I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Bobby Berk, the Queer Eye interior designer, was on Jenny McCarthy’s Sirius XM show because we’re in a pandemic and what else can you do, to dish about a Real Housewife of New York who got free work out of him under false pretenses and then returned to his store when he wasn’t there to clean him out of thousands of dollars of free merchandise.

Now, Bobby, whom I wouldn’t know if he crossed my path, has never said who the RHoNY wife was, but US Magazine says it was  Aviva Drescher, whom Bobby once called a “con artist.” If you don’t know Aviva, she was the housewife who lost a leg in a barn accident—seriously—and on an episode of the show, when she was called a fake, literally took her leg off and threw it across the room, shouting:

“That’s the only thing fake about me.”

Now, this is what Berk said about Aviva Drescher his client:

“[She] was like, ‘Oh, I’m buying this new [house].’ Turns out, of course, she wasn’t buying it … but she’s like, ‘I want you to come in and design it all. I’m gonna put you on the show.’ … I still kind of liked the Housewives, so I was like, ‘Oh, OK, but just so you know, I’m not doing it for free. I don’t need to do it for free. I don’t necessarily know if the Housewives is really the exposure I want anyways, so I’ll do it for you at cost.’ And she’s like, ‘OK, OK, that works.’”

But then her husband said it needed to be done for free—Red Flag—so Berk declined to do it at all. And so, Aviva the client came into his store when he wasn’t there and told the staff that she had his permission to take anything she wanted, and even gave them credit card to charge her for anything she didn’t bring back.

Months later, when nothing was returned, Berk tried to charge the card, but it was declined. He then confronted Drescher the client who threatened to sue him saying:

“You know what? Then let’s go to court. This’ll be good TV. It’s easier for us just to have our lawyer deal with it than it would be to actually pay you.’”

It looks like Aviva is as phony as her leg.

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Apparently, The Flash movie starring Ezra Miller is still happening, but that’s not the big news. That news is that it looks like Michael Keaton will slather himself in lube and slip on the Batsuit once again to play Batman in the film.

But then what about Robert Pattinson who is playing Batman in a different Batman movie. How many Batmans do we need? And why can’t we get Burt Ward to shove his ALLEGEDLY huge manhood back into those green short shorts?

I’d pay to see that.

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We all know that Mel Gibson is a racist, anti-Semitic, misogynistic homophobe after his drunk driving arrest years back. And we also know he’s a rabid Roman Catholic religious wingnut … at least until he divorced his wife, mother of his many children, so he could play house with his new Baby Mama. But now, we get a little more, and yet still old, dirt on Mel and Hollywood anti-Semitism from one Winona Ryder.

When asked if she’d ever experienced anti-Semitism in Hollywood, Ryder said:

“I have … in interesting ways. There are times when people have said, ‘Wait, you’re Jewish? But you’re so pretty!’ There was a movie that I was up for a long time ago, it was a period piece, and the studio head, who was Jewish, said I looked ‘too Jewish’ to be in a blue-blooded family.”

And then she talked Mel:

“We were at a crowded party with one of my good friends, and Mel Gibson was smoking a cigar, and we’re all talking and he said to my friend, who’s gay, ‘Oh wait, am I gonna get AIDS?’ And then something came up about Jews, and he said [to me], ‘You’re not an oven dodger, are you?’”

Gosh, he’s just delightful, no? Ryder says he tried to apologize later, but Gibson says it never happened. Huh; who to believe, Winona, who has a troubled shoplifting past, or Gibson, who when he was arrested for being a drunken idiot in 2006 said this to police:

“The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world!”

He blamed that on being recorded without his knowledge, which, correct me if I’m wrong, doesn’t mean he never said it, it just means he didn’t know it was being recorded. Gibson also got into a drunken shrieking match with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva in which he used racist slurs, including the n-word.

Yeah, I think I’m Team Ryder here.

