Random Musings

You know he loves to put his name on things, but this is ridiculous.

While Donald _____ is touring America to thank the people who voted for him—roughly 3 million less than voted for Hillary—he has issued a new gift from his “Thank You Tour”: the party cup.

A typically disposable item—Walmart sells them in bulk, 50 for $6.27 or 13-cents each—_____ is charging $23.00 for a pack of four! And they look like those iconic red SOLO cups seen at teen parties and frat houses everywhere they are not exactly reusable, though they come with a “hand wash only” disclaimer.

Would that we could wash our hands of _____.

At any rate, I prefer to think of it as the I Voted For The Racist Bigoted Anti-Immigrant Anti-Muslim Anti-LGBT Unqualified Misogynist Guy And All I Got Was a $6.00 Plastic Cup cup.

Still, if you’re looking for some _____ merch, look no further than Vancouver entrepreneurs, Matthew Paish and Sarbjit Gill, who were stunned at the _____ election, and so they created a pair of “undies for humanity” called The Protest Pair that they’re funding through Kickstarter.

The underwear features a buffoon yelling into the abyss, holding a megaphone in his teeny-tiny hands. “Blah blah blah blah blah” is written all over to represent his tweets. There’s also a horizontal fly thoughtfully placed over Mr. Trump’s mouth for easy access when nature calls.

While I find it high-larious, I do not want _____’s mouth, even a cartoon _____’s mouth anywhere near my junk. Still, they are funny ...

Sári ‘Zsa Zsa’ Gábor Belge Hilton Sanders Hutner Cosden Ryan O’Hara de Alba von Anhalt died at what was presumed to be 99 years old this week.

That is all, darrrrrrrlings

Britney Spears has a new boyfriend, ALLEGEDLY, and he is ALLEGEDLY a model—he appeared in a BritBrit video—and a personal trainer named Sam Asghari.

Whatever he does for a living she is one lucky bitch.

Last week, after running several errands, Carlos and I stopped in at our local pizza place to get some take-out. Since it was Friday night, the place was busy and so we took a spot in line.

In front of me was a little person and when it was his turn he stepped up to the counter to order. He asked for a pizza and some salads, I think, and then he asked for an order of fries; the woman at the counter said:

“Small fry.”

Now, I am so politically incorrect that I stifled a giggle. I kept thinking about an episode of Will and Grace when, at Karen’s wedding to Lyle Finster—and, yes,  I am a whore for W&G—Jack looked at a plate of seafood and said, “Shrimp.”

And Beverley Leslie, who was walking by and is rather short, tuned back and said, “Queer.”

That’s what I was thinking about the little person and the small fry.

That’s just me. Now, to be fair, and clear, I didn’t laugh inside the pizza place, I maintained my composure until I got to the car. And then I had to explain to Carlos the two meanings of ‘small fry.’

So, apparently Tom Arnold has video of Donald _____ suing the n-word during The Apprentice.

Quelle surprise, _____ is a racist? But Arnold had previously said he wouldn’t release the tape, but now he’s rethinking that idea because he says he received a voicemail from _____’s team threatening a defamation lawsuit over his claims that he has seen the rumored tape on racist _____.

Sit down, Arnold, you should have released this hate speech before the election, and you’re only talking now because you’re a nobody looking for another fifteen minutes of fame.

We know _____'s a racist; racists voted for him so they won’t care that he used the n-word.

Sit.Down.

Carlos and I decided that we wouldn't do gifts this year because we had a a major, major, expense in the car repair department and we are ready to rip out the carpets and lay down some hard woods ... in the house,. I mean.

So, we opted to make New Floors our Christmas gift this year, but then I saw a couple of things Carlos needed and one thing he didn't know he needed until he sees it Christmas Day so I bought those for him.

And then I saw something I wanted ... a living doll.

Fingers crossed he gets the hint!

So, after Pat McCrory passed North Carolina’s Hate Bill—HB2—into law and after it cost him reelection, North Carolina Republican lawmakers decided to the anti-LGBT law, except ... their plan does not entirely repeal HB2.

