Meme Dump

I Didn't Say It ...

Pete Buttigieg, Transportation Secretary, explaining why he regularly appears on Fox News Entertainment:

“The reason I do it is because I think it’s important … to meet people where they are, and recognize that I can’t be mad at somebody for not embracing our message if they’ve literally never heard it. The more one-sided the news network is, the less likely [its viewers] will have heard [Democratic messages], unless I literally go there and share it. And I think it’s especially true in this election, because I know a lot of folks who watch Fox News and count on Fox News [and] I want [Fox News viewers] to at least have heard that, maybe more often than they would have [otherwise]. I know veterans who watch Fox News. I want to ask them to consider the difference between a ticket, led by somebody who faked a disability, getting a doctor’s note, taking advantage of him being a teenage multimillionaire so that he wouldn’t have to go to Vietnam … compared to, a ticket led by the administration that delivered the PACT Act that made sure that veterans who I served with in Iraq and Afghanistan [and were exposed] to burn pits, get the cancer treatment that they need. I always visualize people who I know who I disagree with and who are just maybe tuning in. I don’t think they’re going to see me on Fox for five minutes and see the light and suddenly become liberal Democrats. But I know that we’re having a healthier conversation if they’ve at least heard what somebody like me has to say. Well, you know, each of us has different kind of tactical decisions about where we go and how we do it, but I’m proud to speak on Fox News and other conservative outlets on behalf of this campaign because I believe in this campaign, and I think it’s especially important in places where certain arguments—not even arguments, just certain facts—might not otherwise be aired. I imagine most viewers of Fox News are sincerely unaware that immigrants are no more likely to commit a crime than somebody who was born here, because that’s just not a fact that gets mentioned on their airways very often. So to the extent they’re willing to invite me on there, I think it’s important for me to take the opportunity to share it.”

Again, simple common sense; Pete also does not denigrate the Fox viewers, even if they vehemently disagree because there may be hope that someone listening might change their mind about the Democrats and the Republicans.

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Sigourney Weaver, actor, accepting the Golden Lion Lifetime Achievement Award at the Venice Film Festival, after a reporter asked about how the character of Ripley contributed to the empowerment of women, including Kamala Harris:

"I love that question because we're all so excited about Kamala and to think for one moment that my work would have anything to do with her rise makes me very happy, actually, because it’s true. I have so many women who come and thank me. It's been difficult since 2016 and we’re all very grateful about her. What I appreciated about what [Alien writers] Walter Hill and David Giler wrote and how [director Ridley Scott] put it together was that my character was a person, not a woman, and they're two of the very few writers who can write a script where it's just a person. If you don't have to see her being girly or womanly or any of these other ideas, which are all great [because] women can be everything, but I got to play really what I realize now [was] the everyperson part. She's all of us. She is what you become when you have to find the ingenuity and don't even have time to be brave or anything else and I think of the women all over the world who are on the front lines of climate change and all these crises: It's the women who are taking care of their families, of their children, who are often doing the work. They're on the front lines. I take my inspiration from what I see as an actual woman. We were not getting our due and to me women were always so capable. We are everything so the idea the film world was using the pie and we were like this [raising and widening her arms], Walter and David loved strong women, felt women were strong. That's the funny thing. I'm always asked why I play strong women and I always think, 'What a weird question' because I just play women. Women are strong and they don't give up. You want to know why? We can't. We have to do it."

I do know that it was the first times we saw a strong, determined woman leading the way in a science fiction film and becoming the hero and the savior.

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Tom Cotton, GOP senator, on The Felon’s proposal to have the government or insurance companies cover IVF treatments.

“Well, all Republicans, to my knowledge, support IFV in the Congress. And there’s no state that prohibits or regulates IVF in a way that makes it unaccessible [sic]. It is expensive for many couples, I understand that. So it’s something I’m open to that most Republicans would be open to. I think we’d have to evaluate the fiscal impact, whether the taxpayer can afford to pay for this, what impact it would have on premiums. But in principle, supporting couples who are trying to use IVF or other fertility treatments – I don’t think is something that’s controversial at all.”

Oh Tom, you f**king liar.

In June 2024, Tom Cotton and 46 fellow Senate Republicans voted against expanding access to IVF. Today, Cotton calls that bill “ridiculous messaging.”

He’s a typical lying ReTHUGlican.