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A long time ago, in a music business far, far away, long before he was an out and proud queen, Elton John kinda dabbled in heterosexuality.

Well, he married a woman at any rate. In 1984, John married Renate Blauel, a German sound engineer. That’s them up there and if Elton’s outfit doesn’t shrieeeeeeeeek Barbershop Quartet of Homos, well, you aren’t listening. Their marriage lasted just four years and Renate’s kept a low profile ever since … until last week when she popped up out of nowhere to seek an injunction against Elton. Renate’s lawyer says she’s “hoping to resolve it amicably” but wouldn’t say what “it” was although injunctions are usually related to “privacy matters or to prevent publication of material”. 

Juicy, it seems. But why now? Is it because Elton talked about her in his autobiography, "Me", or that the marriage was a brief—and I mean brief—scene in Rocketman and now she wants coins?

Stay tuned …

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Kanye West and The Gap are teaming up to sell his clothes at their stores throughout the nation. I think they’re even changing the name of the store to The Krap.

I mean, it makes sense, no?

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Poor Lori Loughlin. She’ll never be named Mother of the Year; her daughters won’t even graduate from community college; she’s off to prison; she’s terrified of the COVID-19; and now this …

Criminals Lori Loughlin husband, Mossimo Giannulli are … gosh, this is hard … haven’t they suffered enough … voluntarily resigning from the exclusive Bel-Air Country Club. What a sacrifice, though I think it was less Lori’s idea and more of a ‘Here’s your membership check back’ from the club. But, fear not, Lori and Mossimo may be allowed back in once their prison sentences are complete, though they will only be allowed to use the shallow end of the pool.

Cuz they’re shallow? Get it?

Still, the thought that the felons would be allowed to rejoin once they’re out of the Fuller Big House did not sit well with past club president, Michael Gallagher who told the board:

“BACC is a Club of gentlemen and gentlewomen. Gentlemen are not felons, and felons in turn are not gentlemen. You cannot be a member in good standing and guilty of a felony at the same time, it is a non sequitur….The board action, taken on behalf of the Club’s membership, now establishes our Club as a place of refuge and comfort for known felons … and our Club has become a laughingstock.”

I picture Gallagher dressed as Scrooge McDuck when he dictated that letter. Still, he has a point, though if every country club in the country booted all their felon members there’d be nothing but pool boys and bartenders left.

Hmmm, where do I get an admissions form?

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I am gagged! A very detail oriented TikTok user, AKA Kelly Sipos, found something odd as she watched old episodes of Glee.

It appears that to cut costs for the show—cuz hiring extras Lea Michele didn’t hate was pricey—Ryan Murphy used actual dummies to fill spaces in the audience when the show filmed performance scenes.

Yes, that’s the, um, audience, up there.

The good news is that some of these dummies are now getting work on The Bold and the Beautiful as sex partners to the cast while filming—see that post HERE.

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We all know that 70-year-old music producer and composer David Foster is currently on his fifth wife, 36-year-old Katharine McPhee, but this is about the breakup of his fourth marriage to 56-year-old Yolanda Hadid. They were together for nine years, and even appeared as a, um, happy couple on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills but then Yolanda was diagnosed with Lyme disease and Foster hit the bricks.

Yolanda says he left because she was sick and she could no longer be arm candy and maybe he was looking for someone younger—rumors flew that, even while married to Yolanda, Foster and McPhee were friendly—and in her memoir Yolanda ALLEGES that Foster told her “your sick card is up.” 

Now, in a documentary, Foster is hitting back:

“How can I leave a sick woman? The fact of the matter is that was not the reason I left. It was for a different reason which I will never disclose that had nothing to do with her being sick.”

Huh; that has shades of Tommy Cruise leaving Nicole Kidman for reasons “she knows” and then he ended up with a decades younger wife; must be a ‘thing’. Foster does, however, kind of hint that it had something to do with RHoBH except that Yolanda left the show when she and Foster spilt; still, he says:

“My wife at the time wanted to do the show. I didn’t want to be the guy to say no. I’ve got 16 f–king Grammys, half a billion records. Fuck that show!”