Their new bill—SB4—does repeal HB2, including its restrictions mandating what bathrooms transgender people may use, but it also creates a “Six-Month Cooling-Off Period,” in which no municipality in the state may pass any laws related to employment or public accommodations, specifically noting “access to restrooms, showers, or changing facilities.”

Sounds like a bait-and-switch to me, but then that’s the GOP, right? That’s another six months that LGBT people in Charlotte, and around the state, will have no explicit legal recourse at the state or local level if they experience discrimination in employment, housing, or public accommodations.

In the end, the NC Senate approved an amendment to the repeal bill extending the six-month moratorium on local protections until the end of the 2017 legislative session. In other words, the deal got worse, because North Carolina Republicans refuse to vote for a bill that will still allow cities to protect LGBT people from discrimination.

Hate lives on in North Carolina thanks to the GOP.

So, this week we got a Christmas card from my dad. It had the right street name, but the wrong house number; in fact, there is no house on this street with the number my dad used.

But we got the card anyway.

Now, was it because the card had our correct names on it? You know, first and last names? Nope, the card was addressed to ‘Bob and Carlos,’ no last names, but it wasn’t returned to the Post Office ... that's it up there ... because, living in a small town, the Postman knew that a Bob and Carlos lived at our address so he simply put it in the box.

Small towns do have their perks, like getting mail addressed to a couple of first names at the wrong address.

So, the Devil’s Helper, Kellyanne Conway was on GMA this morning calling _____ the "People's President."

Um, yeah, that means the "People's President" has a Cabinet whose net worth is hovering around $13 BILLION dollars. Not exactly the wealth of "the people."

Note to Kellyanne: While he may be the "Electoral College's President" it's clear that Hillary Clinton is the "People's President."

So, Kellyanne, again I ask you to sit the fuck down.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Poor Nicolas Cage. It looks like his crazy hair finally turned the rest of him completely nuts.It seems Little Nicky was arrested last weekend in Louisiana after an, er, altercation, with his wife of six years, Alice.

Nicky was ALLEGEDLY very drunk, prowling the tattoo parlors and bars of New Orleans when a taxi driver ALLEGEDLY spotted Mr and Mrs Hasbeen Actor arguing loudly in the streets. Sidenote: you'd have to argue pretty loudly to cause a disturbance on the streets of the French Quarter.
The cab driver watched the fight for a moment, but the minute Little Nicky shoved Mrs. Little Nicky, the cabbie called the police. Which then lead to a very odd confrontation between Cage and the authorities. The NOLA police, not wanting to make a big scene by arresting a formally huge star, repeatedly asked Cage to just leave quietly.
But Nicky wasn't having it. That's what the Dronk does to you. Cage ALLEGEDLY taunted the police into taking him into custody, refusing their requests for him to quietly go home. Instead, Mr. Big Shot Asshat kept asking, "Why don't you just arrest me?"
So they did. And Nicky and his hair were charged with disturbing the peace and domestic violence.
Nicky was kept in lockdown, awaiting a bail hearing while his wife ALLEGEDLY denied that any physical violence occurred, and refused to press charges. But Nicky is known for his public outbursts and rages. There was a blow-up on a movie set in Romania, as well as a previous bar fight in New Orleans last year.
And there is also his ongoing battle with the IRS, who claims Nicky owes them millions in back taxes. Also the wife of Nicky's first-born recently sued him for $13 million, ALLEGEDLY for back child support. And Nicky himself, probably knowing he needed the cash, filed suit for $20 million against his business manager, Samuel Levin--who simply said that Nicky lives beyond his means, and then filed a countersuit ALLEGING that Nicky was  continually advised to curtail his spending, including the purchases of yachts, Rolls Royce's and fifteen homes.
Nicky. Could your life get any more out of control?

Apparently it can.

