Bobservations

Last week our espresso machine frothed its last milk, and while we await the arrival of her replacement, we have been using a French Press for morning caffeine.

Carlos makes the coffee, which requires him to, and this might be difficult, put water in a pan, put said pan on stove, cover said pan, turn on burner, wait for water to boil, pour water into French Press, let coffee steep.

Well, one morning there was half a French Press of coffee because Carlos hadn’t filled it up, and this morning it happened again. I suggested that, with his eyesight, he put the water in the French Press first and then pour that into the pan and boil it. That way the right amount of water is boiled, and this is what he said:

“I thought I filled it up all the way. I boiled the water and when I was pouring it, I heard it go ‘glub glub glub’ and so I stopped because I thought it was full.”

Glub … Glub … Glub. That could have been Consuelo hair balling in the next room.

Once again, I shamefully admit that I was born in Mississippi, but also offer up the fact that I left when I was six-months-old before the state had a chance to ‘groom’ me into racism and ignorance.

Wisconsin Representative Tom Tiffany just Tweeted out that Joe Biden came after your guns, and then came after your Free Speech, and now he’s coming for your gas stoves.

I wish Joe had actually come for this asshat’s ability to run for Congress since he’s an ignorant lying POS.

To paraphrase on of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, “These cakes are real, and they're spectacular.”

Most Arizona voters disapprove of Senator-For-Now Kyrsten Sinema for leaving the Democratic party so much so that no party, Democrat, Republican, or Independent, have a favorable opinion of her.

Some 50% of Arizonan Republicans disapprove of Sinema, and 59% of Democrats don't like her and 48% are Team Anyone Else.

,Good luck on the reelection bid, wingnut.

I was at the grocery store the other day, and as I grabbed a few potatoes, standing at the back of my cart, this elderly woman reached in front of me, took my cart by the handle, and shoved it out of her way. I said:

“You could have said ‘Excuse me,’ and I would have made room for you to pass.”

“I didn’t see you so I took care of it myself.”

I wanted to tell her to get her eyes checked, but I also wanted to shove her raggedy ass into one of beer coolers, but instead I said no more and walked away. But then, as luck would have it, when we were checking out, she showed up in the same line behind me, with her basket, and said, oh so sweetly:

“Would you mind if I went ahead? I’ve just got a few things.”

I smiled and said:

“Why ask? Why not just shove my cart out of the way.”

I didn’t let her ahead of me.

Those of you who think Prince Harry speaking out about press abuse & family gaslighting by telling his own story while senior royals removed his and Meghan’s security detail, and yet have no issue whatsoever with those same royals allowing Prince Andrew to not only keep his security, but to pay £12 million to a sex trafficking victim 'he never met' is the REAL outrage. 

Last week in my Fashion Roundup for the Golden Globes I trashed Heidi Klum for her, ahem, lack of fashion choices, but one woman, artist Angelica Hicks, did me one better by recreating Heidi’s sequined and feathered dress using nothing but aluminum foil and a sanitary pad painted with purple eyeshadow.

Nailed it. Heidi should have worn Tin Foil and Tampons.

I don’t know much about David Boas, other than he’s a model and has some pretty fabulous hair and likes wearing as little clothing as possible. But the real question is, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Earlier this month I mentioned to Carlos that actress Olivia de Havilland had celebrated her 104th birthday, Carlos gave me that look so I said …

“Olivia de Havilland? Gone with the Wind? The Heiress? She took over Joan Crawford’s role in Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte when Crawford faked an illness? Olivia de Havilland?”

“What about her?”

Oh Carlos … but cut to the end of the month when Carlos, in the living room watching CNN, comes back to tell me that Olivia de Havilland  has died.

“Yeah. I just read that.”

“She was 104.” 

“I know. I told you that a few weeks ago and you had no idea who she was.”

“I knew her. She was in … in … Gone with the Wind!”

What role did she play?”

“She was the star.”

No, that was Vivien Leigh. Who did Olivia de Havilland  play?”

“She was … she was … one of the girls.”

That’s my Carlos, and just one of the many reasons I’m keeping him.

Like his two Daddies, Tuxedo is completely over the Covid-19 Hoax bull shiz ….

An as-yet-unnamed Minnesota man and woman followed the rules and wore masks while shopping at a Walmart. But their masks featured a Nazi flag and, needless to say, shoppers were not amused. One person yells:

"You can't be American and wear that mask. We literally had a war about this." 

The masked woman replies:

"If you vote for Biden you're gonna be in Nazi Germany. That's what it's going to be like."

No, what it’s going to be like is Nazi Ken and Karen have been banned from Walmart … every  Walmart … for a year.

Oh lord, where are they gonna get their Curs Lite and Pork rinds now?

Free Speech is free, but Hate Speech has consequences.

Oy, the week … DVR s and internet go down; the air conditioning went out; Friday we took Ozzo to the vet for a checkup and to get more heartworm meds for him, and they found two bad teeth that need to come out … to the tune of $1,000.00. I’m trying to find a way to whore out a neutered Black Lab-Dachshund mix …and then Saturday our refrigerator quit working; the freezer was all good, but the refrigerator was all, “I’m’a get hot now.’ And then Monday, after the AC guys came to replace a part and get us set again, the AC stopped working on Tuesday.

It’s been a Murphy’s Law kinda week for us, but here it is Thursday, and everything seems to be working out … except for whoring out Ozzo.

::::sigh:::

This weekend, when asked if he planned a visit to the Capitol building to pay his respects to late Congressman and Civil Rights hero, John Lewis, the Occupant of the White House said:

“No, I won’t be going. No.”

Instead he went to North Carolina.

What did you expect? He’s a racist.

In Sorry Not Sorry news … GOP governors like Greg Abbott in Texas, Doug Ducey in Arizona, Brian Kemp in Georgia, and Ron DeSantis in  Florida all saw their approval numbers drop in the wake of the _____-like bumbling of the pandemic.

When you follow stupid …

In Petty Betty News … an hour before Dr. Anthony Fauci threw the first pitch at the season opener between the New York Yankees and the Washington Nationals, the Occupant of the White House appeared in the Briefing Room to announce that he, too, had been invited to throw out his own opening pitch.

Except … no one at the White House and no one at the Yankees confirmed it. It was just the effing President acting like a spoiled baby and lying, blatantly, about the honor.

And, of course, he later tweeted that he couldn’t throw the first pitch because he was too busy working on the China virus.

He tweeted that while playing golf.

And finally, some good news … swimsuit and underwear model Alexandros Kaltsidis. I could purr that name all day.

And he’s Greek, like Kalamata Olives and Feta Cheese; I imagine he’s a delicious snack too.

Just sayin’.

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