And yet he used that show to tout his career and even allowed the show to film him in concert and getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I think he left for a younger healthier model, so take note McPhee …the clock is ticking and if I’m not wrong, Wife #6 just graduated high school.

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I Didn't Say It

Chris Murphy, Democratic Senator from Connecticut, during a Senate hearing reviewing the powers of the president to order a nuclear strike:

"We are concerned that the President of the United States is so unstable, is so volatile, has a decision-making process that is so quixotic, that he might order a nuclear weapons strike that is wildly out of step with U.S. national security interests."

Seriously. We need to stop the Fat Bastard before he gets his idle feelings hurt and drops a bomb on someone … literally!

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Sandy Rios, Fox bimbo and Hate Group, the American Family Association, radio host, defending child rape:

“Honestly, do you think there’s a person alive on the planet—certainly, I’ll limit it a little bit, I will say any man listening to my voice—that doesn’t have something in his past, in his box of secrets, that he’s ashamed of sexually? Especially, let’s just say, beginning in the ‘60s. I mean, look I’m not excusing—I’m just saying if a person can be destroyed over something he did 37 years ago that was wrong and sinful? Where did we get to point where the standard for Christians is that there is never been anything ever? That they’ve lived a perfect life? I just don’t understand that.”

Um, Sandy, you idiot, Moore didn’t steal a candy bar thirty-seven years ago; he sexually assaulted a minor, and has been accused of sexually assaulting other women as well.

Those are not little secrets that we all have, well, maybe except for Roy Moore, and perhaps you?

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Mitch McConnell, GOP lapdog from Kentucky and Senate Majority Leader, admitting he "misspoke" when he said that "nobody in the middle class is going to get a tax increase":

"I misspoke on that. You can't guarantee that absolutely no one sees a tax increase, but what we are doing is targeting levels of income and looking at the average in those levels and the average will be tax relief for the average taxpayer in each of those segments."

'I misspoke' is the new ‘I lied.’ And McConnell lies every single time his little turtle yap flaps.

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Mo Brooks, GOP Congressman from Huntsville, Alabama, sticking with Roy Moore because of the conservative agenda:

“America faces huge challenges that are vastly more important than contested sexual allegations from four decades ago. Who will vote in America’s best interests on Supreme Court justices, deficit and debt, economic growth, border security, national defense, and the like? Socialist Democrat Doug Jones will vote wrong. Roy Moore will vote right. Hence, I will vote for Roy Moore.”

There you have it, Alabama, one of your own elected officials is putting the GOP agenda ahead of a sexual predator because, I’m guessing, being a sexual predator is okay as long as you get a conservative on the bench somewhere?

Hey Mo? Fuck off.

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Winona Ryder, on being bullied in high school and then meeting one of her bullies years later:

“I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy’s suit. As I went to the bathroom I heard people saying, ‘Hey, faggot.’ They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground and they started to kick the shit out of me. I had to have stitches. The school kicked me out, not the bullies … Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who’d kicked me, and she said, ‘Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?’ And I said, ‘Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?’ And she said, ‘Kind of.’ And I said, ‘That was me. Go fuck yourself.'”

Bravo! Sure, the girl might have felt remorse for what she’d done, but she didn’t feel stitches and kicks; she didn’t feel “kicked out of school” and she didn’t feel home-schooled for a year because the school tolerates bullies but not the bullied.

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E.W. Jackson, a “Christian” radio host, supporting pedophile Roy Moore:

“You don’t ever want to give these leftists another head to mount on their mantel. They’re head-hunters, they like to destroy people, they like to destroy Christian conservatives, particularly. They’re filled with hatred and animosity and they love killing folks. I’m serious, folks. I think a lot of ’em would kill people physically if they thought they could get away with it. But they can’t, for the most part; they don’t want to go to jail so what they do is they try to kill people metaphorically, destroy them, destroy their reputation, destroy their career, destroy their livelihood, just make them suffer. That’s the kind of hatred they have for people of my ilk.”