Down in New Orleans, where Nicky Cage sat in jail, awaiting a bail hearing, reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter bailed him out by posting a bond of $11,000.
Really? A reality TV show star had to come to your rescue? Why not offer the bail judge a Rolls or a yacht in exchange for a Get Out Of Jail Free card?
Dog, AKA Duane Chapman, who never met a situation he didn't want to exploit for his own purposes, released a statement: "Media from around the world have been requesting interviews with me today after reports surfaced about my posting a bond for actor Nicolas Cage in New Orleans....I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to respect his privacy. I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show."
In other words Here's what I did and how nice I am and how much I love brilliant [sarcasm] actor, Nicolas Cage, but I will not be talking about how I personally bailed him out and then called the media.
And then, after he said he would say no more, he added, "This is what I do for a living. There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don't show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage."
Still, I'd keep Nicky on a short leash, Dog.
And, pardon my pessimism, but don't be surprised if you see Nicky in some big budget piece of trash movie where he plays a bounty hunter with bad hair--because he's got that part covered already--and one Duane Chapman is paid a handsome sum to be an advisor.
Just sayin'.

File this under: Wackadoo Mother-effers.

Ninety-four-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Prince [and he's not a real prince] Frederic von Anhalt, wants his wife to become a mother again by using an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother.
No. Seriously. And, one wonders why.
Dollar signs.
Freddie the Freeloader says: "I've gone through the initial steps of donor matching and blood work and next week the donation process will begin."
I'm not the only one stunned by this news. Zsa Zsa's only child--or formerly her only child--Francesca Hilton, described herself as shocked when told of the plan: "That's just weird."
But Von Anhalt says he is working with Dr. Mark Surry of the Southern California Reproductive Center in Beverly Hills, and, in that fatherly toner that one gets while awaiting the birth of guaranteed inheritance rights, said: "I'm a retired guy. I can take care of it."
It?
He also says Gabor talked about adding a new baby to the family and he wants to carry out her wishes. But, Freddie, she talked about adding another child to the family twenty-five years ago, when she was in her sixties. To which, von Anhalt swears that Zsa Zsa, who is gravely ill, brought up the subject again only months ago.
And he just wants to make her happy, and get a little executor control on the estate when Zsa Zsa passes. Oh, but he says he's not doing it for the money, he's doing it because he wants someone to carry on the Gabor name, because, you know, it's famous, or something. Or at least was about fifty years ago.
Why doesn't Freddie just change his name to Greedy Gabor? Problem solved!

Interesting story out of the NYC this week.

Apparently, my Husband-in-my-head, Anderson "Randy Andy" Cooper, came home to find a drunk emptying his bladder all over the front door of Andy's building.
Andy was incensed by the smell of hot urine on mahogany and instantly called the police.
No, wait. He Tweeted about it first:
Just got home, found drunk guy peeing on my bldg front door. He asked for my pic. Instead I took his. Am tempted to tweet it out. Annoying!about 10 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Now, to be fair, I wasn't just peeing on his door.
i was marking my territory.
So, follow Andy on Twitter and let me know if he Tweets my pic. I hope Little Bob and I look good!

In this whole Charlie Sheen mess, who do I feel most sorry for?
Denise Richards? Nah, she's making millions off Crazy in child support and media attention.
Brooke Mueller, who ALLEGEDLY survived a Charlie Sheen knife attack?
Or maybe it's his kids. Not so much the ones with Denise, and not so much the one he had with some model way back when. But the twins he had with Mueller.
I mean, they're just babies and their Daddy has gone off the deep-end.
And now, so has Mommy.

It seems that Charlie's latest estranged wife, and mother to his twins, Brooke Mueller, has once again gone all Lohan and checked into rehab for another try.
Mueller entered rehab after a week of ALLEGED drug binging, followed by her refusal to submit to a drug test even though it was required under the terms of her custody settlement with Sheen.
Wow, lovely parents who need to have weekly drug tests.
Mueller's representatives--and by representative, I mean, of course, dealers--say the 33-year-old has ALLEGEDLY re-entered rehab as a precautionary step should Sheen's lawyers bring up the drug test issue in court.
Wow, nice spin. You check into rehab in case someone brings up the fact that you're a serial drug abuser?
This is Mueller's second stab at rehab. She had previously rehabbed for ALLEGED drug and alcohol abuse issues in 2010. And just last week, she was caught on camera last week trying to pawn a pricey watch and stereo equipment in an attempt to get some quick cash.
Quick cash for what, honey?
Well, as some of her 'friends' ALLEGE, Brooke is only using drugs again because of ALLEGED calls asking for clean urine and recent cash concerns.
So, she's using drugs because she's afraid of being drug tested?
Or she's using drugs, costly drugs, because she's worried about money?
Brooke Mueller receives $55,000 a month from Charlie Sheen.
Like I said, these two losers can have each other, but someone needs to take care of those kids. Maybe a nice gay couple?