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Elise Stefanik, GOP Representative from New York, lying about The Felon’s campaign stop at Arlington Cemetery:

“Look at this past week … this was the three-year anniversary of those 13 service members in Afghanistan, now 13 Gold Star families. And you have Kamala Harris’s campaign politicizing this, not mentioning their names, not taking accountability for that catastrophic decision. She was the last person in the room advising Joe Biden and yet they’re criticizing [The Felon]’s invitation from those families at Arlington. Kamala Harris is a disgrace and we need to make sure she never becomes commander in chief.”

What Elise—who, let’s face it, is the GOP lapdog for the men—isn’t telling you is that the timeline for the withdrawal from Afghanistan was set in place by The Felon, who then used those deaths as a reason to stand on the graves of dead soldiers as a five-time draft dodger and smile while giving us all the thumbs up.

Also, ask Elise and any other Republican including The Felon where they were on the first anniversary of these soldier’s deaths … or the second anniversary. And you’ll realize they showed up this year because it’s an election year and they want to campaign on the dead bodies of soldiers.

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Kamala  Harris, Democrat for President, on The Felon’s tasteless display at Arlington:

“As Vice President, I have had the privilege of visiting Arlington National Cemetery several times. It is a solemn place; a place where we come together to honor American heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service of this nation. It is not a place for politics. And yet, as was reported this week, [The Felon]’s team chose to film a video there, resulting in an altercation with cemetery staff. Let me be clear: the former president disrespected sacred ground, all for the sake of a political stunt. This is nothing new from [him]. This is a man who has called our fallen service members ‘suckers’ and ‘losers’ and disparaged Medal of Honor recipients. A man who, during a previous visit to the cemetery, reportedly said of fallen service members, ‘I don’t get it. What was in it for them?’ This is a man who is unable to comprehend anything other than service to himself. If there is one thing on which we as Americans can all agree, it is that our veterans, military families, and service members should be honored, never disparaged, and treated with nothing less than our highest respect and gratitude. And it is my belief that someone who cannot meet this simple, sacred duty should never again stand behind the seal of the President of the United States of America. I will always honor the service and sacrifice of all of America’s fallen heroes, who made the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of our beloved nation and our cherished freedoms. I mourn them and salute them. And I will never politicize them.”

And that’s how a President responds.

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This Bitch: Tom Cotton

Republican Senator Tom Cotton, who is overly concerned about the alleged loss of masculinity in the world, which is leading to the downfall of America, has refused to confirm the Biden administration's US attorney nominees in Blue states until Democratic Senator Dick Durbin apologizes for interrupting him during a committee hearing last March.

Durbin said Cotton's hissy fit broke with custom, and added that Democrats never held up US attorney nominations during the last administration despite having the power to do so, and said:

"Given the critical role that these US attorneys play in bringing justice to those who violate federal criminal laws, it is hard to imagine that any member of this body would obstruct efforts to confirm these law-enforcement officials. Doing so could threaten public safety and puts at risk millions of Americans' security. It's also a stark departure from what has happened before."

But manly man Tom Cotton maintains that "courtesy and collegiality and respect" need to be a "two-way street" in the Senate:

"If there are not consequences when rules and traditions are breached in this institution, we will soon not have rules and traditions. I have also said that if the senator from Illinois would simply express regret for what happened that day and pledge that it wouldn't happen again, I would be happy to let all these nominees move forward."

Cotton was talking about a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing nine months ago for Vanita Gupta, who was nominated by the Biden administration and later confirmed as an associate attorney general at the Department of Justice.

Durbin, who chairs the committee, interrupted Cotton’s, and other Republicans attacks on Gupta to force a vote, after which she was narrowly confirmed by a bipartisan vote, with Alaska GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski casting the lone Republican vote of support.

And Durbin did apologize for interrupting Cotton but said Republicans forced his hand in their attempt to block a vote on Gupta's nomination by invoking an obscure Senate rule to prevent the committee from meeting after midnight.

And now Tom Cotton’s panties are still so twisted, nine months later, that he is holding up even more votes, so here goes …

I’m sorry Senator Cotton. I’m sorry that a butthurt asshat such as yourself was ever elected to Congress to do the work of the people but stops working because someone made him mad.

Tom Cotton, This Bitch.

