Snarky Thoughts

Rumor has it that good boy Prince Andrew is heartbroken and, well, furious that his older brother King Chuck is the sole heir to mommy’s nearly $800M tax-free estate.

My Thought: If you’d stayed away from underage girls, mama might have slipped you some coins.

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What is it with some celebrities who feel the need to share every minute detail of their lives? And, no, this time I don’t mean Madge. Actor and podcaster Rachel Bilson is the latest member of the Thirsty Overshare Club™ and has decided to let the world know that although she has had several relationships, but she has never had an orgasm until she was thirty-eight.

My Thought: Was anyone asking her about her orgasms or does she just think everyone cares … cuz I, for one, don’t.

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When movie theater attendance took a nose-dive with the rise of streaming and COVID lockdowns, tiny men with big egos, Tom Cruise and James Cameron, demanded their films only be shown in theaters to get America back at the movies. And yet neither man could be bothered to show up to the Oscars, AKA “Hollywood’s Biggest Night.”

My Thought: Cameron wasn’t nominated, so clearly he stayed home to pout, and Tom Cruise’s new face probably wasn’t ready by the time the show aired.

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Ever since Bravo let her go fired her for being a hot shrieking mess, people have been wondering who will replace Lisa Rinna as the new bitch on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well, it might be a former Desperate House stepping in to fill Rinna’s hooves since rumor has it that Andy Cohen has asked professional television bitch, Nicolette Sheridan, to join the show.

My Thought: What else is Sheridan doing, right? On the other hand, it would be smack to Rinna because Sheridan was once married to Rinna’s husband, Harry Hamlin … oh, and her lips are real.

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Since we already talked thirsty—see Rachel Bilson orgasm—let’s add to the club with one Miley Cyrus. See, Miley and her ex-husband Liam Hemsworth broke up over four years ago and she went on to have several relationships, as did he, but suddenly all of her new music is about Liam and how she doesn’t need him  and how he broke her heart and how he left her.

My Thought: Miley clearly wants Liam back, because why else spend her time four years later writing revenge songs? Especially given that Liam moved on and is in a long-term relationship.

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Snarky Thoughts

Oh this is sooooooo surprising. One of Nick Cannon’s baby mamas, LaNisha Cole, went after Nick for posting “fake” photo ops with his other kids and their mothers. Cole—who shares 3-month-old daughter Onyx with Cannon—seemingly responded to questions about her and her daughter not being included in the recent snaps.

My Thought: LaNisha? Nick had at least nine other children with a handful of other women when he knocked you up and you think he has time to remember y’all? Please.

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It looks like Leonardo DiCaprio has dumped his “ancient” girlfriend, model Gigi Hadid, and gone back to his own tried and true “Only Models Under 25 Rule.” After dumping model Camila Morrone on or around her 25th birthday, and after the internet tore him a new one  for dating only models in their early 20s, Leo hooked up with “old” Gigi Hadid, who at 27 is on the old and dusty side, I’m guessing. Gigi and Leo were seen out and about in New York and his publicist dropped some quotes to the press about the couple, but quicker than you can say “Grandma Gigi,” 48-year-old Leo has moved on to 23-year-old model/actress this week Victoria Lamas.

My Thought: Leo will marry when he is officially four times as old as his bride … when she’s 23 and he’s 92 … and in diapers.

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John Mayer claims that he hasn’t really dated since getting sober six years ago. Telling Alex Cooper on his Call Me Daddy podcast that, without alcohol as a crutch, he lacks the “liquid courage” to go on dates. Well, that doesn’t explain the nearly four-hour dinner he shared with actress Kiernan Shipka last month, where the 45-year-old singer serenaded the 23-year-old Kiernan.

My Thought: I don’t believe a word Mayer says, and if he’s not dating it’s not his choice, it’s women saying, Oh hell no.

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I have never seen Titanic, but even I have heard the debate about why Kate Winslet’s character didn’t make room on the floating door for Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack, so that his character would survive. And while the debate rages … Rages? Really? … on, Kate Winslet, out promoting Avatar: The Way of Water, weighed in again about saving Leo, and said, “I don’t fucking know.” But apparently Titanic director, and egomaniac, James Cameron says he actually commissioned a scientific study to see if two people could stay afloat on a door after the Titanic went down to “put this whole thing to rest” and he claims there was no way both Jack and Rose could have survived.