Not so fast, I guess.

Charlie Sheen's lawyer--and, sheesh, that guy must be on speed dial--will ALLEGEDLY ask a judge to grant both legal and physical custody of the boys to Sheen because of Brooke's drug relapse.
Of course, it also occurs to Sheen that if he gets custody of his boys he wouldn't be shelling out 55K a month. And think how many hookers he could buy, especially now that he's out of a job.
And Charlie Sheen has found an unlikely ally during this new drama with Mueller: his ex-wife, mother to two of his other children, and ginormous media whore, Denise Richards. According to rumors, Richards ALLEGEDLY heard about Mueller's bizarre behavior and rehab stint and offered to help until the situation settled down.
Denise then ALLEGEDLY called Sheen and offered to take care of the twins and let them live with her while Sheen was on the road with his 'Torpedo of Truth' tour. He reportedly told her he'd "keep her posted" on the situation.
I wonder if Denise also then asked for the 55K, too.
See, it is all about the money, not about those two boys and their drug-addicted parents.

This is funny.

M. Night Shyamalan, director of 1999's Oscar-nominated, 'The Sixth Sense,' was poised to be the Next Big Thing, the New Spielberg. He had no idea it would all be downhill from there.
Cut to 2010, where Night's latest movie, 'The Last Airbender', swept the film awards at a recent show. Only, it wasn't Oscar, or Golden Globe, or even BAFTA. He won all sorts of Razzies for his latest flop. Can it get any worse?
Oh, but it can.
Three movie fans are trying to raise $150,000 to send M. Night Shyamalan back to film school. It seems one of the fans--and I use that term loosely--came up with the idea after seeing a preview for a movie called 'Devil'. When the words "from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" came up on-screen, the audience howled and an idea was born.
Baker was joined by two friends, one of whom developed the idea of "M. Night School" as a name for the website. When news broke that Shyamalan was daring to make yet another disaster--'1000 A.E.' starring 'Karate Kid' Jaden Smith and his dad, Will Smith--the trio went live with their campaign.
So far, the boys have raised just $520.
But, if you love movies, and realize that Shyamalan needs a little re-education in the art of filmmaking, please give....give til it hurts.
A man's career hangs in the balance.

As Lindsay Lohan awaits trial on a felony theft charge, she has something positive to look forward to in the near future: two possible movie deals. One, is a documentary called 'Prison Laundry' while the other is a cinema vérité piece called 'Drug Addict Jewel Thief'.
I kid.

Kind of. It seems that Hollywood producer Marc Fiore has Lohan in mind for, not one, but two, upcoming movies, one of which is the much-rumored 'Gotti' biopic: "I want Lindsay to be in 'Gotti' and another movie that I'm producing. She's a great, great actress."
I did not make up that last line. Seriously.I.Did.Not.
To her credit, Lohan, desperate to be seen as more of an actress than a criminal, is quite interested in the role of Victoria Gotti. In fact, she even showed up unannounced and uninvited to stand next to Victoria Gotti at a press event.
Balls.Of.Steel.
Fiore also hopes to see Lohan in is 'Mob Street,' a Wall Street-centered mafia flick written by Chazz Palminteri.
Funny. All these movies, and Lindsay would be playing criminals, or relatives of criminals. Who says art doesn't imitate life?

But not anymore. It looks like there's one contract that even the Gotti family won't take out.

