloe had kicked him out of their house for schtupping Jennifer — and she says Khloe and Kris conspired to harass and intimidate her: “I was under the impression that he had left Khloe, and that’s why he was living at the Roosevelt. He acted completely available and we definitely had a mutual attraction.”

Of course he acted available, that’s what adulterers do. Their flirtation escalated during, um, meet-ups, not hook-ups, at the Roosevelt, and then finally, on June 13, the pair made sweet sweet adulterous love: “After we had sex, Lamar stayed the night with me. The next day we went back to the Roosevelt. I stayed there with him for the next couple of nights.”

It wasn’t long before Khloe found out, and, grrrrl, she wasn’t happy. On June 21, while Polina was at her apartment, Khloe and her pimp, Kris Jenner, ALLEGEDLY stormed the Roosevelt to confront Lamar and his lover. According to Polina, Lamar told her that, while looking for him, Khloe and Kris banged on the door of the wrong room and when there was no answer Khloe broke the door down.

Well, that heifer is powerful, you know!

So Lamar, disgusted and a’scurred by Khloe’s behavior fled to Polina’s home and stayed there for nearly two weeks, hiding from his wife. Then, on June 25, Polina says Khloe and Kris came to her home: “I couldn’t believe they found where I lived and came to my apartment! They were knocking on the door, but Lamar refused to answer …”

Khloe eventually left to film her reality show, but later on, when Polina and Odom were schtupping again, Khloe also showed up at that room at the Vagabond Inn … let that sink in … The Vagabond Inn … tacky ass motel.

At 5:30 AM Khloe started banging on their love shack door, sreaming, “Open the door now, or I am calling the police!”

“I told her to leave, but she refused. I called the front desk and asked them to call the police because I was so scared, but no one ever came. While Khloe was screaming outside the door, Lamar was calling people to come and get her. She was out of control. The whole scene was so frightening — and I couldn’t understand why we were hiding, because he made it clear that he didn’t want to be with her!”

Eventually Polina says Lamar opened the door for his wife and: “Khloe charged into the room and began swinging at me…she tried to attack me! Lamar had to grab her by the hoodie and pull her back. She is way bigger than me. It was terrifying. Lamar took her into the hallway, and I shut the door for my own safety. I could hear them screaming at each other, and I kept banging on the door telling them to leave before they got arrested. As soon as they left, I left — I couldn’t stay there after all the craziness.”

As the Immortal Nene Leakes would say, Close your legs to married men!  Close your legs to married men! Close your legs to married men! Close your legs to married men!

Now, onto those other wacky adulterers, Simon Cowell, and his f**k-buddy, and wife of his former friend, Lauren Silverman.

It now seems that Cowell has been schtupping his buddy’s bride since 2009, according to a source — :::cough cough::: Dina Lohan — who says, “Lauren has loved Simon forever. And they started having an affair four years ago.”

The relationship began as a casual fling, you know, a man in a tight T-shirt, smelling like an ashtray, screwing his friend’s wife, but now with a Baby On Board, Cowell and Silverman are just aglow.

But, as much of a scum-sucking, bottom-feeding, can’t keep his pants zipped, or his dick gloved, ass that Simon Cowell can be, his future Baby Mama, Lauren, is a cunning … I was gonna say linguist … bitch. See, Lauren and her husband had a pre-nup, in which she’d get $4 million if they stayed married for ten years.

Guess who got pregnant by her hubby’s buddy right after anniversary Number 10?

Uh huh ….

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

So, there was the story this week of Blister Palin’s White Trash Son calling his auntie Willard a ‘faggot’ and it got me to wondering: where do people learn how to act? Oh, from their parents; this explains Lindsay Lohan.

See, Dina Lohan and her brother Paul Sullivan ALLEGEDLY walked out on a dinner bill for more than $2500 this past weekend. It seems that Dina set down the box of wine long even for her and her brother to accept four complimentary tickets to new East Hampton restaurant, Andrra, to watch the Great Bonac Fireworks Show and aid the nonprofit Clamshell Foundation, which supports local health, cultural and education projects.

But Dina and Paul didn’t come with two others, as their four tickets suggested. No, Dina, possibly too drunk to read the invitation showed up with a party of eight, and started eating and drinking and cussing like sailors and banging busboys in the bathrooms and then walking out on the bill.

A source—and it may be Ali Lohan trading gossip for food—says, “They dined and dashed on a $2,500 check and didn’t leave a dime for the waiters. The understanding was they would get four free tickets. Anthony stormed up at the end and said, ‘What is this check for?’ Organizers offered a reduced bill for around $1,100, but then they just upped and left without leaving a tip. When organizers later phoned him to demand payment, Sullivan said, ‘My celebrity clients were not happy.’ ”

Andrra owner Rich Silver confirmed that Sullivan and his party left with an unpaid bill but declined to comment further, but Sullivan says, “This is a total lie. My written and verbal agreement with Rich Silver was to comp dinner for 8 to 10 guests, six people ate. There was not to be any bill. Then you get a bill for $2,500? [And] Dina was strictly invited as a guest and had nothing to do with paying anything. This is totally false. There is no bill to pay. I paid $500 for drinks, and I will wire a tip tomorrow.”

