I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

Aren't they more than enough divorce lawyers in the world?
I mean, apparently not, because Tony Parker's divorce lawyer, Richard Orsinger, has quit the case, citing conflict of interest.

What? Is he representing Eva Longoria-soon-to-be-free-of-the-Parker?

Um, no. It seems that the reason for the conflict is that Orsinger also represents Tony Parker's former San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry, whose wife Erin Barry was ALLEGEDLY exchanging sexual textuals with Tony, and is ALLEGEDLY the main reason Eva Longoria filed for divorce.

So, how does a high-powered D-I-V-O-R-C-E lawyer like Orsinger forget he is representing to men divorcing their wives because one man ALLEGEDLY textually cheated with the other man's wife?

Orsinger says he wasn't initially aware that Brent Barry was in any way connected to Tony Parker's case when he filed divorce papers for Parker on November 19, and he is now representing Brent in divorce from Erin.

Oops. Small world.

Even though her 'Inferno' director--you know, the movie where she was to play a porn star--was ALLEGEDLY relieved that he'd found another actress to take over the role from Lindsay Lohan, it looks like her career is not exactly over.

I mean, what does a recovering drug addict, ALLEGED kidnapper and car thief do now?

Dancing With The Stars!

A source--and by source, I mean the guy that regularly collects Lohan's urine for testing--says that reality TV show, and trainwreck for wannabes, Dancing With The Stars is interested in adding Lohan to the cast next season.

The source says: "'Dancing with the Stars' producers have had Lindsay on their wish list of castmates for a very long time. And though they've been wary of Lohan's history before, they are taking notice of her recent and productive stay at Betty Ford treatment center.

The source--who simply cannot stop talking--goes on to say that Lohan's next career choice will be heavily tied to what's best for her sobriety. "Lindsay won't be making any decisions about what she chooses for her next project without consulting first with her treatment team. This wasn't mandated by the court, her advisers or medical team, but Lindsay has taken that step herself, which is a very, very positive sign."

Her treatment team? Let's hope Mama Dina doesn't play for that team.

Carnie Wilson was a spokesperson for a food delivery service called Fresh Diet until recently when the company let the singer-actress go.

Slow business?

Bad economy?

Um, no, it was because Carnie got fat while she was ALLEGEDLY on a diet!

Fresh Diet spokesperson Ezzy Duchman told Star, snarkily, that "Carnie Wilson was let go as spokesperson for The Fresh Diet after losing only 19 lbs. on the program--and then gaining it all back (plus some) after she launched her own cheesecake company."

So, she's hawking diet food while opening a cheesecake business? Did no one see this coming?

Duchman claims the Wilson Phillips star was cheating on them, and her diet, by "promoting her cheesecakes while she was supposed to be only eating our three meals and two snacks a day."

Maybe the two snacks were cheesecakes?

Sadly, though, Carnie, who went from 300 to 150 pounds back in 1999 after gastric bypass surgery is now back up to around 230 lbs, and that caused Fresh Diet to drop her from their business, and instantly remove her image from the corporate website.

Duchman, who sounds like one skinny bitch, goes on: "She didn't stick to it, and she didn't cut weight. We had to cut ties with her. It seemed that she was eating more food than just our meals. We always saw her baking on her reality show. We believe she wasn't sticking to the plan and she wasn't losing weight. If you're baking cheesecake and selling it, then you can't promote a diet company."

I guess no one bothered to tell that to Carnie.

Oh, Kate Gosselin!

Just when I thought the world was safe from your dancing, and media-whoreness, here you are again, taking yet another tour through the press to let everyone know that two of her 26 children--or something like that--Alexis and Collin were not "expelled" from school for behavioral issues.

She even took to The Today Show to let us all know--as if we care--that the whole family is doing "wonderfully."

As for the expelled kiddies, Kate muttered, "The school would never use that word. [The school] did not feel like they could meet their needs anymore, so it was decided they should leave, for now."

Couldn't meet their needs? Did they not have a special trailer for them to relax in between classes? Was there no craft services, just a cafeteria filled with :::gasp:::: regular kids? No film crew following them around as they take tests and study?