I Didn't Say It

Jamie Lee Curtis, on letting go of her daughter’s “dead name’ after she came out as transgender, and what it means to be the parent of a trans child:

“[The dead name] so doesn’t fit anymore. That was, of course, the hardest thing. Just the regularity of the word. The name that you’d given a child. That you’ve been saying their whole life. And so, of course, at first that was the challenge. Then the pronoun. My husband and I still slip occasionally. I think that’s sort of evolutionary and a very important step in our home. We have tried to maintain it in a big way. I’m learning a lot from Ruby. I’m not proselytizing, and I’m not trying to force-feed something to people. I’m simply saying, “This is our family’s experience.” I am here to support Ruby. That is my job. Just as it is to care and love and support her older sister Annie in her journeys. I’m a grateful student. I’m learning so much from Ruby. The conversation is ongoing. But I want to know: How can I do this better?”

And that, ladies and gentle-ladies, is how you parent.

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Lauren Boebert, QAnon nutbag, on Pete Buttigieg’s paternity leave:

“I delivered one of my children in the front seat of my truck. Because, as a mom of four, we got things to do. Ain’t nobody got time for two and a half months of maternity leave. We have a world to save here. The guy in charge of it all [the supply chain], Mayor Pete, was on a two-month maternity, paternity, whatever the heck you want to call it, leave. Okay? The guy was gone. The guy was not working. Because why? He was trying to figure out how to chest feed.”

Actually, he was working, from home, as he took care of his new babies that he didn’t squirt out on the front seat of a rusted pickup parked outside his trailer home where he conceived those same children.

Boebert is a fool and a bigot and a homophobe and, ask yourselves, and then ask her, what work has she done since being elected other than rile up an insurrection.

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Tom Cotton, Arkansas RepubliQAnon Senator, coming for Randi Weingarten—the out gay president of the American Federation of Teachers—because she campaigned for Democrat Terry McAuliffe in the Virginia gubernatorial race.:

“Randi Weingarten is a joke. Randi Weingarten does not even have children of her own. What in the hell does she know about raising and teaching kids? In fact, that’s probably why she was perfectly fine to shut down schools for two years and force kids to wear masks, because she didn’t have to deal with it at home.”

Tom Cotton, giving Lauren Boebert a run for the money as the most ignorant RepubliQAnon in Congress.

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Randi Weingarten, coming right back at homophobic asshat Tom  Cotton:

“Is he now disqualifying every nun from teaching? Or is this simply a new divisive & hateful homophobic slur against LGBTQ teachers? I guess Senator Cotton hasn’t done his homework and doesn’t know I have stepchildren, grandkids & nieces and nephews. They would certainly be surprised by his comments. As would the many students I taught (and loved) at Clara Barton High School in Brooklyn.”

Weingarten points out the obvious, that if asshats like Cotton took even a nanosecond to think about what they were saying, they might realize the ignorance of their own education. Think about the people who choose not to have children. Or the people who cannot conceive. Are they terrible teachers?

But Tom Cotton is a horrible bigoted asshat.

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LeVar Burton, on losing that Jeopardy hosting gig:

“I’d say, ‘No. You’ve got to be kidding me! You’re out of your mind. Goodbye!’ I want to make it clear, for the record, that I’m really happy with the way things worked out. I was disappointed to not get the job, but I’m the sort of person, I believe that everything happens for a reason. And if I didn’t get that job, that meant it wasn’t supposed to be for me, and I accepted that almost instantly and willingly. I know that the opportunities that are in front of me right now wouldn’t have come my way had I gotten the job, so I’m certain that this has worked out better for me than I could ever have imagined.”

What are sour grapes? I kid, though I don’t think he’d have been the right choice. He seemed a little too stiff and rehearsed.

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I Didn't Say It

Phil Murphy, New Jersey’s Democratic governor, lashed out at a group of protesters objecting to mandatory vaccinations:

“These folks back there have lost their minds—you’ve lost your minds. You are the ultimate knuckleheads. And because of what you are saying and standing for, people are losing their life. You have to know that. Look in the mirror! Look in the mirror!”

He also called them the “ultimate knuckleheads” which is the polite way of saying they are dumb AF.

Now, listen to this “knucklehead” …

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Ron DeSantis, Flori-Duh governor, having a hissy fit at a press conference because this darn Delta variant is ruining his campaign for president:

“We obviously have some people that are not vaccinated that have been admitted to hospitals. Are you going to sit there, are you going to sit there, and are you going to sit there and criticize, or we going to try to treat and try to help the folks? You know, I’m just sick of the judgment, the judgmental stuff on some of this stuff, nobody’s trying to get ill here, okay? There’s people that were hermits for a year and a half that wore six masks and did that and still contracted it. Let’s not indulge these things that somehow it’s their fault.”

