Photo of the Week: Madonna

Just in time for the release of some new music, Madonna has also come out with a new face. I'm getting Madonna, with a sprinkling of Lauren Bacall, a hint of Kathleen Turner, and a tinge of Faye Dunaway.

Here she is, through the, ahem, ages.

Just sayin'.

Random Musings

We don’t take a lot of long vacations here at Casa Bob y Casa. We might take a day trip to Charleston, or an overnight to Asheville or Savannah, but long trips? Not so much. Maybe once a year, if that.

So, to leave the house for well over a week to head out to Washington to get married — did I mention I got married, because I did — was quite the problem for the furry kids. We had a friend, and her kids, come in to care for the kids, feed them, play with them, let Ozzo go outside for his business, but our pets, while they liked the idea of being fed and watered and having clean litter boxes, were not keen on strangers … strangers … in their house.

The report was that for most of the week, Ozzo was depressed; MaxGoldberg wouldn’t come out from under the bed, and Miss Consuelo Roca-Jones was never seen at all. In fact, when we learned during our trip that Consuelo never appeared, I worried that she’d somehow gotten out of the house because that bitch er cat never misses the chance to be first in line at meal time.

Only Tuxedo showed up, and we heard that he showed up to supervise. He followed our pet-sitters around the house, checking everything they did, everywhere they went; he watched the dog go outside, and made sure the dishes had the right food; he ordered the treats to be served at the right time, and always used the litter-box after cleaning to make sure it had been done properly.

Of course, after we got home, Ozzo went insane, racing like a bullet around the house; MaxGoldberg and Miss Roca-Jones ran and hid, in a display of temperament, or anger that we dared leave them alone.

And only Tuxedo allowed himself to be greeted and hugged and kissed … by at least one of his Dads.

Ah, pets. They really let you know what’s going on.

Big news from across the pond is that people who live at Buckingham palace — though not the Queen, I think — are bringing their online hook-ups home for the night.

Uh huh. Buckingham Palace staffers have sparked internal security fears by bringing bootie calls, met on dating apps like, oh, say, Grindr, back to their living quarters, ands police guarding the royals are said to be ‘deeply concerned’ at the number of unvetted overnight guests.

Like it’s a freakin’ Motel Sex, er, Six.

According to well-placed sources — Hey Camilla! — many of the Queen’s 800-plus staff use online dating tools, and while most live-in servants — including butlers, maids and kitchen staff — are not allowed to bring guests into Buckingham palace, they can, and do, sign in visitors to their living quarters at St James’s Palace and the Royal Mews.

Still, if it happens there, it’s happening at Fuckingham, too, if you get my drift.

Okay, so marriage equality South Carolina update:

Our Will of the People Fund case, Bradacs v Haley et al, was required by Judge Michelle Childs to submit briefs by today; Childs can either rule without reading the briefs, or after reading.

From what I understand, though, she is bound by the ruling of the Fourth circuit Courts, and should therefore rule, either today, or by the November 13 deadline she set, to allow marriage equality in the state.

That said, let me take a moment to thank Nel, from Rhode Island, and Mark, from Delaware, for their donations to the cause as a wedding gift for Carlos and me. There would be no better gift than to have our marriage recognized in our state.

ThankYouThankYouThankYou.

Lord, this Ebola thing is getting out of hand.

Not the disease itself, but the reposting of who has it, how they got it, whose fault that was, where are they, where they’d go, did they sneeze, or fart, or vomit or crap their pants.

Keep it in perspective people. As I heard on NPR, more people have been married to Larry King — and to Kim Kardastrophe, for that matter — than have contracted Ebola in the country.

Every sneeze isn’t Ebola.

Stop it.

We love Scandal and we love How To Get Away With Murder. There used to be this thing called “Must See TV” and now that’s become, for us, “WTF Just Happened TV.”

I also love that both shows, created by Shonda Rhimes, feature all kinds of people, black and white, and every color in between, gay and straight, men and women, and don’t feed into the stereotypes of any of those folks.

Recently, though, there was a second, very hot, scene between two men on HTGAWM and some folks got their panties in a snit about it; like this woman who Tweeted:

And then Shonda Rhimes Tweeted back:

Good on Shonda!

Speaking of TV, here’s the Hot Man Alert for the New Season:

Brit Dominic West, baring butt, in Showtime's The Affair; Brian Hallisay, the cop with the big beautiful guns on Revenge; Michael Socha, the newest fairy-tale character, Will Scarlett, on Once Upon a Time; and Michael James Shaw, burning up the screen on the upcoming Constantine.

You’re Welcome.

So Renee Zellweger showed up at an even this week looking like, well, not Renee Zellweger, and social media went into snark overdrive.