Nope, because now Alexis and Collin now have a private tutor, and Kate, of course, always the blame at her ex-husband's feet, saying the kids have problems because they miss their Daddy since he no longer appears on TV with them.

Keep selling those kids Kate.

Who cares about much they may be hurting ass long as they bring in a paycheck, right?

The Kardashian sisters--Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Krappy, and Krusty....why does everything have to be 'K' with them--are seeking to kut ties with a venture that sold prepaid debit kards under their name after koming under attakk for the kard's high fees.

Funny, however, that when the kard was launched a month or so ago, those wakky Kardashian's were happy as klams to pokket a paycheck. And they even aimed the kard at kolleg kids who watch their show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Now, an attorney for the sisters sent a letter to all parties affiliated with the kard asking them to immediately stop using the names and images of the three sisters.

Like Kim's Big Ass would fit on a kredit kard.

Still, the notice came after Konnecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal warned that he would investigate the program to see if it violated state laws to protect konsumers, and he went as far as to say that the kard's fees are "predatory."

Just like a Kardashian!

 

If she wasn't such an idiot, I'd almost feel bad for her.

See, way back in 2008, when the The View's in-house conserva-douche, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, introduced then-VP nominee, and future quitting, lying, scheming, media,whoring, fucktard, Mama Grizzly Bore at political rallies in Florida political rallies, Dimbulb Hasselbeck thought it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Not so much.

"I am more than honored to be there," Elisabeth said back in the day, introducing The Bore. "So, that's an honor and I'm excited to do it and I'll have some stories, I'm sure, on Monday."

Turns out the story ended. Since the Bore lost the election, she has no use for Hasselbeck, and now Hasselbeck is left feeling used and confused.

An insider--and by insider, I mean, Barbara Walters--says: "Elisabeth feels used by the former governor. She stood up and did everything she could to help get S***h into the White House, expecting to have made a friend for life. Elisabeth isn't fake. You might not like her politics, but she is a very genuine person. If she likes someone, she will do whatever she can to help them."

Elisabeth, Elisabeth, Elisabeth.

I knew she was a user the minute she started flapping those lipsticked pit-bull lips.

And you should have, too.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......

Earlier this month, "actress" Jessica Alba made headlines when she said in an interview that "good actors never use [scripts]."

Now, I know what you're thinking. This means Jessica Alba uses scripts all the time. Well, she ought to, because more of the interview has been released and Alba is making no friends anywhere at all in Hollywood.

Jessica Alba admits that she contemplated quitting acting during the filming of 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer': "[The director told me] 'It looks too real. It looks too painful. Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica.' He was like, 'Don't do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.'"

See, since the director wanted to computer-generate Alba's tears, it started her thinking "Am I not good enough? Are my instincts and my emotions not good enough? Do people hate them so much that they don't want me to be a person? Am I not allowed to be a person in my work? And so I just said, 'F**k it. I don't care about this business anymore.'"

Should'a continued along that line of thought and just walked away, perhaps to a job more suited to your talents, like a cocktail waitress or pretty secretary.

But Alba doesn't take the blame for her bad acting, or her bad movies, saying the only reason her movies, um, underperform at the box office is: "First-time directors."

First writers, now directors. Good luck finding work.

Oh Courtney.

Drunk. Nekkid. Now this.

A celebrity jeweler says Courtney Love hasn't returned nearly $114,000 worth of borrowed baubles, and he is suing to get them back.

Love ALLEGEDLY borrowed two white gold and diamond chains, a white gold, floral-design mesh bracelet and a pair of white gold and diamond pave hoop earrings at the end of September. Or, so says Jacob & Co., who filed a lawsuit this week, saying she only returned the bracelet, despite demands for the other pieces.

Courtney has ALLEGEDLY indicated to the jeweler that she lost the other items, but their agreement specified that she was responsible for them "regardless of loss or damage."

Well.......yeah.

The lawsuit seeks the gems or their $113,700 value.

Poor Courtney, but I guess when you get high and take off all your clothes, the jewels come off, too.

Oh, Mama Grizzly Bore. Take a little time off from the publicity tour that is your life and try being a parent, before you become a grandma again. Or visit your daughter in prison.

It seems that Life & Style magazine has some exclusive interviews with some of homophobe Willow Palin's former friends that suggest that the The Life & Times Of Willow Palin reads almost like a page out of Lindsay Lohan's biography.