Oh, so this is where Original recipe gets her sense of entitlement; well, that and the California judicial system which has given her, apparently 10 strikes, before she’s jailed.

But there’s more…..because Dina loves to run her mouth.

Dina Lohan is furious over accusations that she skipped out on the bill and she’s telling anyone and everyone who will listen that she believes the restaurant where the event was held is dragging her name through the dirt to garner publicity for themselves.

Yeah, they wanna be known as the Dine’n’Dash place.

Dina says, “I was asked to come to this charity event at the last minute and it sounded like a great cause. My brother was involved so I went. I was never given a bill, so I never ran out on anything. Everyone at the table was meant to be comped. The weirdest thing about it was I was invited for a sit down dinner, I did attend the party but I never even ate. I would never in my wildest dreams walk out on a bill or try to avoid paying a charity.”

But you did Dina. See, you were invited but you brought seven other people? Do you not get that? And you probably didn’t eat because you were giving a handie to a dishwasher back by the dumpster when dinner was served.

Sidenote: I loathe Dina ever since she picked my pocket at the Friday’s in Times Square back in 1991, but, um, doesn’t she look years younger than Lindsay?

Must be the chardonnay…..

And, speaking of Lindsay……

You know the cracktress is working again, no? Yeah, she’s got Liz & Dick in the can, or maybe it’s just Dick in the can because I often forget how she rolls these days, and now she’s busy shooting a porn movie, The Canyons, which will be re-titled , before release, Firecrotch Canyon.

And her director, Paul Shrader, has gone all Facebook gaga over Lohan, writing: “Seven days in, first full week completed. Lindsay Lohan is a huge fan of Hollywood glamour and performances from the Golden Era. Working with her every day on varied scenes I’ve been making a mental checklist of classic movie performances she’s touched upon. There’s has been a lot of Ann Margaret, some Gena Rowlands and Faye Dunaway and of course some bits of Liz Taylor and Monroe as well as a little Rita Hayworth and….Oh yeah, and Angie Dickinson. And Lee Remick. And Shelley Winters.”

Um, Paul, you didn’t mention the star she most seems like, Mister Ed.

Now, that horse’s ass could act!

Oh, Oprah, when you fall, you fall hard. Possibly because you’re huge. But you also fall stupid.

In order to shore up the sagging ratings of that money-pit she calls OWN, O is making all sorts of new shows starring, well, O. And one in particular, “Oprah’s Next Chapter: This is what India is like now,” is under fire because of the stereotypes she uses in it about the Indian people.

Oprah may have charmed her Indian audience when she made a brief appearance at the Jaipur Literature Festival, but her shows on the country have left some Indians less than thrilled. See, Oprah really played up the stereotypes about the country: the incense! The Curry! The strapping on of a Sari! How happy the millions who live in the slums seems and how fabulous to be a part of the Bollywood elite! The arranged marriages and the fact that Indians, even rich ones, “still” eat with their hands.

Oops. O. Not good.

 “The avg American thinking of India as a place with snake charmers and elephants as main mode of transport, I can understand. But Oprah???” says Nandita Iyer on Twitter. “Honestly, this Oprah winfrey has made such a royal fool of herself with this.”

Shouldn’t used the word royal because that’s all she heard, and she’s now telling people she’s Indian royalty.

Commentator, Gargi Gupta, described the first episode of the television show, with pictures of “roadside cows chomping on garbage and roads choked with traffic,” as just some aspects of the show that may make Indian viewers “groan.”

But, the show wasn’t a complete write-off for Gupta; she found the Big O’s approach tactful when she asked slum dwellers about their hopes and fears, and said, “It suggests a respect for human sensitivities that television anchors in India… would do well to learn.”

Most, however, weren’t happy.

“Myopic, unaware, ignorant and gauche. This was Middle America at its best worst,” wrote Ms. Sen of the show’s first episode. She found O’s comment on Indians still eating with their hands particularly offensive. “I don’t know what people in America are eating their hot dogs, pizzas and tacos with but perhaps Oprah’s home has evolved cutlery for all that.”

Oh honey, O don’t need cutlery. She doesn’t feed herself! She’s slopped six times a day with cakes and cookies, and maybe, if Gayle got lucky hunting, a whole pig.

So, we know that Demi Moore’s daughters are less than thrilled with Mama Moore since she dumped their Brother/Daddy Ashton and started being all Red Bull and Whip It, and being hospitalized and sent to rehab.