Um, excuse me, douchebag? I don’t hate Christians. I hate pompous gasbags who molest little girls them hide because their so-called faith; I hate conservatives who work against LGBT rights but tap their toes in men’s room stalls looking for a handie; I hate Christian conservatives who spew their own values as a kind of moral code while their screwing another man’s wife.

And as for you, douchebag, let’s take a peek into your past … like when you said God will punish people who voted for trans lawmaker Danica Roem; like when you blamed the Charleston shooting on The Gays and Obama; like when you said Christians must b willing to die to stop marriage equality; like when you petition to legalize LGBT discrimination; like when  you work to make being gay a crime.

Clearly, you’re the one filled with hate, asshat.

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Armie Hammer, saying he had a transformative experience playing Oliver in Call Me By Your Name and saying he “fell in love” with his director Luca Guadagnino:

“I’ve never had such an emotional journey with a director. I’ve never even considered directors to be emotional people! I don’t even know if I’ve worked with a director who even cared if I was mad at them before. It was more like, ‘Shut up and stand on your mark and do your job.’ [As we finished production] everybody was sort of lashing out because this thing was ending and nobody wanted it to. Honestly, I think I had fallen in love with Luca.”

Well, I don’t know about falling in love with Luca, but if Armie Hammer said he’d fallen in love with me ::: swoooooon::: it would never be over!

Just sayin’.

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Luca Guadagnino, Hammer’s director, on their inevitable “breakup”:

“For reasons that could be personal to Armie, I had the feeling that he was pulling away. The movie wasn’t finished, and I had to bring him back. For me to make a movie, it’s really creating a family. Having a very profound familial bond with the people I’m doing the movies with, where you literally and constantly fall in love with all of them. Sometimes, this emotional flow can be very intense. Very! As it was with Armie. And then it can be very complicated.”

Lucky bastard.

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Seth Meyers, on the “dumbest” _____:

“While [President] _____ is focused on bragging about his endurance, back here at home, his inner-circle is dealing with yet more information about potential involvement in Russian election meddling. And you’ll never guess which _____ family member is once again mixed up in all of it– I’ll give you a hint. He has the same name as a famous idiot.”

Nope, we were all wrong; it wasn’t Eric, it’s Junior who is The Dumbest _____. And in that family, that’s saying a lot!

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I Didn't Say It......

Winona Ryder, on Mel Gibson:

"I remember, like, fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And he was really drunk. I was with my friend, who's gay. He made a really horrible gay joke. And somehow it came up that I was Jewish. He said something about 'oven dodgers,' but I didn't get it. I'd never heard that before. It was just this weird, weird moment. I was like, 'He's anti-Semitic and he's homophobic.' No one believed me!"

Oh, we believe now.

All it takes is a drunken tirade against the cops, a DUI, and some rather nasty voice-mails to prove it.

President Jimmy Carter says America is ready for a gay President:
"Step-by-step, we have realized that this issue of homosexuality has the same adverse and progressive elements as when we dealt with the race issue 50 years ago, or 40 years ago. So I would say that the country is getting acclimated to a president who might be female, who might, obviously, now, be Black, and who might be as well a gay person."

From your moth to the goddes' ears, Jimmy.

I don't quite agree that we're ready just now, but, one day.

Some day.

Carrie Fisher, on John Travolta's ALLEGED homosexuality, and the idea that Travolta has sent his legal team after Gawker, a website which printed a post suggesting Travolta has given blow jobs:

"Wow! I mean, my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don’t care. Look, I’m sorry that he’s uncomfortable with it, and that’s all I can say. It only draws more attention to it when you make that kind of legal fuss. Just leave it be."

Oops.