My Thought: Do people really care about this? And does anyone really believe James Cameron commissioned a scientific study?

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I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Anyone who's visited ISBL more than once and for more than a minute, knows how I feel about Mel Gibson.

Asshat. Alcoholic. Anti-Semite. Misogynist. Homophobe. Religious Nutjob.

But now, to that illustrious list, we can add racist and verbal abuser.

See, Holier-Than-Thou Mel is in the middle of a nasty custody battle with former girlfriend, and baby mama, Oksana Grigorieva, the woman he left his Catholic wife for when she became pregnant.

But Oksana has released an audio message from Mel, in which he says horrific racial and misogynist slurs and threatens her life.

This from a man who claims to be so devoutly religious that he broke away from the Roman Catholic Church, and built his own church, because the RC's were too lenient.

Uh huh.

This is Mel Gibson's message to his former girlfriend, and the mother of his child:

"You're an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault. How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so fucking nice. I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first. Look what you did to me… look what you are… look what every part of you is… fucking fake… fucking fake. You are the most synthetic person… who the fuck are you?"
I think it best if Mel Gibson simply goes away, never to be seen or heard from again.

Bad news, kiddies, Christmas has been cancelled. Permanently.

Sources, and by sources I mean a gaggle of bored housewives, say that Kate Gosselin, having proven that on the dance floor she is the equivalent of a bull moose in heat, is now going to record a Christmas album.

Cover your ears. NOW!

Record execs, and by record execs I mean a bunch of teenagers with access to iPods, claim that Kate is pitching the CD around town, with songs sung by herself and all her children. They say that Gosselin "sees herself as a modern day Maria from 'The Sound of Music,' except this time the family singers won't be the Von Trap family, they would be the Gosselins."

And she isn't a former nun, but a media whore who will use her own children to further her need for fame.

I think someone needs to call Julie Andrews, to round up the kids from the movie, march into Gosselin's house and bitch slap her until she gives up the idea.

Those two of you who call yourselves Chris Brown defenders are not gonna like this.
Y'all know that Rihanna's abusive ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, received a lot of attention for his tearful[?] heartfelt[?] tribute to Michael Jackson at the BET Awards Sunday night, right?
While singing "Man in the Mirror," Brown broke down, unable to sing, weeping openly.
But, wouldn't you know it, there are some folks who are calling it just a show.
Sources, and by sources I mean drunk groupies, say that before he took the stage, one of Chris Brown's bodyguards gave him tear-inducing eye drops:
"He rubbed it in and he started crying."
Chris Brown's rep, o course, denies it, saying that Brown was truly "moved by the opportunity to pay tribute to his idol."
But the witnesses are sticking to their story.
And, while we'll never know for sure, unless that bodyguard speaks up, it does seem a little Chris Brown-ish, doesn't it?

We can't go a week without LiLo news, it seems. i mean, now that her career--and by career I mean junkie, alcoholic, thief-- is revving up again.
And I don't mean acting.
An expensive boutique in Los Angeles is suing Lindsay Lohan for ALLEGEDLY not paying her $17,000+ bill from earlier this year.
According to the lawsuit, Lindsay ALLEGEDLY shopped at Tough as Nails and convinced the owners that her "business manager," or pimp, would be paying the bill at a later date. As the suit explains, the owners believed Lindsanity because of her, ahem, "well known status as a movie actress with substantial income."
Quick! Name her last movie....Hell. Name any of her movies in the last five years.
Still, Lindsay's manager did make a small down payment on the tab; he paid off $180.00 of the $17,000 and figured that was good enough.
Wrong! The owners insist that Lohan has committed premeditated fraud by having "no intention of causing her business manager to pay the entire balance" and they are seeking the balance due, plus interest and punitive damages.
Lindsay better hurry up and get that Linda Lovelace movie done.
Girl's gotta pay the bill.