But now Demi’s ex, the girl’s daddy, Bruce Willis has stepped into the fray.

And Bruce is firmly entrenched in the “the girls are spoiled” camp, which begs the question, who spoiled ‘em Bruce? Did they do it all on their own or did they have the help to two absentee, narcissistic parents?

Since Rumer, Scout and Tallulah distanced themselves from Mama to get away from her emotional meltdowns, Bruce has let them know their behavior is unacceptable. He’s been calling them spoiled and selfish, and says he doesn’t understand why they are turning on their mom when, for the most part, she’s been an incredibly supportive parent.

Um, maybe it’s the drugs and the Red Bull and the insanity, and maybe they’re gonna try a little tough love?”

While the girls supported Demi through the split from Ashton Cheater, and her stint in rehab, now they feel she should get it together on her own. Bruce, however, feels differently, and will be playing his trump card if the girls don’t start being nice to Mommy.

No.Mo.Money.

And if he cuts them off, they will all be in serious trouble because not one of them works or has managed to save a dime of money they were bathed in as children. They all rely on Bruce and Demi to pay their bills, which means, well, Bruce will be “paying” his daughters to be nice to their mother.

Lovely. All-American family.

I loathe Gwyneth Paltrow as much as Madonna loathes hydrangeas. I mean, she’s always played herself as the Grande Dame of American Cinema because about twenty years ago Harvey Weinstein bought an Oscar for her subpar performance in a subpar film.

And now, well, Gwynnie thinks she can sing. And I imagine there will be a run on ear plugs. [Note to self: call the broker and buy stock in all ear plug companies]

After she filmed Country Strong and recorded some songs for the film, Paltrow was on a big I’m a singer now kick. She was suddenly all over the TV, singing on Glee and the Oscars, the Grammys, and, well, really anywhere with a microphone, including the hostess stand at Applebee’s.

But that was so 2011 so I thought it was over.

But I guess Gwynnie is jealous that hubby Chris Martin, and his band, Coldplay, will be performing at the Olympics in London this month so Paltrow wants to book secret gigs in pubs.

Cuz folks’ll need booze if Gwynnie starts wailin’.

But, funnier than the fact that Paltrow thinks she can sing is that she wants to invite her VIP pals, including Jay-Z and Beyonce, to sing with her. Now, I know Beyonce and Jay-Z are publicity whores, but even they would draw the line sat singing anywhere with Paltrow.

Right?

Over the past decade or so, Kate Hudson’s acting career has progressed from promising, Oscar-nominated, and Goldie daughter, sweetheart, to queen of the predictable, they all look alike romantic comedies. In fact, her last one, A Little Bit of Heaven, went straight to video-on-demand.

So, now her biggest acting gig is shilling skin cream on TV. Huge star. Huge. But, um, who does Kate blame for her fall from real actress to salesperson for Oil Of Olay, or whatever?

Scarlett Johansson.

Yup, Kate is ALLEGEDLY furious that Scarlett has suddenly made it so big as a result of her Black Widow role in both Iron Man 2 and The Avengers that she commands $20 million for the next Avengers movie. And what else can decimate a star’s ego like watching a rival’s stunning career success.

Nothing.

Scarlett and Kate’s rivalry began years ago, when they were competing for Justin Timberlake—man, I can still smell the desperation and closeted homosexuality—but now that Scarlett’s career is going up, and Kate’s is, well, mostly on TV selling creams and lotions, Kate is in the middle of a jealousy-fueled comeback that she hopes will dethrone Scarlett as the queen of Hollywood.

Queen of Hollywood? Oh, honey, the Queen of Hollywood is Elton John, but I digress.

A source—and I think it’s Goldie—says, “It’s incredibly petty, but she still bitches about Scarlett to this day. Every time Kate gets an endorsement deal she Googles to see Scarlett’s deal so she can compare. Kate hasn’t had a major hit in ages, but she’s letting it be known that she’s ready to break out of her mold and become the It Girl in Hollywood again.”

First step, Kate, is to stop picking stupid movies where you play the same blond loon. And stop doing commercials. Why would I pay to see you in a movie—and in the interests of fairness I never have and never will—when I can see your face in the skin care aisle of the local Rite-Aid?

PS Is it me or do these two look alike? Or maybe they use the same hair stylist, you know, the one who doesn't own a comb?

Just sayin’.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Seriously. He doesn't die easy.
And now Bruce Willis has entered the cologne contest--unbeknownst to him ALLEGEDLY--and created his own, er, scent, which I think would smell a little like a bar mat after an especially raucous Friday night.
But LR Health & Beauty Systems, a German beauty company, thinks men want to smell like Willis, and has released a collection of colognes in honor of the actor.
“I personally feel that the new Bruce Willis fragrance is the manliest scent in the world,” Tilo Plöger, COO of the company, said of the product, which contains hints of grapefruit, pepper, and vetiver.
Grapefruit? Pepper? And WTF is vetiver?
And why would anyone think I'd wanna smell like that?
The "Willis Collection" includes hair and body wash; deodorant; aftershave balm; and eau de parfum. And the product's tagline?

