Bobservations

Yesterday I woke up and, because it was still dark outside, noticed a flashing light. I looked over and saw Carlos’ alarm clock flashing 12:00 because clearly the power had gone out sometime during the night. I nudged him.

“Charlie [that’s a name his Aunt Gloria calls him, and so do I from time to time] Charlie? The power went out.”

He mutters, Uh oh, and I doze off again. But I hear him get up, and hear the shower running and about a half-hour later, I wake up. I stumbled to the kitchen and he says:

“The power went off last night.”

I say:

“I know, I woke you up and told you.”

“No. Max woke me up by crawling on top of me.”

“Maybe Max began crawling on top of you because I woke you up to tell you the power had gone out and you moved and woke him up.”

“I think you were dreaming.”

Yes, I dreamed the power went out and dreamed that I woke up and told Carlos about it, and then, miraculously, my dream came true.

I’m that good.

I’m hoping that my dream where Carlos listens when I speak will come true, too.

Oy.

I follow a page on Facebook about ‘What’s Going On …’ in our local area. People post questions about looking for a contractor, or someone to do some work; they advertise yard sales; they recommend businesses; and then there are others.

Some posts, I hate to say, are so illiterate, I literally have to read them out loud in what I call my toothless cousin-f**ker voice just see make sense of it; that gives me a laugh. But this week a woman posted about buying truck parts at an Auto Zone and the nice young black man that helped her carry them to her truck. I didn’t see the point in mentioning he was black as it had nothing to do with the story until she added:

“It was nice, him showing me the respect I deserve.”

Seriously; but then another woman posted:

“I know him, he helped me at the Piggly Wiggly.”

Now, the first women never mentioned the young man by name, which caused me to think that, if you took these people at their word, there is one, just one, nice young black man in Smallville who runs around helping white women—and you know they’re white women because of their FB profile photo—and giving them respect.

Oy. But then …

Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw, a 32-year-old Bluffton, South Carolina was caught speeding through a stop sign at over 60 miles per hour.

When stopped by police, Cutshaw was slurring her words and a breathalyzer showed her blood-alcohol level at .18 percent –well above the .06 legal limit. But Cutshaw said she shouldn’t be arrested because she is a "very clean, thoroughbred, white girl” and a cheerleader and a sorority girl who graduated from a "high accredited university" and because her partner's "a cop."

When officers asked what being a "white, clean girl" had to do with anything Cushaw replied:

"You're a cop, you should know what that means."

Cutshaw was arrested and jailed on charges including drunken driving, speeding, disregarding a stop sign, possession of drug paraphernalia, and marijuana possession and being a self-entitled white privileged girl.

Sorry, hon, add criminal to your list of accomplishments.

If you need proof that Mike Pence is a lying hypocritical tool, look no further than an article he wrote back in the 90s demanding Clinton resign for having an extramarital affair.

But cut to 2017 and he has no problem licking the boots of a serial adulterer.

Element TV Company, a South Carolina television maker, is laying off 126 of its 134 workers because of _____’s tariffs on imports from China.

That skeleton crew of eight employees will stick around in the hopes that the plant can reopen in three to six months.

_____; making America great again by helping 126 people lose their jobs.

Boy band singer, and openly gay, Lance Bass said he’s “heartbroken” after placing a bid to buy Brady Bunch house, and thinking he’d been the highest bidder, only to find that he wasn’t.

“Super excited to announce they accepted my offer on the #BradyBunch house last night!!! This is going to be a fun project!”

Then came this:

“Marcia Marcia Marcia!  Im feeling heartbroken today. As many of you may have heard, we placed the winning bid on the iconic Brady Bunch house—at least that’s what we were told. The agent representing the estate informed us we made the winning bid (which was WAY over the asking price) after the final deadline for all offers had passed—even writing up the “winning bid” for my team after informing me of the good news. Isn’t a deadline a deadline? This was a dream come true for me and I spent the night celebrating amongst friends, family, and fans alike. The next day, due to “unforeseen circumstances” the same agent informed us that there’s another Corporate Buyer (Hollywood studio) who wants the house at any cost. We were prepared to go even higher but totally discouraged by the sellers agent, they will outperform any bid with unlimited resources. How is this fair or legal?? How can I compete with a billion dollar corporate entity? I truly believe I was used to drive up the price of the home knowing very well that this corporation intended on making their offer and it’s not a good feeling. I feel used but most importantly I’m hurt and saddened by this highly questionable outcome. I just hope it is not demolished. Thanks for all the love and support. #CrushedDream #ShadyAF #DouglasElliman #ShadyBrady”

Lance believes he “was used to drive up the price of the home” as a “Corporate buyer” did make a bigger bid, and that buyer is HGTV, who it has purchased the home and plans to “return it to its ‘1970s glory’.”