This.Is.Rich.
And by rich, i mean horrendously funny, with a mega-does of stupidity.
The Asylum Production company has ALLEGEDLY decided to make a direct-to-DVD sequel to the Academy Award winning film, Titanic!
You know, the one where the ship sank.
It will star multi-award-winning Brooke Burns.....What? Oh. I mean multi-award-show-watching Brook Burns, and will take place, not in the past, but in the present, when, and here's Asylum's synopsis:
"On the 100th anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened “Titanic 2,” follows the path of its namesake. But when a tsunami hurls an ice berg into the new ship’s path, the passengers and crew must fight to avoid a similar fate."
Asylum Productions needs to be locked up in an asylum for even thinking about this drivel; although the idea of a tsunami "hurling" an iceberg sounds fun.
If they hurl it at James Cameron, who I think will have loads to say, and sue, about this.

There's a reason why they're calling it Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.
After being divorced for nearly ten years, Michael Douglas and his ex-wife, Diandra, are back in court over money.
It seems that Diandra has filed a lawsuit against her former bank account, er, husband claiming that she is entitled to half of his earnings from Wall Street 2.
And though Diandra received some $45 million in the divorce, she claims that part of the deal was that she was entitled to 50 percent of money from his films during their time together - including residuals, merchandising, ancillary rights and spinoffs.
Spinoffs? Is Wall Street 2 a spinoff, or a sequel? And therein lies the rub.
Michael's lawyer, Marilyn Chinitz, is arguing that a sequel is not a spinoff and she has no right to the money, said: "[Michael] doesn't want [Diandra] to be an albatross around his neck forever."
Ouch!
But Diandra says: "It's the same character, the same title, just years later."
The judge did agree that there was a difference between a spinoff and sequel, but will not decide the issue until he figures out whether the case should be tried in NYC or sent to California, where the two divorced.
I imagine Catherine Zeta-I-Married-My-Grandfather-Jones doesn't want to see any of her future Botox money going to the ex-wife.

I Didn't Say It

Sinead O'Connor, on the Pope and the epidemic of Catholic clergy sexual abuse scandals:
"There should be a full criminal investigation of the Catholic hierarchy of any country in which this has been an issue. There should be a full criminal investigation of the Vatican. There should be a full criminal investigation of the pope. The pope should stand down for the fact that he did not act in a Christian fashion to protect children, and for the fact that his organization acted to preserve their business interests decade after decade rather than be concerned about the interests of children, and for showing so much disrespect for Christ, God, the victims, the rest of us, their own clergy. . . . The Vatican and the pope need to get on their knees and confess the full truth in the same language they make us use in Mass. . . . They need to get on their knees, open everything up, be transparent, tell the truth, ask the people for forgiveness and prayers."

James Cameron on Glenn Beck:
"Glenn Beck is a fucking asshole. I've met him. He called me the anti-Christ and not about 'Avatar.' He hadn't even seen 'Avatar' yet. I don't know if he has seen it...I think, you know what, he may or may not be an asshole, but he certainly is dangerous, and I'd love to have a dialogue with him...He's dangerous because his ideas are poisonous. I couldn't believe when he was on CNN. I thought, what happened to CNN? Who is this guy? Who is this madman? And then of course he wound up on Fox News, which is where he belongs, I guess...[The right wing are] just people ranting away, lost in their little bubbles of reality, steeped in their own hatred, their own fear and hatred. That's where it all comes from. Let's just call it out. Let's have a public discussion. That's what movies are supposed to do, you know, you can have a mindless entertainment film that doesn't affect anybody. I wasn't interested in that...Anybody that is a global-warming denier at this point in time has got their head so deeply up their ass I'm not sure they could hear me."

Barney Frank on the anti-gay slurs used by Teabaggers during the health care debate:
"There was a great deal of shouting, you know, waving of fists and signs, and sort of people getting very close and yelling. And a number of the comments were homophobic.... What occurs to me is, there are kids all over the country watching this, not as a game but as real life. And watching so-called respectable politicians cheering them on. And that was just discouraging, that at this point in our history, we couldn't have a rational debate with these kind of thug tactics that were being used.''

Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin on DADT and ENDA:
"Certainly there are members of Congress who are nervous because of the economy, the rate of joblessness. Across the country, people are agitated. On the other hand, my constituents want to see bolder and quicker change, and so I actually see positive signs to follow through [on DADT and ENDA]."