Smart Guys Live Forever.
This is the same actor whose most recent films were Surrogates and Cop Out, so it's unclear if the motto is referring to Willis himself.

I tend to think not.

It worked for Paris Hilton, and, well, if you're Lindsay Lohan, who else but Paris would you look to for life advice?
It seems that Lindsanity is already looking toward the future; you know, those days after her stint in jail, and her stint in rehab....AGAIN! She is ALLEGEDLY shopping, er, whoring herself out, for a post-prison interview, and she'll sell her sad story of being abused by the legal system, and that she doesn't do drugs, and that she works with children, to the highest bidder.
I have already offers $1.23 for the interview. Fingers crossed, I'm still waiting to hear.
The bad news, for me anyway, is that Lindsay will ALLEGEDLY accept not one penny less than a million bucks in cash.
Or crack.
Or booze.
But, working against Lindsay, like the fact that she's a serial drug abuser, alcoholic, and pathological liar, is that most reputable news sources, and I'm not talkin' 'bout you FOX, won't pay for interviews, so Lindsay might just shop her story overseas.
But, and this is where it gets wacky, er, wackier, is that Lindsay might offer up some of her prison poetry, and some home movies, that the networks would have to pay licensing fees to use, and then Lindsay would get her money.
Or crack.
Or booze.

Ah, remember when Mel Gibson was every girl's, and every gay boy's dreamboat?
Now, he's just a douchebag.
Having vociferously, and vehemently denied for over a week that he never punched girlfriend and baby mama, Oksana Grigorieva, in the face, new evidence has been uncovered that he may well have done just that.
A new audio recording--seriously Mel, you need to stop talking--has surfaced in which Mel admits to smacking Oksana, and he even says she "deserved" it.
On the recording, Oksana is heard asking Mel, “What kind of a man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face? What kind of a man is that?”
To which Mel, ever the righteous religious father of eight--seven with a wife, and one with a mistress--says: “You know what — you fucking deserved it.”
Now comes word that Mel Gibson is being investigated for domestic abuse.
Maybe he and Lindsay can have adjoining cells.

Has-been TV "actor", Jaleel White, who played somebody called Urkel on a show I'd never heard of, Family Matters, is under investigation for allegedly hitting his baby mama.
The mama in question, Briget Hardy, claims that while they were driving on Pacific Coast Highway two weeks ago, White punched her in one of her breast implants, and that when they got home he slapped her and pushed her into a toilet so hard that the tank broke.
Hardy filed a report with the LAPD, but says she suffered no injuries, except for the damaged loo.
A rep for White--and am I the only one who finds it odd that out-of-work actors have "reps"--said: "There was absolutely no battery … no abuse … and the incident never happened. This is just a ploy in an ongoing custody battle over their young daughter to tarnish his name."
Lovely parents indeed.
Him, if he hit her.
And her, if she's lying just to get custody.
And folks, we all know that kids are better off with straight parents only.

Meanwhile, back at Lindsanity:
You all saw the picture--and it could have been photo-shopped, although Lindsay is just that emotionally stumped top pull such a trick--where she had painted the words fuck u on her fingernail before her probation hearing.
Well some say she might just pay for it.
NYC Public Defender Stacy Schneider--out for her own fifteen minutes of fame--says that if Lohan's message was aimed at the court, "it would be a separate charge for contempt...[and]...she could have an entire extra sentence heaped on top of her current one. If the judge were angry enough, it could run even consecutively.
LA Public Defender Greg Apt--not wanting to be left out of the spotlight either--adds: "The judge could hold her in direct contempt, which could be between three to five days in jail for vulgarity."
It makes one wonder about the professionalism of Lohan's team of lawyers, and how they could possibly have missed Lindsay latest bout of infantile behavior.
No wonder her attorney, who uttered the immortal line that Lindsay was treated unfairly by the courts, has resigned as her attorney.

Filed under: Comes as No Surprise:
The American Idol Tour sucks. Big time.
After a year of record low--for them--ratings, and the news of Simon Cowell jumping ship for his own talent show, comes news that the American idol Tour is cancelling shows left and right because no one wants to see them.
Organizers behind the Idol Live! tour are wrapping up the show sooner than expected, and have cancelled eight concerts. Rather than end their tour on September 16th in Portland, Maine, as planned, the tour will now take a two-week break, and then have the final show in Indianapolis.
i blame Lee DeWyze.
And Lindsay Lohan....just because.