Right. I’m seeing gray everywhere … and shiplap.

Oy! Again!

Todd Kincannon, the former head of South Carolina's Republican Party, was arrested last week after he choked, stabbed, and mutilated his mother's 10-year-old beagle at her Greenville county home. Upon his arrest, Kincannon said he killed the dog because:

"I'm the second coming of Christ and I got a command from God to do it."

Officers who responded to the call say Kincannon came out of his parents' home in his underwear and covered in blood and dog hair and announced that “every 1,000 years there needs to be a sacrifice and blood must be spilt." He held up his arms to show what appeared to be dog bites and said:

"I have a sign. I'm about to get crucified in the media."

Yes, you are. And he will be charged with animal cruelty though there is no report that he will be taken in an evaluated for some sort of mental break.

I mean, this story, and the fact that in 2015, Kincannon was charged with criminal domestic violence after threatening to kill himself, his wife, and her family; in 2015, his law license was suspended following threatening emails he sent to people in connection with that arrest.

A grand jury indicted Kincannon on domestic violence and kidnapping charges last year but those charges are still pending.

Seriously? This man should have been locked a long time ago but, you know, Republican, South Carolina, domestic violence.

Now, for some fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bulous news … the fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bulous Jessica Lange is coming back American Horror Story: Apocalypse.

Makes perfect sense because this season is said to be a cross-over between Murder House and Coven, both of which starred Lange.

I.Am.Dying. Especially when it’s been confirmed the show had been renewed for two more seasons beyond Apocalypse.

Gosh, I love this … after Donald _____’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized—with a pick axe no less—the city of West Hollywood issued a resounding “Fuck You, Mr. President” and passed a unanimous resolution to remove the star from the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Sorry, not sorry.

We watched a couple of movies this weekend, the first being Trumbo, about the Hollywood blacklist of suspected Communists in the 40s and 50s. One of the people who helped to end the blacklist was actor Kirk Douglas who hired Dalton Trumbo to write the script for Spartacus and made sure he was given credit on screen.

The actor who played Douglas, Dean O’Gorman, top, just oozed sex appeal onscreen, especially in scenes as Spartacus in his little, er, not so little, leather jock strap.

We, or I, also watched Home Again, a tired Reese Witherspoon rom-com where she plays a forty-something woman who takes in three twenty-something young men and falls for one of them.

Sadly, she fell for the wrong one, because she didn’t fall the quirky, cute and sweet Jon Rudnitsky, bottom, who played George.

As Julie said in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Huge.”

Steaming hot or quirky cute ... I don't have a type.

#NotRacists Be Like: The Top 10 Phrases Used by People Who Claim They Are Not Racist

I found this on the interwebz and was instantly reminded of the time, or is it times, _____ has declared himself the “least racist person you know.”

He might not be what is dubbed an “intentional racist,” but his racism might be due to his sense of privilege or the fact that he’s vapid and shallow and doesn’t really care about anyone who doesn’t look, or act, or have a bank account, like him.

And there are a lot of him’s out there; a lot of him’s elected him; they’re the ones who agree that not standing for the National Anthem is spitting in the military; the ones who think some neo-Nazis are good people.

And so, The Root, via Michael Harriot, has a countdown of the 10 most popular non-racist, or, as another friend of mine dubs them, closet racist, statements.

And here they are …

10. “Why must everything have to be about race?”

One of the most used ideas in the not-racist handbook is that talking about race creates divisiveness because the more people point out racism, the more ... who knows.

The truth is that talking about race makes white people uncomfortable because it reminds them of the filthy history of white supremacy. That’s why Texas schoolbooks referred to slaves as “immigrants,” and Confederate-flag-wavers have twisted the bloodiest conflict in U.S. history into something about states’ rights, tradition and the North’s hatred of sweet tea ... and declaring human beings to be personal property.

And I get it; it is very uncomfortable for white people to hear about the atrocities of racism knowing that their people are complicit in centuries of mistreatment. It would give me the heebie-jeebies, too. It’s like cheating on a woman, confessing and then wondering why she’s always bringing up old shit when you come home late.