Lindsay Lohan is no longer up for the role of Victoria Gotti, daughter of legendary mob boss John Gotti, in the upcoming film 'Gotti: Three Generations.'
After trumpeting Lindsay as the most talented actress ever and saying he wanted to work with her over and over again, producer Mark Fiore now says: "We are not talking any further about Lindsay playing Victoria. She is no longer being considered. The talks have stopped. We are going to meet with other people."
Ouch. Dina must be rolling over in her grave.
Cuz she's like a vampire, I mean.
It seems only days ago that Lohan showed up unwelcome and unwanted at a press conference with Victoria Gotti and John Travolta. And it was only days ago that both Gotti and Miss Travolta sang the actress's praises, with Gotti saying: "I think she's doing great; I think she's going to continue to do great and she's got a lot of people rooting for her."
Those people rooting for her are all the people to whom she owes money.
Travolta added, "I've always thought [Lohan] was gorgeous and talented and filled with a lot of depth. So, I think that whatever she would like to do would be great with me."
What she'd like to do to Travolta is befriend him and then break into his house and steal all the costumes he wore as Big Edna in 'Hairspray'.
 Just sayin'.

How do you follow up being a media whore on a reality TV show, scamming your way into the White House, trying out for a rehab show only to be let go because you aren't addicted to anything other than fame and then finding out that your first reality show has been canceled?

What's a fame-hungry girl like Michaele Salahi to do? Pose for Playboy, of course. Because the world wants to see her rib cage and fake tatas. Only, even Playboy has standards.
Salahi, the now canceled fame-whore of the 'Real Housewives of DC' star, and self-described former model--I giggle at that--recently shot a series of sexy pictures and sent them to Playboy along with a letter begging to be in the magazine.
Hef.Said.No.
A source close to the magazine--and by source I mean the guy that strategically places the bunny logo onto every Playboy cover--says that Michaele was informed via email: "There is no opportunity this calendar year to offer you a cover opportunity or place for your pictorial."
They added: "So here are your skanky pictures back and we'll be sending you the bill from out opthalmologist who treated our eyes for severe retina burns after viewing your picture."
Not to be out-done in the media-whore-ness department, Michaele's chubby asshat hubby Tareq also sent nudie pics of himself to Playgirl.
They're still dealing with the stench of a group vomit over there.

We all know that Justin Timberlake lost his beard.
He broke up with Jessica Biel.
Now, there are reports that JT is ALLEGEDLY losing his hair.

Timberlake, who used to rock the curls, has now taken to wearing his hair closely cropped; and by closely cropped, I mean scalp-length.
A friend--and by friend I mean a bartender at the Ramrod--says Timberlake is mortified by his thinning hair and that is the reason for his very close haircuts: "He's keeping his hair super-short so no one notices."
Oh, honey, we noticed.
Timberlake's "friend" adds: "He's using specially formulated shampoo to promote hair growth. He certainly doesn't want to go bald!"
Oh, butcha'are Blanche, butcha'are goin' bald.
But, at least he's working on the beard loss. He has ALLEGEDLY been trying to hook-up with his 'Friends with Benefits' co-star Mila Kunis, but she refused his advances, saying, "Ewwwwwww." And he has also been seen with 'Tron: Legacy' star Olivia Wilde, who, through a friend, said, "Ewwww."
Just sayin'.

This story warms my cold, tiny, pus-filled, stone-like heart.

A group of people, ALLEGEDLY paid by Gwyneth Paltrow to be The Friends Of Gwyneth Paltrow, showed up at a dinner party to collect a paycheck and "celebrate" the actress-singer-blogger-maniacal-egotist's cookbook, 'My Father's Daughter.'
Employees of Paltrow, like Jay-Z, Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez and Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld all told stories of how Gwynnie is not like the rest of us. She's better.
But one person, ALLEGEDLY not on the payroll, showed up, and wasn't that impressed by Missy P and all her holier-than-thou-ness. And that someone was none-other than Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin. Martin ALLEGEDLY arrived cranky and his publicist warned, "he doesn't want to talk."