Um, Ron? Asshat? What are you gonna do to help, rather than head out to Utah and Texas and campaign there?

We know that no one is trying to get sick, but you sure aren’t doing anything to help.

The upside? DeathSantis’ poll numbers are falling faster than a lap dancer’s G-string during Fleet Week. 

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Rudy Giuliani, going all Nixon on us, saying he is not a crook:’

“I committed no crime, and if you think I committed a crime, you’re probably really stupid, because you don’t know who I am. Is the guy who put the mafia in jail, terrorists in jail, Ed Koch’s commissioners in jail, and the worst people on Wall Street — I’m not going to file (a form)? I mean, that’s just crazy. I am more than willing to go to jail if they want to put me in jail. And if they do, they’re going to suffer the consequences in heaven. I’m not, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

I’m guessing that while those who think he’s a criminal and a traitor might suffer the consequences in Heaven, Rudy will be sweating black hair dye by the gallons on a much lower floor.

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Maria Bartiromo, Fox Business host, saying the Delta Variant is a Democrat plot to win the mid-terms:

“It’s all quite convenient with a year to go before the midterm elections. It doesn’t appear the Democrats can win on policy so what are we going to do? Have a lockdown in the summer of 2022 so that we ensure mail-in ballots are flowing from empty parking lots and dead people?”

So this dim bulb is predicting a lockdown for next Summer?

Take a seat, Karen; the Democrats are the ones getting vaccinated and wearing masks and taking precautions while you and your ilk, spread anti-vax lies even though you took the vaccine.

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Tom Cotton, Arkansas GQP senator, bashing Fauci and the CDC and saying we need to trust politicians:

“Let me say, nobody elected the CDC. Nobody elected Tony Fauci to make these decisions. Advisers advise, elected officials decide. And the American people elected Joe Biden and the members of Congress and our governors and state legislatures to make these decisions for us. If you just turn these decisions over to a bunch of public health bureaucrats, of course the only thing they’re gonna consider is what they think is in the best interest of public health.”

I wonder if Cotton realizes that he has now admitted that Biden won the election. He was so caught up in saying we need to trust the likes of Tom Cotton over science and scientists, that he put his loafer in his piehole.

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Ben Carson, at CPAC, saying welfare is worse for the Black community than slavery:

“When you look at what the Black community has been through, go all the way back to slavery. It was the family, the strong family units and the faith in God that got people through that, that got people through Jim Crow, through severe segregation, through all the difficulties. But what really had a negative impact was when the government came along said, ‘There, there, you poor little thing, I’m going to take care of all your needs’ and started implementing policies that were destructive to the family formation. Those are the things that have hurt the Black communities the most.”

I’ll remind you again: Carson is a brain surgeon.

And yet he’s brain dead. Slavery was good for families, you know, until the Master sold your mother and your sister, or worse, raped them; or when he murdered your father or sold him off.

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Tom Cotton Doesn't Want You 'Woke'

I loathe Tom Cotton, the GQP Senator from Arkansas; the Big Lie peddling senator; the “What insurrection?” senator; the white anti-diversity senator.

Last week, Tom Cotton, the white senator Arkansas,  told Army Gen. Lloyd Austin, America’s first Black defense secretary, that President Biden’s administration has witnessed the birth of racism and sexism within the military and it’s all because of the anti-extremism and diversity training that troops have taken so far this year:

“We’re hearing reports of plummeting morale, growing mistrust between the races and sexes where none existed just six months ago, and unexpected retirements and separations based on these trainings alone.”

Yes, he thinks teaching diversity causes people to be more racist and suggests that the military was a racism-free zone all during the last hate-filled administration but has turned all white supremacist in the six months Biden has been President. It’s an asinine statement, even from a fool like Tom Cotton.

Task & Purpose—where I found this story—has documented 40 cases since 2016 of service members and veterans participating in extremist organizations, such as white supremacist groups. And a Pentagon survey—that they tried to bury—found nearly one-third of Black service members had experienced racism. Moreover, 30% of Black respondents and 22% of Asian respondents felt their chances for promotion would be harmed if they reported the racial harassment and discrimination that they endured. And let’s not talk about the January 6^th insurrection, after which an active-duty Marine major, four service members in the reserves, and 41 veterans have been charged so far.