But the only way America will ever cure the cancer of white supremacy is by talking about it and treating it as if it were a disease. If you found a tumor in your left lung and your doctor brought it up every time you lit a cigarette, it would be stupid to respond with, “Why does everything have to be about lung cancer?”

It’s killing you, man. It’s killing you.

9. “I dated a black guy/girl ... ”

A few days ago I received a message from a not-racist woman who genuinely wanted to know why I used the phrase “white people”. I patiently replied to her, and she wrote back that she understood. She explained that she wasn’t racist because her ex-husband was black and she had half-black children. Which left me wondering:

Who are these black men and women dating these clueless white people and leaving them as unwoke as they found them?

You gon’ let her raise your kids, bruh? For real?

Who told “white people” that when a black penis enters a white vagina (or vice versa), the orgasm gives them a special immunity to being a bigot?

If so, where does it go? (The racism, not the penis, stupid.)

Instead of the March on Washington or the Montgomery Bus Boycott, should we have just marched around the country having orgies?

That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

8. “I don’t see color.”

Do you stop at green lights? How do you play checkers, then? Not-racists will actually try to convince you that they don’t care about race and that erasing the concept of race from our minds is a self-righteous, egalitarian attribute.

Bullshit.

Here is the thing: The idea of a post-racial society is really the desire for a white society. Even nonracist Caucasians don’t mind this because they don’t understand that whiteness has surpassed the classification of a racial category in America and has become the default.

Black people want to be treated like everyone else. We don’t desire to be seen as everyone else. Most African Americans, Mexicans, Jews, etc., love their race and their culture. It is a large part of who we are. We don’t care that you see our color. We just want you to respect it.

Also, how do you play Uno?

7. “You’re the racist!”

In the September 2013 global quarterly Not-Racists, the executive board decided to introduce a clever bit of trickery into the racial discussion in America.

According to the memo obtained by The Root, Caucasians were instructed to respond to any claims of racism, no matter how subtle, with the charge that black people were the racist ones. Since then, according to a poll never conducted by Pew Research, claims of reverse racism have risen more than 389 percent.

I’m not one of those people who believe black people can’t be racist, because I, too, felt racism creep into my heart once when a Caucasian co-worker offered me leftover potato salad. Even though black-on-white racism technically exists, it is rarely injurious.

Because—feeling butt-hurt is not a medical symptom.

6. “I grew up around black people.”

There are people who grew up in the “inner city” or played Pop Warner football on the Negro side of town who believe that they can’t be racist. According to them, growing up around black people—along with Mandingo penis and black vagina—completes the Holy Trinity of racism cures.

When asked why the white boys raised on slave plantations; the millennials who went to integrated schools but carried tiki torches in Charlottesville, Va.; and Darren Wilson, who worked his entire career as a police officer in a majority-black town before he shot Michael Brown Jr., still had remnants of racism in their bloodstreams, white people collectively paused, gazed at their flip-flops for a few brief seconds and replied, “Why does everything have to be about race?”

5. “Not all white people ... ”

Nothing upsets the #NotRacist stomach more than hearing the phrase “white people” used in any capacity. Only the term “white privilege” causes more consternation.

That same woman who wrote the letter I mentioned earlier said this:

"First & foremost, many of us “white people” could care less what racial label you bestow upon us because at the end of the day the same loving GOD that created white skin created dark skin ... Why does there have to be a label? Why must we classify as a “color”? When we are all God’s master piece? No one runs from what the classification of one’s skin color reminds them of! What happened years ago is embarrassing. It’s hurtful! And morally disturbing. I am fortunate, my family did not participate in the barbaric behaviors as other whites. And God help our soul had we ever considered using a racial slur at another person! No my family was not and is not perfect but sir not all of us were mentally disturbed. And that is what someone has to be in order to hold another against their will in captivity. And sir, why would you want to write such things that fuel the hatred? Why would you assume that ALL whites fit into one general spectrum? If this is so, does this mean that because you are black sir that you are a gang banger? Do you see the issue here sir? ”

Although this is one of the most interesting uses of the “not all white people” variations, it raises an interesting point: I have a friend who is black and owns a Tesla. When she hears a mechanic advise people to change their oil every 3,000 miles, she doesn’t say, “Not all cars!” My friend is intelligent enough to know that the mechanic is referring to most cars or the typical car. Nothing in this world is 100 percent. Somewhere there exists a cat who likes having mice around, but for the most part ...