It really was mean-spirited, and, as happens on these anonymous sites, a free-for-all. But then Zellweger herself weighed into the fray, saying this:

"I'm glad folks think I look different! I'm living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I'm thrilled that perhaps it shows. My friends say that I look peaceful. I am healthy. For a long time I wasn't doing such a good job with that. I took on a schedule that is not realistically sustainable and didn't allow for taking care of myself."

Let me say that if Zellweger had any kind of procedure, that’s her business and her right, and we shouldn’t denigrate her, or any man or woman for doing whatever they want to make themselves happier and more at peace with themselves.

That said, Renee, really? That is not the face of happy and fulfilled; that is a very different face altogether, and we should be able to bring it up in conversation, polite conversation, otherwise it becomes the lifted and tucked and Botoxed elephant in the room, Just sayin’.

Monica Lewinsky’s back, y’all. And am I the only one who finds it curious that she always resurfaces when Hillary Clinton is expected to run for office?

Yeah, Monica, right. But now, Lewinsky has taken on the crusade of online bullying because she says she is the first person to be “destroyed” by the Internet.

Bitch, please. You were attacked and reduced because you f**ked a married man, presidential or not, and then kept the DNA-stained clothing as some kind of trophy.

You really need to stop talking, permanently.

A group of conservative moms in Florida seem to have forced Toys R Us to pull four collectible dolls based on characters from AMC's "Breaking Bad."

Now, this one I don’t have a problem with, because I don’t think a meth-making doll is the kind of ‘toy’ kids should be playing with, though, if an adult, an adult, wants this kind of memento, go right ahead.

Toys R Us says the figures were sold in limited quantities in the adult-action-figure area of its stores but the fact is they were sold in a ‘toy’ store.

I’m kinda with the moms on this one. What do you think?

When former Playboy bunny Jenny McCarthy joined The View I knew she’d become the dumb one — which is saying a lot since Sherri “I’m not sure the Earth is Round” Shepard s still on — but now McCarthy is talking more, and sounder even more stupid.

If that’s possible. See, now she says she’s always felt “transgendered” on the inside:

"I feel like that inside. I always felt like one of the guys wearing, like, a Playboy bunny outfit. I was David Spade’s buddy to begin with, so I was a natural fit [to play a transgender character on Spade’s 90s show Just Shoot Me] and I always felt like his brother. To play kind of the dude, was almost too scary natural."

Seriously? So, you played transgender and that made you think you’re kinda transgender?

Siddown. But that wasn’t the dumbest think this bimbo said. She also went on to say she’d be over the moon if her son was gay:

"Oh my god, I would be so excited. We can shop! Do my hair!"

Right, because that's what every gay boy likes to do!

This gay boy hates shopping, hates the idea of touching Jenny McCarthy’s fried weave, and hates the idea that anyone is asking to interview this moron.

Separated At Birth ... Or the Plastic Surgeon's Office

One of these women is Eurydice Colette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone, more commonly known as Patsy Stone, a creation by Joanna Lumley for the BBC series Absolutely Fabulous, while the other is Ivana Trump, a creation by Donald Trump.

Hard to tell sometimes .... 

Random Musings

So, if you haven’t heard of Chiwetel Ejiofor — pronounced CHOO-ih-tell EDGE-ee-o-for — you soon will. He recently starred on Broadway in Kinky Boots and will most likely be nominated for, and win, an Oscar for 12 Years A Slave.

But, right now, he can be seen in the Starz showing of a BBC production, Dancing On The Edge, about a fictional jazz band — loosely based on Duke Ellington — in 1930s Great Britain.

The music is fabulous, the story is intriguing and, yes, you knew it, I was gonna go shallow.

Chiwetel Ejiofor is gorgeous; those eyes, that accent. Yum.

Over there to Russia anti-gay president Vladimir Putin is trying to assure everyone that The Gays are welcome in his country:

"We are doing everything, both the organizers and our athletes and fans, so that participants and guests feel comfortable in Sochi, regardless of nationality, race or sexual orientation."

Just don’t be gay, though, because the Russian law banning 'gay propaganda' still stands.

I am a huge fan of White Collar, even long before Matt Bomer became the next big thing, and came out of the closet. But this season we have a new character on the show, played by the oh-so-delicious Warren Kole. He’s playing the role of Matt Bomer’s character Neil Caffrey’s “handler.”

Wow, If I could get a job handling either of these two I’d be over the moon.

I adore our cats and we have a standing rule in Casa Bob y Carlos:

1) Bob takes care of what goes into the cats and

B) Carlos takes care of what come out of the cats.

