Meme Dump

Around The House on Christmas Eve!

Welcome to Casa Bob y Carlos! Since we keep Christmas pretty much to ourselves, and the cats and dog, it's a nice calming, peace-filled time; plus, it doesn't hurt that we both have the week off, so, yeah, there's that, too.

But we do like a little decoration around the house, though we don’t go overboard like a lot of these Southerners who have trees in every room—seriously, the bathroom?—but we like shiny and pretty and quirky, too.

The Christmas table is ready, big balls, because we like big balls and we cannot lie.

And a quartet of some of our favorite ornaments … beginning with Latino Santa…our three Asian Wise men, huddled beneath a disco ball because, well, gay… a ‘Nice ‘one for Carlos—sadly, every single photo of the ‘Naughty’ one came out blurry, go figure … and lastly, my Christmas Wish …Peace.

The candles on the mantles have flickering lights that come on at 5PM and go off promptly at 10PM; sounds cheesy, but with curious cats, a live flame is a dangerous thing.

Some ornaments nestled in fake snow and ice, and a few ornaments decorating the windows between the living room and sunroom. The snowflakes are metal and very beautiful, but on the tree,  they get lost, so hanging them in the window is the next best thing.

My mother used to do something called Tole painting, and she painted all kinds of Santa’s and Mister and Missus Claus that we put around the house … it’s like she’s here every year.

And finally, who doesn’t have a reindeer on the kitchen table?

Just sayin’ ….

Merry Merry and Happy Happy!

Wedding Week Repost: Make The Yuletide Gay

Yes, I know it's not Christmas yet, but since we're getting married this week, I'm gonna post one because it looks like a party.

I love a good happy jolly Christmas story and since I didn't have one I thought I'd repost this ....

Make The Yuletide Gay

So we decorated the tree last night. I had one of those days of running around, Post Office, bank, store, cook dinner, do the laundry, sweep, clean.....a real CinderFella, I am. And so the mood soured as the day went on. I hauled the box with the tree inside it — yeah,it's fake, okay, I got lots a pine trees in my yard so why do I need another one left to die in my living room?

Yeah, it's that kind of mood. Anyway, I got the tree, the ornaments, the garland, the lights, for inside and out, all out of the garage while Carlos was at work. He came home, and of course said I should have waited for him to get the tree out of the garage.

Wait for you, I sneer, Then we wouldn't have a Christmas tree up until Easter.

Man, I can be a bitch! It's like Joan Crawford and the PepsiCo Brad.

Don't fuck with me, fella. This isn't my first time at the rodeo.

So we eat dinner first, a delicious baked chicken breast, over rice with black beans, corn, tomato, poblano pepper, and a green mole. Delicoso! Then I change into my jackboots and Nazi uniform, because I am a tyrant about the tree. I don't know where it comes from, but there it is.

Put the little ones on the inside! It gives the tree more depth.

I'm Martha Freakin' Hitler. More depth? What in the hell does that even mean?

No, you have to put some on the bottom.

Go to the OTHER side.

Put 'em on the back.

Not those! Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

I goosestep around the tree, inspecting it, moving one ornament from branch to branch. We ran out of ornament hangers and Carlos walks away for a few minutes; he returns with a box of.......paper.....clips.

Paper clips! We are white trash. At last. Next year I think I'll get a stapler and a glue gun. Not for the tree, for Carlos.

Why not just string tin foil and plastic wrap around the tree, It's shiny and purty!

You put two blue ones side-by-side.

You have three on ONE branch!

You are not allowed to decorate the tree next year.

Of course Carlos, being the sweetest human being ever, simply smiles at my, well, histrionics, shall we say; my order barking. My just plain barking. My snapping. My yelling. My being a big old raging bitch. Tis the season! I need an egg nog, with extra nog, if you get my meaning.

Finally, finished. And without bloodshed. Well, Carlos bled a little when he jabbed his finger with a hanger, but I was out of the room, I swear. The cats will vouch for me! We light up the tree and sit and relax. It does look pretty but it needs more ornaments. I say that every year and every year we buy more and put them on. Pretty soon we'll do without the tree all together and just pile the ornaments in the corner and call it Christmas.

Sorry I snapped, I say.

It's okay, he mutters, his lower lip jutting out like a shelf.

Where's my gun?

That's a joke...........I don't have a gun.