All that happened under the presidency of the last guy, but Cotton won’t tell you that. And he won’t tell you about retired Marine Lt. Gen. Vincent Stewart, a Black man and former head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, who wrote about the racism he endured:

“I want you to know how difficult it was to convince a member of Congress that I had earned my position at DIA; that it wasn’t a gratuitous appointment because, in his words, I ‘must be close to the president,’ in reference to President Obama.”

Yes, he got ahead because … Obama. Not on merit.

And as for sexism within the military, there are many examples from before Biden ever took office of commands failing to protect female service members from sexual harassment. A review following the April 2020 murder of Army Spc. Vanessa Guillén also showed that female soldiers at Fort Hood faced an environment so toxic that they constantly lived in “survival mode.” 

And, when asked if Tom Cotton believes that racism and sexism did not exist in the military six months ago, the senator’s office said:

“Senator Cotton has heard from men and women of all races that new Critical Race Theory indoctrination in the military is fomenting increased distrust in the ranks on the basis of sex and race.” 

And there you have it; Cotton doesn’t want people to be told or taught about America’s racist past, present, and sadly, future, even with the evidence of racism in the military smacking him in his smug mug.

Cotton insists he and his anti-diversity cohort, Congressman Dan Crenshaw, have received “several hundred whistleblower complaints about Pentagon extremist and diversity training” and the two established a website to allow service members who have fallen victim to “woke ideology” to file anonymous complaints, vowing that they would be protected against retaliation.

And while the website received many prank complaints, Cotton read a sampling of the non-satirical complaints, many from people who felt that diversity training portrayed White people as racist. Cotton said:

“This is not about diversity in general, though. This is about a very specific kind of anti-American indoctrination that is seeping into some parts of our military based on the whistleblower complaints we have received.” 

Cotton added that one … one … Marine complained that instead of learning about military history, his unit had to complete “mandatory training on police brutality, white privilege and systemic racism” and said that marine has “reported that several officers are now leaving his unit, citing that training.”

Cotton didn’t explain how the officers in this particular Marine unit have been able to leave because they disagreed with the diversity training. Marines may request transfers but they cannot simply walk away from their assignments if they disagree with their chain of command.

Here’s the deal: America is a racist country, but not all white people are racist. Just take a look … and do it quickly before the GQP erases all of it … at our history of enslaving Black men and women, and then “setting” them free only to lynch them, segregate them, deny them equal rights; take a look at America locking up Asian Americans in internment camps during World War II, or beating Asian Americans in the streets in 2020 over lies about COVID-19, or as Thing $% called it, the “China Flu.” Take a look at all that we have done to Native Americans since we set foot on their land hundreds of years ago; look at every single person of color, from Latino countries to Middle Eastern countries who are painted as drug dealers and rapists and terrorists simply because they look and speak differently than “us.”

If diversity training anywhere, even in the military, can help to change the thinking of even one person, then Tom Cotton, who speaks racist thoughts without the need for a white hood, should welcome it, instead of trying to fight it.

Understanding one another is the way forward. Cotton, Crenshaw and the GOP want to go backwards because diversity might just teach us all that the white man isn’t all that.

Task and Purpose 

Nothing But Liars

Let’s start with freshman North Carolina GOP Representative Madison Cawthorn, who has a lot going for him, starting with being kinda hot. But if you scratch the surface you find out he’s more than just the youngest member of Congress in history, at age twenty-five, he’s also a rightwingnut, insurrectionist, white supremacist.

Oh, and he’s also a liar.

In 2014, Cawthorn became disabled after a car crash left him paralyzed from the waist down, and he claims that, at that time, he was a successful business owner headed to the Naval Academy.

Lie. In 2014, before the accident, he had already been rejected from the Naval Academy, and his real-estate investment firm, SPQR Holdings LLC has reported no income on its tax documents, and lists Cawthorn as its sole employee. His only real work experience was managing a Chick-fil-A and serving as a staff assistant in the congressional offices of Mark Meadows—the last Chief of Staff of the former administration.

Oh, and SPQR is an acronym for Senatus Populusque Romanus [The Senate and People of Rome] a phrase used to describe the Roman state in Republican and Imperial times, and also used as a favorite abbreviation of white nationalists.

