Bobservations

While doing our groceries over the weekend, Carlos stopped me, and whispered:

“Can you get me something?”

“What is it?”

He looks around.

“Preparation H.”

“You got a fire in the hole?”

“Stop that!”

But I can’t, so I jokingly tell him I don’t know where it is in the store so I’ll ask a cashier; then I mimic her on the loudspeaker:

“We have a gentleman in need of Preparation H! What aisle is the Preparation H?”

And then I say once we find it and head the checkout:

“I need a price check on Preparation H? Price check. Preparation H.”

Carlos mutters:

“I hate you.”

But he doesn’t because had the situation been reversed … uh huh.

We have had many, many cats over the years and almost all were good at following the rules; staying off counters and tables; not sitting on certain pieces of furniture. But this one time:

“Rule Breakers

We have rules at Chez Smallville. Cats can get on the beds, on the desk, on the sunroom furniture and on the living room couch. They cannot get on the counters, the tables, the dining room chairs or any of the four new chairs in the living room. And they listen. They know where they can go, and where they cannot.

So, imagine my surprise to walk into the living room and find Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg nesting in a No-No Chair! And look at Max; he's got that Uh-oh face. Tuxedo, on the other hand, couldn't even be bothered to wake up.

At least not until I yelled Geddownfromthere!

Cat scatter.”

And they never got on those chairs again … at least not while we were home.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People [NAACP] has issued a travel advisory for … no, not Ukraine, or Russia, Syria or Iran, China or North Korea … but for the state of Florida. The advisory is a response to Governor DeFacist’s attempts to erase Black history and restrict diversity, equity, and inclusion programs in Florida schools, and read, in part:

“Florida is openly hostile toward African Americans, people of color and LGBTQ+ individuals. Before traveling to Florida, please understand that the state of Florida devalues and marginalizes the contributions of, and the challenges faced by African Americans and other communities of color.”

And now the Human Rights Campaign, the League of United Latin American Citizens, the Florida Immigrant Coalition and Equality Florida have joined the NAACP in advising people to avoid visiting or relocating to the State of Hate.

In America.

Tina Turner. Icon. Diva. Singer. Sex Symbol. Goddess. Survivor. She started out a little rough, and then it got rougher for her, but she came through and persevered and taught us all what it looks like to come out of the darkness and into the light.

RIP ... and thank you for the music and the strength.

A guy goes into a bar where there’s a robot bartender who says:

"What will you have?"

“A martini.”

The robot brings back the best martini ever and asks the man:

"What’s your IQ?"

"148."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious, so the next night he goes back to the bar and the robot asks:

"What will you have?"

“Whiskey."

"What's your IQ?"

"100."

The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser, and John Deere tractors. And then the guy leaves but finds it so interesting that returns next night and the robot asks again:

"What will you have?"

“Beer.”

“What’s your IQ?"

"Uh, about 55, I think."

The robot leans in real close and says:

"Ain’t it awful the way Joe Biden stole the election?”

Could’a happened and could still be happening.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, Republican Traitor and White Supremacist, was the highest bidder among House Republicans for a cherry “chapstick” used by Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. Greene made the winning bid for the lip balm after McCarthy sweetened the deal by promising to attend a donor dinner.

And this occurred while McCarthy was ALLEGEDLY negotiating with President Biden over the debt ceiling. If Republicans refuse to raise the debt limit—which they do without a thought under Republican Presidents, but never Democrat Presidents—the US will default on its debt for the first time in history which could drive interest rates sky high, devastate the US and world economies, destroy confidence in the dollar, and permanently increase the interest rate the US spends on its debt.

Yes, while the country appears to be teetering on default, this is what the GOP does. Large Marge and her ilk ick battle over the lip balm KKKevin McCarthy slathers on his mouth before he places it directly on Thing 45's sphincter.

Democrat Representative Sean Casten put it the best:

“In today’s Democratic caucus meeting, we discussed how devastating a default would be for American families and what we can do to get the GOP to take this seriously. In the House GOP meeting, they auctioned off Kevin McCarthy’s used chapstick.”

That’s the GOP; they don’t give a flying fuck if the country is destroyed.

A nice slab of beefcake is Alvise Rigo, an actor, a model,  and an athlete. But all that matters not because all we need to know is: Would You Hit It?

Then and Now .... Divas

Diana Ross in THE 70s                                                             Diana Ross in HER  70s.

Tina Turner in THE 80s.                                                      Tina Turner in HER 80s.

Madonna in THE 80s.                                                            Madonna in HER 80s.

I Didn't Say It ...

Tina Turner, legend, on her retirement:

“I don’t sing. I don’t dance. I don’t dress up. I was just tired of singing and making everybody happy. That’s all I’d ever done in my life.”

And we thank you.

Now you do you and just be happy.

photo

_____, to GOP House lawmakers at a retreat in Baltimore, on why he’s orange:

“The light bulb. People said what’s with the light bulb. I said here’s the story, and I looked at it. The bulb that we’re being forced to use. Number one, to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”

And now we know … there is not one single mother**king lie he won’t tell.

Oh, and at the same event, he also once again blasted wind energy—which previously said causes cancer—and claimed that the Democratic debates would go off the air if the wind stopped blowing.

photo

Graham Norton, British talk show host, on Boris Johnson:

“In a sweet way, it’s as if the United Kingdom was embarrassed for America, felt like you’re all alone out in the world stage so we found our own angry Cabbage Patch Kid and made him the leader. I wouldn’t trust him to water my plants when I was away but somehow, he is the prime minister.”

Boris is a little _____ Jr, though I imagine Donnie Jr wouldn’t like that much.

photo

Jonnie Reinhart, drag queen, dragging Aaron Schock, disgraced Republican congressman, former self-loathing gay man, and now out and proud gay bar patron and disco boy lover:

“I’m not a confrontational person. And immediately my heart started racing, and I was like, ‘Okay, what am I gonna do?’ I know a lot of people would’ve loved me to just kick him out, or throw a drink at him, or call him out on the mic or just do something really big. But I decided to share a message through song, and I went on stage and I announced, ‘This song goes out to somebody who’s in the audience and it goes out to anybody who votes against gay rights. And I sang ‘F**k You‘ by Lily Allen which was not a very subtle message.”

Schock should get a big fuck you from every member of the LGBTQ community until, and perhaps even after, he actually comes out, instead of posing with go-go boys in bars and hanging around drag shows.

Asshat.

photo

Jerry Falwell Jr, fuming about staff forwarding emails he sent that disparage Liberty University students, staff, and parents to other administrators, and how he’ll fight it:

“I’m not going to dignify the lies that were reported yesterday with a response [but] Liberty owns every single one of those emails. It’s our property. They were working for us when they used our server. Our policies make it clear every email sent on our server is owned by Liberty, and if anybody shares it with anybody outside Liberty, it is theft. And so that’s the underlying crime.”

Methinks this pandering hypocritical f**k protests too much, and I don’t think law enforcement, much less the FBI, will take even a moment to look into this ridiculousness.

You’re going down, Jerry, and you’re probably love it.

photo

Kevin McCarthy, House Minority Leader and _____’s lapdog, on the everyone from the Air Force to Michael Elizabeth Pence and Mother staying at _____ hotels:

"The President's resorts are hotels that he owns, that people are traveling. It's just like any other hotel ... I don't know that that's different than anything else. Is it different than if I go and stay or eat at a Marriott here or eat at the _____?"

Yes, you asshat, because the current Occupant of the White House is making money off of it, with our tax dollars going into his pockets.

The man who doesn’t pay taxes is living off of mine, and yours.

Fuck off, traitor.

photo