Except when Carlos isn’t home and MaxGoldberg leaves a massive hairball in the doorway to the bathroom, making me in charge of that particular HazMat spill.

I don’t necessarily like a hairless cat but I’d love a hairball-less one. Just sayin’.

Lordy lordy lordy, American Horror Story: Coven just gets better every week. I love that the writers and producers don’t tell just one story — witches and voodoo princesses — but talk about both of those things, and racism, and adultery, and, okay, bestiality — sex with a minotaur kinda counts doesn’t it? — and zombies.

Plus, after last week’s show which featured the brilliant Patti LuPone as a religious wingnut, last night we saw the return of Frances Conroy — Season One’s hot-young-old maid — as a member of the council investigating mysterious happenings at the school.

Plus, there was some Leslie Jordan tossed in there as a Quentin Crisp-esque gay witch.

Heaven; or at least a witchy equivalent.

We haven’t seen much of Renee Zellwigger lately — not that I’m complaining, I always thought she was over-rated — and now I think I know why.

Look at that picture: Renee in January on the left, and Rene last month on the right.

Someone looks like someone else. Nip.Tuck.

Halloween; the Great Gay holiday. Not so much for me — that Great Gay Holiday is The Oscars telecast, followed by The Tonys. But, folks like to dress up and so here’s some:

Martha Stewart as Glinda the Good Witch. Leave to Martha to play against type. And Ryan Seacrest, living in the late 80s. I mean how else do you explain why he’d dress as Michael Crawford from the original B’way production of Phantom. Gay. Gaygaygay.  And Adam Lambert as The genie; there’s a lamp that needs rubbing. Kelly Osbourne as a svelte Dame Edna and Fergie and Josh Duhamel as Elvira and RiffRaff — another 80s flashback … I guess there are no new ideas. Hugh Hefner and the Missus, Crystal Harris, as Robin Thicke and Mylie Cyrus — this is even creepier than the original. And last, and least, Derek Hough, spiked hair and guy-liner — I think this is less costume and more half-priced drink night at Boy Bar.

Still, speaking of Hough, let’s dish on his sister Julianne, and her Halloween “costume.” She decided to go as a character called Crazy Eyes from Orange Is The New Black and thought she’d use blackface.

Blackface. In 2013. Either she’s ignorant — and that’s a distinct possibility — or she’s stupid — another thought — or she knew that by going out in an offensive blackface moment she’d be going Mylie Cyrus on us and having everyone talk about her.

I mean, seriously, she didn’t think this was wrong on every level? And the person who applied the makeup didn’t think it was offensive? And her friends thought this was appropriate?

No, I think she knew it would cause a stir and get her name in the media and then she’d say sorry and we’d forgive.

I don’t. She’s offensive and stupid.

 “There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Now, Guy Fieri. The platinum-spiked-haired-not-gay-ALLEGEDLY Food Network host. Last night , after a flight back from San Francisco with his hairdresser, Ariel Ramirez, the two men got into a drunken brawl in the front seat of an SUV with the hairdresser shrieking at Guy, “You’re a f**king d**khead.”

Sometimes these things just write themselves.

Carry on.

Kanye West, fashion designer and “real” person.

A few years ago, Kanye teamed up with Louis Vuitton to design and sell sneakers that ranged in price from $840 to $1,140, Kanye has been known to drop a buttload of cash on his wardrobe, as every good gay with money is known to do.

But now Kanye is singing a different tune, because now he keeps shrieking about how expensive LV clothes and accessories cost; he says the prices are “too extreme” and as a result, he will no longer design for the company.

But he did design a plain white T for A.P.C that sells for $120.00.

Delusional say what?

Friday night is Grimm night at our house. We loves some Grimm and some David Giuntoli.

But, recently, the man who plays his captain, the actor Sasha Roiz, is piquing my interest. 

Hotness.

And now we have Dracula, starring the, for me at any rate, oozing-with-sex-appeal Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Vlad.

Bite me. Please.

Celine Dion has a new album out and she will be all over TV shrieking and squawking about it. I broke my ear plugs out of mothballs.

Seriously, after Titanic all I thought of what t hat I didn’t want her heart to go on.

Just go away.

Random Musings

Arizona Governor, Jan “Eva Braun” Brewer has signed an elections bill that basically wipes out Libertarian and other third-party candidates, because it requires that they collect a practically unattainable number of signatures to be placed on the ballot in Arizona. For example, Green Party candidates would actually have to collect more signatures than they have party members.

That’s Jan Brewer, effectively saying that certain people in Arizona do not have the right to run for office. Maybe she’s less Eva and more Adolf?