A party filled with people paid to praise his wife and Chris doesn't want to talk? I think I love him. But it is a little odd when your own hubby doesn't want to talk at a party promoting you, isn't it?
Luckily, the other employees loved talking Gwyneth.
Jessica Seinfeld, obviously angling for a substantial year-end bonus, ALLEGEDLY told the crowd how lucky they were to be invited: "You are all so lucky to be part of Gwyneth's world. Because this is the real deal. And she's invited all of you good people in here. I would never do that."
Then supermodel Christy Turlington reveled in how Gwyneth is a whiz when it comes to killing lobsters--and by lobsters, I, of course, mean employees who don't follow protocol: "It's not the boiling-in-the-pot-and-screaming lobster thing. It's a different, faster approach. You stick a knife through the head."
Sounds like a Gwynnie mob hit.
Even Michael Stipe played dutiful paid guest: "Once, a duck she was cooking caught fire, and she threw it in the pool."
Along with a party goer who looked hotter than Gwyneth, and another guest who didn't bow and scrape properly.
Still, amidst all this paid advertisement, and praise for All Things Paltrow, her husband, smart man that he is, hovered in a corner, sipping a Ketel One and Tonic and plotting his escape from Paltrow World.
Godspeed Chris. Godspeed.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Jersey Shore star[?] Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was charged Wednesday with annoying people on the beach.
What about annoying people through the TV?
Plus, she was subsequently fined for ALLEGING that her name was Snooki. Seriously, she's an almost grown woman. Snooki?
This new charge stems from her late July arrest--isn't she a peach--in Seaside Heights, a New Jersey beach town. The faux-reality celebutard is also facing charges of disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance.
And for calling herself Snooki.
Snooki's mouthpiece, one Raymond Raya, entered a not guilty plea for all three charges. If convicted, she'll face up to $2,000 in fines. Oops, there goes tanning bed and bad hair-do time.
The little twit says the arrest was a wake-up call of sorts, because she embarrassed her family: "My dad was very, very pissed. He's like, 'I didn't raise you like this.' I just felt really bad, so I'm definitely going to stop drinking during the daytime."
How proud he must be hearing you announce that you'll end your daytime booze-fests.


Real Housewives of New Jersey star[?] Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe owe creditors nearly $11 million in various debts, and have filed for bankruptcy.
But whose fault is it? That $11 million debt?
Teresa, she's the dumb one[?], blames her fame for why she's
bankrupt.
"If she wasn't on the show, this all would be much easier," a friend--and by friend I mean dumbass neighbor--says. "Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family. It's honestly got to the point where she's not sure if she wants to come back for another season."
Oh, she'll be back. She needs to money and the fame-whoring exposure.
See, just a few days ago, new evidence proved the Teresa and her whipped husband Joe spent $60,000 on furnishing, after they filed for bankruptcy.
Teresa and Joe bought $8,800 curtains and spent $45,000 on wall hangings, mirrors, frames, tables and chairs, while trying to convince a Newark federal bankruptcy judge to stop the August 22 auction of their personal belongings.
"Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business," an insider--and by insider, I mean, someone who sold Teresa $8,000 drapes--says, "She didn't sign up to be on 'Housewives' so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It's just not fair."
Yeah, but while going through bankruptcy most couples aren't out spending more money.
Yeah, I blame Bravo, too.

Well, it seems going to jail and rehab pays more than starring in movies.
Drug addict, and convicted criminal, Lindsay Lohan is expected to make $1 million for her first interview as a free woman with OK Magazine!
And I imagine it will go up her nose faster than you can say, Lindsay stop!
Still, some folks are hoping that this will be the wale-up call that Lohan needs to get her life in order and stop being such a fuckup and a drain on society.
And then there's this bit of good news.
She will not be punished for, ahem, stealing her friends Rolex.
Before Lohan disappeared into prison and rehab, she was accused of stealing a $35,000 watch from a friend's apartment. The owner of the watch claimed to have photographic evidence that proved Lindsay was wearing the timepiece that she never returned.
But then, oddly enough, this week, after news came of Lohan's million dollar payday from Okay Magazine! the charges miraculously vanished.
As did a small chunk of that cool million.

A judge in Illinois has dismissed a lawsuit against against Gabrielle Union that was brought by Siohvaughn Wade, ex-wife to Union's current man, Dwayne Wade. Siohvaughn had accused Gabrielle Union of engaging in "sexual foreplay" in front of her kids with Dwayne, leaving the tiny tots "psychologically damaged."
Wow, watching Daddy get busy with the mistress? Yeah, that's not good.
But Gabrielle and her team have denied the accusations from the beginning, calling the suit a "waste of time" and claiming the matter was something that didn't "belong in the Illinois Court System."
Apparently, the judge agreed and the suit went bye-bye.
Mistresses and whores, take note.