Hmmmm. Maybe Santa will bring me one.

Christmas Tree Tour

So, the other night Carlos and I set up the Christmas tree, and, well, I must pat myself on the back because I refrained from being a little too Martha "Adolf" Stewart while we decorated.

Our tree is an eclectic mix of traditional balls, and then some odds'n'ends kind of ornaments we picked up in different spots. The tree doesn't have a theme--we don't do themes--it's simply a mishmash of what i like and what Carlos likes, with a little of what we both like thrown in.

So, without further ado, a Christmas Tree tour......

 

A little handmade ornament we got in Asheville;
it reminds me of African art dolls.





We have the Three Wise Men--he's just one--but
ours are Asian.




Carlos loves Cappuchino.






















Carlos also loves shiny things.



One of us is this........



The other one is this.






















And what's a tree without a gift?



And I found three of these cheesy
glitter trees,
and of course bought them all!





And finally, what's Christmas without a wish?



It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Johnny Mathis..... And our tree went up just last night.

Christmas Survey

I saw this over at Tales of the Sissy and thought I'd answer them here in my corner of the world.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I like to use both, depending on what it is. The bags you can recycle, so it can be a Green Christmas.

2. Natural tree or artificial?

Well, when I would visit my parents' house in the Sierra Nevada mountains of California, they had an artificial tree, because, as my Dad would say, "I've got pine trees and fir trees all over the yard, why do I need to bring one indoors?" I hated the idea of an artificial tree. I thought it was so cheesy and embarrassing, but, cut to me just a few years later. Artificial tree; and telling friends that I have pine trees in my yard why do I need to bring one indoors. Oy!

3. When do you put up the tree?

We try to do it the Sunday after Thanksgiving, but this year we had a small coven of witches--see post called Aftermath-- visiting so we waited another week.

4. When do you take the tree down?

One week into the New Year. Even artificial trees look like they're dying if you keep 'em up too long.

5. Do you like eggnog?

I enjoy the 'nog' part. The egg part? Not so much.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

I received a bicycle from my parents one year. My Dad used to ride his bike through the neighborhood, a very hilly neighborhood, and my little one-speed wasn't doing me any favors. My father wrote a poem about following him "uphill and down" and at the end was the location of my gift. I nearly tore the house apart racing into the garage to find my Schwinn.

7. Hardest person to buy for?

My father, who has everything he wants or gets it himself. So you have to listen carefully to what he says and then you'll hear a clue in there, and BAM, giftage!

8. Easiest person to buy for?

I'd say Carlos, because he's here ALL THE TIME! And you can get hints all year long; or see hints all year long, like the day he was leaving for work and it was quite cold out. He had on the nice green sweater......with about twenty bleach spots on the front. Hint # 1: sweater.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

Not being a particularly religious person, I do not. Carlos, being an even less religious person, definitely not. My mother had a pretty one though; all the figurines were sort of a cream glaze, they looked like miniature marble statues, and it looked so beautiful.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Definitely mail. I just don't think email cards pack the punch of an actual card. A few clicks of the mouse and you're done doesn't do it for me. Plus, you get an email Christmas card and see that it has been sent to about thirty other people and it just doesn't seem as special.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Now I'll preface this by saying that I love my mother dearly, and miss her something fierce, but one Christmas she gave me this knit sweater that was striped.

HORIZONTAL stripes!

Horizontal BLACK AND YELLOW stripes with sporadic stripes of red and green and blue.

I looked like a fat gay bumblebee.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

I love Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. It's the movie where Bing first sang 'White Christmas.' The movie, White Christmas came after. Der Bingle sittin' a the piano, singing, and tapping his pipe on the Christmas bell ornaments. Aaaaaaah, Christmas.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

One year I was done Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving, and I could relax and watch all the special activities that happen at Christmas; the rushing around, the pushing, the shoving, the chasing down of that one special gift. That was ONE year. Then I reverted to form and got back to, well, I don't do last minute shopping. I do the minute BEFORE the last minute shopping. I'm not a complete fool.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

No, I just can't re-gift. If I don't like something, I may gift it to a charity, but I won't use it as a gift. I mean, picture it, me giving someone a knit sweater, with horizontal black and yellow stripes? I couldn't. I just couldn't!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Um......food? I'm not big on candy or sweets, so those are out. Although, Carlos is the MasterBaker in the family, and he loves to do cakes and so on. Sometimes when you can't find him, he's in the kitchen with the door locked, masterbaking for hours! He made a mean Pumpkin cheesecake at Thanksgiving.