I think everyone has a doppelganger—German for look-alike—and some people try make themselves look like someone else. I mean, women have done the Farrah hairstyle, and then the Rachel; people dress like celebrities, change their makeup like celebrities, but for most of us, it’s just a thang.

Not so for one Nicholas Ryan, a 32-year-old aspiring actor from New Jersey, who has undergone extensive cosmetic procedures so he can look like Ryan Gosling. In a two hour surgery, he underwent $5,000 worth of Botox and filler injections to make his face look like Gosling. His temples were filled out, his brow was Botoxed; his cheeks were injected with fillers to make them less hollow; his laugh lines were filled, too. And his entire jaw was rebuilt. He hopes the procedures will help him hit the big time in Hollywood—as well as make him a hit with the ladies.

Um, Nicholas? One thing, hon? If a movie producer or director wants Ryan Gosling, wouldn’t they just hire Ryan Gosling? Especially given that even after the 5K you spent, you don’t even look like Ryan’s long lost cousin, Jaime Gosling.

I like this story.

The mayor of Vicco, Kentucky, Johnny Cummings, has won special recognition from the state's Commission on Human Rights.

The commission said it honored Cummings with the Kentucky Unbridled Spirit for Justice Award for his efforts to create local LGBT civil-rights protections in his community. Vicco gained national fame last winter for adopting an LGBT-rights ordinance. Vicco is the fourth Kentucky community to pass an LGBT-rights ordinance and the first rural town to do so.

Way to go, Vicco, and way to go Mayor Cummings.

James Gandolfini died yesterday and the whole world seems to have come to a stop.

Now, I have nothing against Gandolfini, and am sorry for his family having to endure the death of a husband and father, but this is the big news story this morning?

Wildfires are taking people’s homes out West and we’re gonna spend fifteen minutes on GMA sitting in a New Jersey diner talking about an actor who passed away?

If you’ve ever wondered why we get nothing done in this country, it’s because we come to a halt when a TV actor dies, but keep on moving when people lose their homes.

Just sayin’. And before anyone gets all pissy about me denigrating this actor, let me say again, I’m sorry to his family for their loss, but this is not, and should not be, the big news story of the day.

Proponents of marriage equality have a new victory to toast with more and more wineries coming out in support of the cause.

Stein Family Wines, for example, will donate $1 to the nonprofit Freedom to Marry for every purchase of its wonderfully named Same-Sex Meritage, a Bordeaux-style red that blends notes of advocacy with a witty title. 

Stand Tall Wine Co. donates 1% of its proceeds of the sales of its Generic Pinot Noir to the Napa LGBTQ Project, while one of the largest labels, Barefoot Wine & Bubble, has been donating to LGBT organizations for 25 years.

Biogio Cry & Estate Wines, a New York-based company, has created Égalité, a sparkling wine from Burgundy whose name translates to “Equality” and has pledged $1,000 donations  to groups like GLSEN [Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network], the Trevor Project, and the Ali Forney Center, and hopes that same-sex brides and grooms will raise a glass of their bubbly at their weddings.

And many wineries are also creating special weekend visits for the LGBT community. Out in the Vineyard, a company that curates wine events for LGBT travelers, is hosting the Gay Wine Weekend 2013 where visitors will have the opportunity to celebrate Pride Month with tastings and tours of 10 of the leading vineyards of the Sonoma Valley, with proceeds benefiting the Face-to-Face AIDS Project.

Wine and LGBT rights. It's a good blend.

I like me some Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

In addition to making some rather interesting movie choices--from 50/50 to Inception to Batman to Looper to Premium Rush--he is also quite a handsome lad.

Just sayin'.

And this one kills me …. Down there in Texas, Congressman, and rabidly anti-LGBT Republican—it kinda goes hand-in-hand in Texas—Ralph Hall showed up at an event last week, mingling with other guests, making small talk, enjoying the food and drink. But, apparently, Hall had no idea it was an LGBT event for the Victory Fund.

As Astro might say, Ruh roh.

Hall and his staffers were under the impression that they were attending an event for a fellow congressman, an event scheduled for that same day but in a different location. After being welcomed into the event and offered refreshments, Hall inquired about the congressman whom he was there to support and after being told it was a Big Old Queer Party, Hall quickly made his exit, presumably after using the men’s room to wash off The Gay.

Good news …. Four-time Olympic gold medalist and LGBT activist Greg Louganis is getting married to Johnny Chaillot, his longtime partner.

"I finally met my soul mate – the more I fall in love with Johnny, the more I fall in love with myself. This is what the universe had in store for both of us."—Greg Louganis

Congrats to both of them!

Just because ..... Joe Manganiello on a raft, in a pool is what I would call a wet dream in every sense of the word.