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been on her deathbed for weeks, though now, thankfully, she is reportedly back home and getting better. And there are reports that Zsa Zsa and her daughter, Francesca Hilton, who have long been estranged, may have reunited.
But that happy occasion didn't stop Zsa Zsa's husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, from renewing a 2005 lawsuit alleging Francesca stole millions of dollars from Gabor.
"People come out of the woodwork, like vultures waiting for her to die, so they can take her money, but I will not let that happen," von Anhalt, who is Gabor's ninth husband and would like all of what's left of Zsa Zsa's money to be his.
Years back, Zsa Zsa accused her daughter of "conspiring with others to fraudulently take out a $3.75 million loan on her home and of then taking $2 million of it to buy herself a house," Francesca Hilton, daughter of hotelier Conrad Hilton and great aunt of Paris Hilton, says she was wrongfully accused of all charges and countersued for damages. The case was tossed when Zsa Zsa failed to appear in court.
Von Anhalt says he dropped the lawsuit in 2007 due to Gabor's declining health, but now, as she is ALLEGEDLY near death, he's back in court. Yeah, when the wife's ill you drop the case, when the wife is dying, you sue again.

The folks at PETA will probably burn him in effigy.
Aging rocker, hasbeen, and big-time hunter, Ted Nugent was fined $1,750 after pleading no contest to charges of using illegal methods to kill a young dear on his reality show, Spirit of The Wild.
While taping his show, Ted was caught baiting and killing a spike buck with a bow and arrow, which, according to the California Department of Fish and Game is illegal considering the size of the animal.
Bambi is much too small to kill, by hunting.
Although I think Nugent cares more about the $1750 than he does about the life of a small animal.

Larry Birkhead, former boytoy, and ALLEGED homosexual, of Anna Nicole Smith, and father of their little bank account, er, girl, has testified in the case against Howard K. Stern and two doctors who are accused of unlawfully plying Smith with prescription drugs.
Birkhead revealed on the stand that he witnessed Smith take many medications during their relationship, though she always claimed she wasn't an addict.
"She would say, 'I'm in pain. I'm not a drug addict,'" Birkhead said. And when he asked if she was taking too many medications, she said, "I have a high tolerance because I'm in pain."
Birkhead said when they lived together, he saw Methadone, Topamax, Vicadin, Ambien, Valium, Chlonopin and other drugs around Smith's home. He also that he was so concerned about the number of drugs she was taking, that he at one point, he hid her Methadone.
But he doesn't, or didn't, think she was an addict?
Oh Larry, you're an asshat.

And on the Mel Gibson front:
Oksana Girigorieva’s lawyers intend to subpoena Gibson’s ex-wife, Robyn Moore Gibson, in order to question her about her claims that Mel Gibson was not physically abusive during their recently-ended marriage of 28 years.
It seems the lawyers want to question the ex-Missus Alcoholic-Homophobe-Anti-Semite-Batterer because Melvin once admitted to Oksana that he threw a TV at his former wife.
Oksana also says she once saw Mel hitting his youngest son, Tommy.
It's gonna be tough, though, because Robyn has already told the judge that "Mel never engaged in any physical abuse of any kind toward me before, during, or after our marriage."
Uh, huh. Oksana, and I, thinks otherwise.
Mel should have taken a page from Elvis' TV book: shoot out the set, don't hurl it at anyone.

Saturday Night Live's Fred Armisen filed for divorce this week from his wife of ten months.
Armisen is now ALLEGEDLY dating SNL costar Abby Elliott, who is roughly half his age.
This news comes just days after Armisen split from his wife, Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss, after less than a year of holy heterosexual traditional marriage.
A source--and by source, I mean the guy that holds the lights when they're filming SNL--says: "After the split, Fred sought comfort in Abby. They just started dating a few months ago."
Um, Fred, wasn't May, when you split from your wife, just a few months ago?
Yeah, glad the heteros can have marriage.