16. White or colored lights on the tree?

I prefer white, although when I see colored lights I always thinks they're so pretty. Or is it cheap? No, pretty.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

'White Christmas' for one. But I also love 'O Holy Night.'

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

We usually do Christmas by ourselves and keep it quiet and simple and lovely.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

I always forget Comet, but since I found this survey on another blog I was able to get them all right. Go figure: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

We just got a beautiful glass star from my father for our tree top. Years ago I'd bought the star for my mom and dad, and now dad has given it to us. Before that, I don't think we had anything, unless we strapped a Santa hat to one of the cats and shoved it up the tree.

21. Open presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Carlos wants Christmas Eve, but I say wait for Christmas Day. We've done both, but I'm more 'traditional' in the idea of Christmas presents on Christmas Day.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

The gimme gimme gimme. The notion that spending a ton of money makes it a better Christmas. And what Mark In DE said over on Tales Of The Sissy: Right-wing religious nutcases who get mad at businesses for not using the word 'Christmas', but using the word 'Holidays' instead.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?

All colors all shapes all sizes. The homos love their shiny glittery balls, um, ornaments.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

Since it's usually just me and Carlos we like to cook together and make a nice special romantic dinner. So, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as I'm having it with him.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?

I tell everyone I want Peace On Earth, and that I've been asking for it for years but this year I'm a wee bit more hopeful.

26. Will you bake any cookies?

I like to make Oatmeal Cranberry cookies because they taste like Christmas. I am not a big fan of the Gingerbread or the Sugar. But that's just me.

Make The Yuletide Gay

So we decorated the tree last night. I had one of those days of running around, Post Office, bank, store, cook dinner, do the laundry, sweep, clean.....a real CinderFella, I am. And so the mood soured as the day went on. I hauled the box with the tree in--yeah it's fake, okay, I got lots a pine trees in my yard so why do I need another one left to die in my living room? Yeah, it's that kind of mood. Anyway, I got the tree, the ornaments, the garland, the lights, for inside and out, all out of the garage while Carlos was at work. He came home, and of course said I should have waited for him to get the tree out of the garage.

Wait for you, I sneer, Then we wouldn't have a Christmas tree up until Easter. Man, I can be a bitch! It's like Joan Crawford and the PepsiCo board. Don't fuck with me, fella. This isn't my first time at the rodeo.

So we eat dinner first, a delicious baked chicken breast, over rice with black beans, corn, tomato, poblano pepper, and a green mole. Delicoso! Then I change into my jackboots and Nazi uniform, because I am a tyrant about the tree. I don't know where it comes from, but there it is.

Put the little ones on the inside! It gives the tree more depth. I'm Martha Freakin' Hitler. More depth? What in the hell does that even mean?

No, you have to put some on the bottom.

Go to the OTHER side.

Put 'em on the back.

Not those! Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

I goosestep around the tree, inspecting it, moving one ornament from branch to branch. We ran out of ornament hangers and Carlos walks away for a few minutes; he returns with a box of.......paper.....clips.

Paper clips! We are white trash. At last. Next year I think I'll get a stapler and a glue gun. Not for the tree, for Carlos.

Why not just string tin foil and plastic wrap around the tree, It's shiny and purty!

You put two blue ones side-by-side.

You have three on ONE branch!

You are not allowed to decorate the tree next year.

Of course Carlos, being the sweetest human being ever, simply smiles at my, well, histrionics, shall we say; my order barking. My just plain barking. My snapping. My yelling. My being a big old raging bitch. Tis the season! I need an egg nog, with extra nog, if you get my meaning.

Finally, finished. And without bloodshed. Well, Carlos bled a little when he jabbed his finger with a hanger, but I was out of the room, I swear. The cats will vouch for me! We light up the tree and sit and relax. It does look pretty but it needs more ornaments. I say that every year and every year we buy more and put them on. Pretty soon we'll do without the tree all together and just pile the ornaments in the corner and call it Christmas.

Sorry I snapped, I say.

It's okay, he mutters, his lower lip jutting out like a shelf.

Where's my gun?

That's a joke...........I don't have a gun.

Hmmmm. Maybe Santa will bring me one.