Carmen Electra, on her breast implants:
"I had breast surgery over 10 years ago…which took a bit of time to get used to. I didn't want to go as big as that. It's nice that I don't have to wear a push-up bra any more, but I could have left myself alone."









Magician James Randi, known as 'The Amazing Randi', coming out of the closet:
"Well, here goes. I really resent the term, but I use it because it’s recognized and accepted. I’m gay. From some seventy years of personal experience, I can tell you that there’s not much “gay” about being homosexual. For the first twenty years of my life, I had to live in the shadows, in a culture that was--at least outwardly--totally hostile to any hint of that variation of life-style....Gradually, the general attitude that I’d perceived around me began to change, and presently I find that there has emerged a distinctly healthy acceptance of different social styles of living--except, of course, in cultures that live in constant and abject fear of divine retribution for infractions found in the various Holy Books...In another two decades, I’m confident that young people will find themselves in a vastly improved atmosphere of acceptance....I'm in excellent company: Barney Frank, Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry, Ellen DeGeneres, Rachel Maddow, are just a few of those who were in my thoughts as I pressed the key that placed this on Swift and before the whole world…"


Drag Queen Joan Collins on real men in Hollywood:
"There's a big difference between the male stars of bygone years and today's slightly metrosexual-looking actors. Johnny Depp, Leonardo Di Caprio and Sean Penn are all wonderful actors, but they are chameleon-like when it comes to their place on the masculinity meter. As for today's TV stars, to me they seem just like ordinary, faceless men cut from the same male cookie-cutter. I don't recognise most of them, and in any case their star doesn't burn brightly for very long on TV nowadays. Viewers are fickle and shows are cast off the networks faster than old bait."

Former Australian High Court Justice, and out gay man, Michael Kirby, from a book of essays about justice issues:
"Openness about sexuality helps to destroy the foundation for prejudice and discrimination. One day there will be a big parliamentary apology to gay people for the oppression that was forced on them and the inequalities that were maintained in the law well beyond their use-by date. Just like the delayed 2008 apology to the Aboriginal people of our country.
"I also do not doubt that, in a comparatively short time, Australia will move towards same-sex civil unions and gay marriage. No one has satisfactorily explained how my 40-year loving relationship with my partner Johan in any way affects (still less undermines) heterosexual marriage. If Australians are now more homophobic than racist, as some recent public opinion polls suggest, this is because Australians have lacked good leadership on this issue."

Lt. Dan Choi on his arrest for chaining himself to a White House fence:
"There was no freer moment than being in that prison. It was freeing for me, and I thought of all of the other people that were still trapped - that were still handcuffed and fettered in their hearts. And we might have been caged up physically, but the message was very clear to all of the people who think that equality can be purchased with a donation, or with a cocktail party, or with tokens, that are serving in a public role. We are worth more than tokens. We have absolute value. And when the person who is oppressed by his own country wants to find out how to get that dignity back - being chained up and being arrested - that's how you get your dignity conferred back upon you. And so I think that by actions, my call is to every leader - not just talking gay leaders - I'm talking any leader who believes in America, and the promises of America can be manifest. We're gonna do it again. And we're going to keep doing it until the promises are manifest. And we will not stop. This is a very clear message to President Obama and any other leader who supposes to talk for the American promise and the American people. We will not go away."

Huffington Post blogger and military veteran Rob Smith, on Dan Choi's protest:
"Dan Choi will always be that rock star activist that handcuffed himself to the gates of The White House. Of course Dan Choi jumped the shark, and he did it in his military uniform for all the cameras to see. You know what, though? I think what we needed was to see something like this to light a fire under each and every one of us that cares as deeply as he does about Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal, and about full equality in general. This movement needs him as much as it needs me, or Jarrod Chlapowski, or Lt. Col Victor Fehrenbach, or any of the other gay veterans who share our past of silent service knowing that it reflects the present of thousands of gay soldiers currently serving. Maybe it's time to act up all over again. Maybe the rumblings of this being a part of a more coordinated activist effort are true. Maybe it is time to Get Equal."People keep wondering who's going to be the Martin Luther King of the gay rights movement, and that I still don't know, but I think yesterday's actions may have put us one step closer to finding our Malcolm X."