Cawthorn also said he was in training for the 2020 Paralympic Games, and hoped to compete in the 400-meter dash at the 2020 Paralympic Games in Tokyo, but his hopes were dashed by his worsening disability.

Lie; there is zero evidence of such an opportunity or any meaningful steps he'd taken to get there. Cawthorn attended Patrick Henry College, a tiny Christian college in Virginia that doesn't offer a disabled sports program, and other wheelchair athletes don't recall ever seeing him at events.

He lies … about everything, except for the time he posted photos to Instagram from a vacation visit to the Eagle’s Nest, a Nazi retreat Hitler visited more than a dozen times. He posted that the visit was on his “bucket list” and called “Führer,” a term of reverence.

Liar and white supremacist, and elected ReTHUGlican.

And then there’s Tom Cotton, who, from the jump running for political office, lied about his military service. He has claims to have been a U.S. Army Ranger in Iraq and Afghanistan, and, in a campaign ad, said he ‘volunteered to be an Army Ranger.’

Fact? Cotton was never part of the 75th Ranger Regiment, the elite unit that plans and conducts joint special military operations as part of the U.S. Army Special Operations Command.

Fact: he’s in office as a member of a political group that says they fully support our military, but he lies about his own service.

Liars … just like House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy who, on January 13, said the former President was to blame for the insurrection at the nation’s capitol, now says he never said that at, and he, in fact, blames almost everyone else in this country for the attack, but not the former president.

Lastly, Colorado GOP Representative Lauren Boebert—who espouses a pro-police, law-and-order message—has been arrested at least four times over the past decade.

And, to be fair, while the three arrests and one court-ordered summons were for petty crimes—and in one case all charges were dropped—Boebert’s record is unusually long for an elected official.

Boebert’s first run-in with police was in 2010, after a neighbor, Michele Soet, alleged that Boebert was harassing Soet and Soet’s husband. The alleged harassment occurred in the days after Soet called police because Boebert’s pit bulls were loose and threatening the life of her dogs.

Boebert was arrested twice in 2015, first, Boebert was detained after a verbal altercation with police at Country Jam, a music festival near Grand Junction. Boebert, then 28, shouted at people detained on suspicion of underage drinking, urging them to flee from police, which caused the young drinkers to become unruly. She was handcuffed for disorderly conduct, and tried to twist away from police, shouting that her arrest was unconstitutional, that “she had friends at Fox News and that the arrest would be national news.”

It only became national news after she was elected to office.

Her last case was when she was released from custody and told to appear in court but missed her court date because, as she told a judge, she forgot what day of the week it was.

Elected to office, doesn’t know how to read a calendar?

The judge rescheduled for later that year but Boebert again was a no-show and gave no reason for her absence.

Boebert was arrested for failure to appear, which also landed her in jail a year later, and charged with careless driving and operating an unsafe vehicle after rolling her truck into a Garfield County ditch in the summer of 2016. They were minor traffic charges, but once again Boebert skipped her court date. She was booked into the Garfield County Jail in 2017, for failure to appear and spent exactly 100 minutes as an inmate before being released on bond.

And remember, she’s a law-and-order politician. And remember, she is accused of giving a tour of the capitol to a group of people who later led an insurrection of the building.

IU hate to say that the GOP is full of liars, racists, white supremacists, Hitler lovers, criminals and that ilk, but it’s hard to when the evidence is right in front of your face.

Bobservations

So, I’m over, or getting over, my bad cold thingy, but I will say this: I am a horrible patient. I prefer to take care of myself because, well, who knows me better than me? So, I don’t take kindly to anyone, even Carlos, telling me what I should be doing. As I politely shrieked at him last week:

“I know we’ve been together seventeen years, but in all the years before I ever knew you I managed to keep myself alive, so I think I know what’s best for me!!!!!!”

Best to read that in high-pitched, sore throat, stuffy nose howler monkey realness to get the full effect.

Also, I slept in the guest room for a week, so Carlos wouldn’t get it sick, so I’m not all mean, right? And all of the cats, even Consuelo Roca-Jones, came into the guest room to sleep with me, and I told Carlos that I thought they were a trio of death cats watching and waiting for me to take my last breath.

Carlos, on the other hand, was miffed, saying he was hurt they moved out of the master bedroom to sleep with me and not him; he said the cats liked me more. I, in the throes of my howler monkey realness, said:

“They don’t like me more … they love me more.”