People who object to the word combination “white people” do so only because they aren’t used to being stereotyped. When the letter writer considered every black stereotype and decided to ask if I was a gangbanger, it did not bother me. You know why?

Because I am not a gangbanger.

I am also accustomed to living with the knowledge that my skin engenders certain thoughts about who I am. She does not have to navigate a world that presupposes her psyche on a day-to-day basis.

And that, dear reader, is called “white privilege.”

4. “Go back to Africa!”

Not-racists believe that America belongs to them and that whiteness endows them with the power to excommunicate the offenders of their country at will. This, too, is white privilege.

White privilege is believing that you have the right to tell anyone to leave the country they built with their own hands, for free. White privilege is believing that America is in decline and can be made great again only by a billionaire trust fund baby, but simultaneously saying that black football players have no right to criticize America because it made them rich. White privilege is the belief that this country is yours, and anyone who doesn’t like it should kick rocks. White privilege is the belief that kneeling is cause for being called anti-American, but not the actual, unconstitutional mistreatment of Americans.

That’s why I’m proposing that whenever we hear anyone complain about big government, high taxes, Black Lives Matter, traffic, not enough pineapples on their pizza or ask whether something is gluten-free, black people should cup their hands around their mouths and bellow into the world:

“Go back to Caucasia!”

3. “Why must you always be the victim?”

Another not-racist premise posits that when black people play the “race card,” they are blaming the failures of black people on racism. According to them, we want to make white people the villains and ourselves the victims.

They are partially correct. Black people kill too many other black people. The black family structure is falling apart. Blacks should focus more on education.

Those things will help black people immensely.

But if black people did all those things and ignored the fact that a black college graduate is more likely than a white high school grad to be unemployed, and on average earns less than one; or that schools with majority-black students receive less funds than white schools with the same tax and income bases; or ignored mass incarceration, sentence inequality, the drug war, the history of redlining, banks giving blacks higher interest rates, disproportionate police brutality ...
... that would be stupid.

It’s like asking someone who was sexually abused to never talk about it or even to keep quiet when the cops ask about it because it turns the survivor into a victim.

We are the victims ... of racism.

2. “I don’t want to sound racist, but ... ”

I have been told, on numerous occasions, to never consider anything after “but.” The oldest sleight of hand in the book of racism magic is to proclaim oneself “not racist.” It is a wondrous trick that never works.

It’s akin to R. Kelly opening up a day care center and using the motto, “I’m not a pedophile, but I’d love to babysit your kids!”

Also, whenever anyone says they “don’t want to sound racist,” brace yourself. Because they are definitely about to say some racist shit.

1. “Make America great again.”

I can’t even ...

And my advice? When you hear something, say something. Call out the racist and the not-racist alike because silence is acceptance.

If a person makes a racist remark and you say nothing, you are, in their minds, and the minds of those around you, agreeing.

Say something, even if it’s as simple, “Don’t speak to me again if that’s what you believe.”

Better still,call out their racism and tell them you won’t stand for it, by it, with it.

The Root

We Should Just Be Quiet

Virginia Miller owns this sign--it has since been taken down--in Gatesville, Texas.

The message, however, was paid for by Oen Dollins, a former minister, who doesn't believe that gay rights are civil rights.

Virginia Miller, in defense of Dollins, says, “He wanted to get the message to black people that it’s not fair that they’re the ones who suffered, they’re the ones who paid the price, and now everything they fought for is being hijacked.”

Miller says Dollins paid $300 for the message to appear on the sign for three days, from Sunday through Tuesday, and then it was taken down. Virginia Miller also says that her husband, Bo, carefully screens the messages and doesn’t allow anything negative. But Bo Miller told Channel 9 that he approved the message because he felt Dollins was making a valid argument, and Dollins says, “It’s nothing to compare with the civil rights movement. No gays are having to ride on the back of the bus. No gays are being enslaved. No gays are being prosecuted [SIC] in any way.”

Prosecuted? I believe you mean persecuted.

And that doesn't happen to gay people on a daily basis. Does it? We are never denied housing or employment because we're gay. We are never denied rights to visit our loved ones in the hospital because we're gay. We aren't allowed to get married because we're gay. We can't serve openly in the military because we're gay. We aren't murdered for being gay.

No, no persecution there.