According to classmates close to her, the middle Palin child ALLEGEDLY "chugged" vodka at the tender age of 15, as well as took part in a 1 a.m. drug deal!

Last Christmas, according former friend--emphasis on former--Lance Nezaticky, Willow was spotted in the deserted parking lot of a Target store at 1AM with a man who invited the Palin teen into his car where he ALLEGEDLY sold her over $20 worth of marijuana to the teen.

Nezaticky insists the story is true, and claims that Willow bought "really great stuff."

Okay, so the word of one former friend doesn't mean much, unless.....

Another former friend, Matt Scott ALLEGES that he saw similar destructive behavior out of Willow. His story's just a little more believable, as he claims that he saw her at a house party drinking with friends--although he calls it bingeing: “I saw her drinking from a bottle of Monarch. She was chugging it pretty hard. She was like, ‘I just want to drink.’”

Well, I would say who can blame her, considering the hot mess that is her family, but.....when is the Mama Grizzly Bore gonna confront these issues....or even the issue of the online Facebook bullying?

I guess it's more important that she focus on her other daughter, the unwed single mom who dances on TV.

So, how about that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker?

Tony is a big old cheater, though he claims he's just an emotional cheat. And now his friends are coming to his side saying Eva isn't quite the good little wife she's trying to portray.

A friend--and by friend, I mean someone who sat next to them one time at a restaurant--says: "Eva has been no angel, either. When they first got married, they both agreed to spend as much time with each other as possible. They knew it would be a challenge with them working in different states, but Eva's part-time taping schedule for 'Desperate Housewives' and the resources they had meant it wouldn't be that hard."

Hmmm, she works in California and he's on the road nine months a year. Yeah, no one saw this coming. As time went by, it became obvious that the couple were spending more and more time apart, with Tony in Texas and Eva in Los Angeles.
The friend--who once parked Eva's car while she got her nails done--says: "During the first year of marriage, Eva partially lived on an plane, visiting Tony the minute the director shouted 'cut' on the set of 'Housewives'. Eva didn't care about the lavish Hollywood parties she was missing or the fantastic private events she was invited to. All Eva wanted to do was be with Tony and build a life together, but things started to change as she got more and more sucked into the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle."
Both parties have filed for divorce in their home states, Eva in California and Tony in Texas.
Even in divorce they can't seem to get together.


Adult film star Capri Anderson--don't call her a prostitute because prostitutes have sex for money and adult film stars have sex for money on film--who was with Charlie Sheen the night of his nekkid breakdown at the Plaza in New York City is telling her story.

In an interview with ABC's 'Good Morning America' and 'Nightline,' Anderson says: "He was, from the beginning of the night, very loud and he had no hesitations when it came to using derogatory language or cuss words."

And still, Not-A-Prostitute, Capri went back to his room.

She continues: "Towards the latter half of the night, it got really bad. He started yelling racial slurs. But it wasn't until he put his hands around my neck that I really thought to myself, you have gotten yourself in a bad, bad situation."

Yeah, when they are loud and obnoxious and use derogatory language and racial slurs it's all fun. But as soon as the choking starts, it's time to collect your money and hit the streets.

And yet she continues to speak: "I'm not going to stand down and be completely walked over, mistreated. My whole life has been changed. I think that this story and this treatment sends a message in itself and this is clearly something that's not right. It's not right to hurt people. It's not right to scare people. It's not right to carry on with such disregard for the people around you."

I guess she wants to be treated with dignity, like she is on a movie set when a group of strange men jerk off on her.

Capri Anderson plans to file charges against Charlie Sheen for battery, assault and false imprisonment.

But Sheen's attorney, who must be on speed dial and available 24/7, says: "Ms. Capri never made any allegation of wrongful conduct on the part of Mr. Sheen the night of the incident. She has posted on her website that she was 'fine' after the incident, but if you wanted to see more of her enter the web site for money. We will defend this lawsuit vigorously and will never pay her a dime. These allegations against Mr. Sheen are completely false, and are an blatant attempt to cash in on his celebrity."

Hmmm, the drunk drug addict and the pron star. It's so hard to pick sides in stories like these.