Even sick, I got it.

This week Mississippi state Representative Credell Calhoun … a Democrat fer f**ks sake … introduced a bill that would require Mississippi school teachers to read the Ten Commandments every day in the first hour of class.

In.Public.School.

Oh, and in addition to the Ten Commandments recitation, teachers would be required to display the Commandments prominently in every classroom, school auditorium, and cafeteria.

Separation of church and state? Not in Credell’s idiotic brain.

And don’t get me started on how bad many public-school systems in this country are doing, and this tool wants to take time out to read the Ten Commandments?

Tide Pods? Really? Eating Tide Pods is a thing? Eating detergent is a pastime? I mean, I get it if you’re, say, under four-years-old, but anyone over that age who thinks ingesting a cleanser is cool or fun or “the in thing” needs to be watched 24/7.

We’ve seen all kinds of GOP Congressmen and Senators refuse to hold Town Halls with their constituents out of fear that their constituents will arrive with metaphorical pitchforks, but GOP Asshat Extraordinaire Tom Cotton really takes the cake.

His office in Arkansas recently sent out cease-and-desist letters to constituents who contact his office with concerns. Cotton has also threatened citizens with legal action if they continue to express their opinion and reach out to his staff.

Someone needs to tell Senator Dumbfuck that he works for those constituents and if they wanna talk, he needs to pull his lips off _____’s fat flabby pasty cold, spanked with a Forbes magazine, and listen to them.

Or be removed from office.

Ryan Murphy’s new season of American Crime Story started last week, and this season is The Assassination of Gianni Versace. I didn’t think I’d be as interested as last year’s OJ story, but I was hooked after the first episode, mostly because former Glee boy, Darren Criss, is playing Versace killer Andrew Cunanan. I mean, he was a cute boy on Glee, but he’s chilling as a sociopath in this story.

Of course, the butt shot didn’t hurt anything, cuz, you know, I’m shallow like that.

Well, it is Texas so …

Judge Jack Robison, a Comal County judge, said God told him to intervene in jury deliberations to sway jurors to return a not guilty verdict in the trial of a Buda woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex. Robison defended his actions by telling them “when God tells me I gotta do something, I gotta do it.”

Luckily, the jurors were as inclined to listen to Robison as they were to his version of ‘God’ and went against his wishes and found Gloria Romero-Perez guilty of continuous trafficking of a person and sentenced her to 25 years in prison.

Like I said, it is Texas …

Poor Chris Christie. No sooner than he is out of office then he is treated like an ordinary person. No scooting to the front of the line at Krispy Kreme; no special made Sansi-Belt-Expand-O-Waist pants at wholesale prices; no more skipping the TSA checkpoint at the airport.

Christie tried to circumvent a TSA checkpoint at Newark Liberty International Airport last week, with his State Police detail, but a TSA officer said, “Oh hell no.”

He told Krispy Kreme he is no longer allowed to use that access and put him in line with the regular folks.

Oh, the hypocrisy …. Pennsylvania Republican Representative Patrick Meehan, who has taken a leading role in fighting sexual harassment in Congress, used thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to settle his own misconduct complaint after a former aide accused him of making unwanted romantic overtures to her.

Seriously. If they’re homophobes shouting anti-LGBT statement from the rooftops, they’re highly likely to be closeted homosexuals, and now, if they’re out there trying to protect women from sexual harassment, they’re the ones doing the harassing.

It’s like this: whatever a GOP politician says is the wrong thing to do, you can almost bet they’re doing it.

TMZ caught Suzanne Somers leaving an LA restaurant and asked her about the shutdown and _____:

“I’m happy about him. I’m happy that the economy is doing so much better…and now my career is over.”

Funny. I thought her career was over decades ago.

Lastly … The Mens.

Back in the 90s I rad a book … a book? That is so last century … called The Alienist … part murder mystery, serial killer thriller, and history lesson set in New York City at the turn of the previous century. Now, twenty years later it has come to television in a 10-part series and looks incredible.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that one of the stars is tall, dark, handsome, and openly gay, Luke Evans, who gives me the tingles.

And it doesn’t hurt that it co-stars Falk Hentschel, as a sultry sexy brothel owner, and sexy Brian Geraghty as NY Police Commissioner Theodore Roosevelt.

Good story, gorgeous filmmaking and some hot guys.

Rings all my bells.