Again .... Just sayin'.

Paula Deen is being sued by Lisa Jackson, a former manager of one of her restaurants, who claims Deen’s brother, Bubba—and I’m’a just leave that there—Hiers sexually assaulted her, but since the release of Deen’s deposition that case has become all about Deen’s use of the n-word.

Deen doesn’t deny these allegations at all, and was very open about her use of the n word and dressing waiters as slaves in plantation-themed restaurants. Here are some excerpts of her deposition from The Huffington Post:

Paula Deen on her use of the n-word:

Lawyer: Have you ever used the N-word yourself?

Deen: Yes, of course.

Lawyer: Okay. In what context?

Deen: Well, it was probably when a black man burst into the bank that I was working at and put a gun to my head.

Lawyer: Okay. Well, did you use the N-word to him as he pointed a gun in your head at your face?

Deen: Absolutely not.

Lawyer: Well, then, when did you use it?

Deen: Probably in telling my husband.

Lawyer: Okay. Have you used it since then?

Deen: I’m sure I have, but it’s been a very long time. Paula Deen on her brother sexually assaulting a woman:

Lawyer: Are you aware of Mr. Hiers admitting that he engaged in racially and sexually inappropriate behavior in the workplace?

Deen: I guess.

Lawyer: Okay. Well, have you done anything about what you heard him admit to doing?

Deen: My brother and I have had conversations. My brother is not a bad person. Do humans behave inappropriately? At times, yes. I don’t know one person that has not. My brother is a good man. Have we told jokes? Have we said things that we should not have said, that — yes, we all have. We all have done that, every one of us.

Paula Deen on a plantation-style wedding for her brother:

Lawyer: Do you recall using the words “really southern plantation wedding”?

Deen: Yes, I did say I would love for Bubba to experience a very southern style wedding, and we did that. We did that.

Lawyer: Okay. You would love for him to experience a southern style plantation wedding?

Deen: Yes.

Lawyer: That’s what you said?

Deen: Well, something like that, yes. And -–

Lawyer: Is there any possibility, in your mind, that you slipped and used the word “n—-r”?

Deen: No, because that’s not what these men were. They were professional black men doing a fabulous job.

Lawyer: Why did that make it a -– if you would have had servers like that, why would that have made it a really southern plantation wedding?

Deen: Well, it –- to me, of course I’m old but I ain’t that old, I didn’t live back in those days but I’ve seen the pictures, and the pictures that I’ve seen, that restaurant represented a certain era in America.

Lawyer: Okay. What era in America are you referring to?

Deen: Well, I don’t know. After the Civil War, during the Civil War, before the Civil War.

Lawyer: Right. Back in an era where there were middle-aged black men waiting on white people.

Deen: Well, it was not only black men, it was black women.

Lawyer: Sure. And before the Civil War –- before the Civil War, those black men and women who were waiting on white people were slaves, right?

Deen: Yes, I would say that they were slaves.

Lawyer: Okay.

Deen: But I did not mean anything derogatory by saying that I loved their look and their professionalism.

Lawyer: And when you described it [the restaurant] to Miss Jackson [...] Do you know what word you used to identify their race? [...] Black or African-American?

Deen: Black. I would use the word black. I don’t usually use African-Americans. I try to go along with whatever the black race is wanting to call themselves at each given time.

Wow. She just digs in deeper.

Now I get that times have changed, and they certainly have since Paula Deen was a child, but her use of the n-word today is quite upsetting. And her notion that the ‘black waiters doing a fabulous job’ don’t count as an n-word, is equally troubling.

And this last line of hers, “I try to go along with whatever the black race is wanting to call themselves at each given time” is the most troubling of all.

Now, does her use of the n-word, or her backwards, moronic, racially-tinged opinions have anything to do with the case? Not really. If Deen has used, and continues to use, racist epithets, it has no bearing on whether or not her brother sexually assaulted one of her managers, but it does give us a glimpse into the mind of Paula Deen, and that doesn’t look very pretty.

Y'all know I ain't no fan of Find-Em-Date-Em-Dump-Em-Write-A-Song-About-Em Taylor Swift, but I gotta give the old gal props for her Tweet this week after the birth of Reality Show Whore and Egotistical Rapper's spawn:

Watch It If You Dare!

The Evolution of Lohan's Face

Please keep in mind, The Everchanging Lohan is just twenty-five years old. 
So, let's start in 2003, with fresh-faced, wholesome Lohan, age 16:

2004:

2005:

2006:

2007

2008:

2009:

2010:

2011:

2012:

Yes folks, that's what twenty-six looks like in Lohan Years.