He's outed.

Again!

And I wonder how long it will take him to send his lawyers after Carrie Fisher, who I cannot see apologizing for what she said.

Senator Carl Levin, on DADT and the President:

"The way I think the President needs to fight is to say that he is going to use all of the power he has of a bully pulpit and urge the Senate to stay in, right up to New Years….that’s the problem that I don’t see that kind of a willingness to fight that hard, where he will take that kind of a position and that’s what’s necessary. The Senate and the House, these are tests of wills."

I agree.

Obama needs to strap on some balls and get tough.

He's played the Nice Guy Game far too long now, and it hasn't worked.

Dina Lohan, media whore and enabler, On Gwyneth Paltrow's recent Glee guest shot where she cracked jokes about Lindsanity Lohan:

"Lindsay is so upset with Gwyneth. Lindsay was watching it while in Betty Ford, then she called me and was upset and said, 'Why did she have to do that? We are the first to make fun of ourselves in our family. And Lindsay has even done SNL a few times, but Gwyneth went overboard and it was unnecessary. Lindsay thought she was a friend and it was disappointing. It was really hard for her to watch... it was hurtful not funny."

Oh, Dina, you dumbass.

But you must have thought it was funny when Lindsay parodied herself on the MTV awards, right?

So, how come Lindsay can do it, and no one else can? Is it because you don't make any money off Gwyneth's jokes?

Willow Smith, on being a singer and not a student, because that's how her mommy and daddy want it:

"I never really get to go to school because I am always on tour or with my father. There is a tutor most of the time, but usually I am working so I never get to do the lessons. The worst thing about maths is all the kids are ahead of me because they go to school."

Nice way to teach your kids.

Maybe when Willow is about 50, and touring hotel lounges, whipping her hair, her mom and dad might have a different thought.

Doubtful.

Barbara Walters, on the View, discussing John Boehner's need for tears:

"This guy, I'm sorry, he's gonna be Speaker of the House, and he's not gonna invite me to his Christmas party, but this guy has an emotional problem that every time he talks about anything that's not 'raise taxes' he cries. If this were a woman, if you saw Nancy Pelosi, who's been villified, and I'm not taking sides, if you saw her getting up and crying... I hope he's a good Speaker of the House, but he's got a problem."

Seriously, I get emotional, too. But this guy makes me look like I'm made of steel.

Enough with the tears, Boner, you're starting to look even more crazy.

Chris Colfer, nominated for a Golden Globe, on his Glee role:

"I never thought I’d play a character who could inspire so many people. It’s a good thing I’ve gone through so many of the same things Kurt is going through—I definitely approach his character from a personal place."

I've said it before: Kurt is the heart of the show, and people of all orientations can see themselves in him.

And it's nice that he adds his own experiences to the mix.

Top Ten Celebrity Excuses

Y'all remember that when Paris Hilton was arrested, this time, she claimed that it wasn't her purse, with all her IDs and so on inside. Then she claimed that she thought the cocaine was chewing gum, because, well, if you're as dumb as Paris Hilton, you think gum goes up your nose.
Well, with that, Paris Hilton wins our Top Ten List Of Dumbest Celebrity Excuses for The Not-My-Purse-Not-My-Coke-But-It-Is-My-Gum Excuse.

And with Paris' ability to come off sounded dumber than a box of rock, I, as well as some other folks, began wondering......Hmmmmm, what are some of the other dumbassed celebrity excuses.

Lindsay Lohan: Every Excuse in the Book.
In 2007, when the police pulled her over in Santa Monica and found cocaine in her jeans pocket, she said she didn't do drugs and the jeans weren't hers.
Thankfully, the police are as stupid as Lohan and arrested her for coke possession, DUI and driving without a license.
In 2010, she missed a court hearing because, her attorney claimed, she lost her passport.
She used the "My uncle died" excuse for missing an alcohol counseling session, even though her own lawyer admitted she hadn't gone to the funeral.

Britney Spears: Forgive Me, I'm a Hick
During the midst of 2006, the Britney-Is-Nuts-Year, Spears was snapped by paparazzi behind the wheel of her car with her son Sean Preston perched on her lap. When asked by Matt Lauer why the baby wasn't strapped into a car seat where he belonged, Spears gave us that good ole down-home kinda excuse: "I did it with my dad. I'd sit on his lap and I drive. We're country."
As in, "Too stupid to know the law."
Or, is it "stoopid."

Eddie Murphy: I'm a Good Samaritan...to Hookers
That's the Eddie Murphy excuse for photos taken of him in 1997 with a, ahem, street girl in his car while he was married. He told his then-wife that he'd stopped because she--Or he, since the "woman" turned out to be a transsexual escort--was crying. He later said it wasn't the first time his heart had gone out to a hooker. "I was being a good Samaritan," he said. "It's not the first hooker I've helped out. I've seen hookers on corners ... and I'll pull over ... and I'll empty my wallet out to help."
Empty out the wallet, Yes. Help? Well, it depends on your definition of the kind of help Eddie offers.

Winona Ryder: My Director Made Me Steal for a Part
Winona: The Shoplifting Years. When the actress was caught making off with more than $5,500 worth of Saks Fifth Avenue merchandise in 2001, she, at first, denied she was a thief, then changed her tune to the old "researching a part" song and dance.
"I'm sorry for what I did," she said in her Oscar-nominated role of shoplifter. "My director directed me to shoplift for a role I was preparing."
Except, she wasn't playing a shoplifter in any role at that time. Unless you count her part on Friends where she shoplifted a kiss from Jennifer Aniston.

Jeffrey Donovan: It's Not Me, Or The Wine I Guzzled, It's the Benadryl
Donovan, star of USA network's Burn Notice, had a nice little run-in with Miami Beach police officers back in 2009, when he swerved to avoid hitting a squad car and then failed a sobriety test. He was arrested when he wouldn't take a breathalyzer. Though he confessed to downing drinks over dinner at a restaurant, he still claimed he was blameless and pointed the finger at cold medicine:
"The only mistake I made tonight," Donavan said, "was drinking Benadryl with three glasses of wine."

Shelly Morrison: There's an Earthquake in My Mind
The lovable Rosario, from Will and Grace, stole nearly $500 in jewelry from a department store and attributed her bout of shoplifting to the tremors in her brain.
"Sometimes the mind has a mini earthquake," Morrison said. "I did a dumb thing that was so out of character ... I've since seen therapists and they explained to me that I left no room for myself."
Earthquakes in your head.
I may remember this one, just in case, because it's so crazy, it might just work.
Though it didn't for Rosario.

Whitney Houston: Crack Is Too Wack for Me
Whitney is too classy for crack. At least, that's what she used as her excuse for lying about smoking it when she was deep in one of her many drug-fueled breakdowns.
"Crack is cheap," the songstress explained. "I make too much money to use crack. Crack is wack."
And crack is, apparently, for poor people.
Whitney liked the classy, expensive drugs, I'm guessing.

Tom Sizemore: That Underwear I Was Wearing Isn't Mine
When your struggle with drug and alcohol addiction is well publicized, and you're stopped by police for a second time using a fake penis called the Whizzinator to beat a urine drug test, the best thing to do is say the underwear isn't yours.
"They're not mine," Sizemore told a court when asked about the briefs fitted with the device. "They're Calvins. I wear Hilfigers."
And everyone knows that Hilfiger's do not come with the Whizzinator as standard equipment.
Not surprisingly, the judge wasn't fooled.

Jeremy Piven: I Was Poisoned by Fish
Entourage star Piven abandoned his role in David Mamet's play Speed-the-Plow because he'd been suffering from a bad case of mercury poisoning, he said.
The tale only made a mockery of the actor, with Mamet joking to Variety, "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."