Oscar Fashion ... From Teyana to Timothée

Okay, so here are my thoughts ... my thoughts ... on the Hots and Nots and Just Plain Awfuls at the Oscars.

What did you think?

VERY BEST

Teyana Taylor is what looked like fur but turned out to be feathers or fringe. No one else looked quite as regal or edgy or fun.

BEST  

clockwise from top left

Ava DuVernay took wing in this glamourous gown in midnight blue. Those shoulder wings looked like she was about to take flight.

Nicole Kidman in pale pink feathers and jewels looked the very essence of Pretty in Pink. The feathered peplum and the feathered fringe fluttered as she walked, or glided, down the

Wunmi Mosaku was nine months pregnant at the Oscars and she glowed in this green jeweled dress; pure elegance.

Rose Byrne brought the class to the carpet in this simple flowered gown with minimal jewelry and a simple hair style; as any Oscar nominee should.

GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Amy Madigan looked fun and playful in this fringed jacket and she had every right; her last Oscar nomination was forty years ago!

Audry Nuna looked regal in this gold-plated, full skirted dress; she played almost evil looking and rocked it.

Emma Stone always looks really good, if not sometimes very simple; this is a classy, elegant look without all the bells and whistles of some other women.

Kathy Bates proved you can be a woman of a certain age and look utterly gorgeous; from the hair to the neckline to the jeweled bodice and the full skirt she was a queen.

Renate Reinsve is Simply Red; at first I was annoyed because I was getting red sheet wrapped around the body, but the more I saw it, I loved the simplicity in the sea of ball gowns and feathers and sequins.

Jessie Buckley floated down the carpet and up the stairs to collect her Oscar; I loved the red banded top and the flowing pink skirt.

Demi Moore is the yin to Nicole’s yang; I loved the feathers but hated the feathers nearly covered her recently constructed 2026 face.

Chase Infiniti is someone I don’t know but I love the lilac ruffles falling from her side. I like her hair, but maybe something different for this dress.

MEH 

clockwise from top left

Anne Hathaway looks like she was pulling a Rose Byrne dress but on sale; too many flowers cheap and the look and the black gloves? Seriously.

Bella Thorne was giving 60’s Ann-Margaret—Google her kids—but the gown looked old on her; she should have gone more youthful and fun.

GOOP in a stiff column dress to match her stiff face; I have never seen a more dour look at the Oscars, especially in white.

Melissa McCarthy has been looking fabulous lately and this sequined number did the trick; but then why wear a long-sleeved black T underneath it?

Priyanka Chopra-Jonas is a mess; the bodice seemed ill-fitting and kind of lumpy and the skirt looks like it belongs to another dress. But the black shoes? Oh Hell No.

Ginnifer Goodwin gives me grieving widow in the dress combined with Let’s ride the slide childishness of the hair. Mismatch.

Felicity Jones got swallowed up in this yellow mess; it gives her now shape and there seemed to be far too many embellishments and  flounces and ruffles.

Ejae is someone I don’t know and I liked this dress at first, but when I saw this picture the sash around her waist made it appear as if she was wearing a white knee-length slip underneath it and now I cannot unsee it.

BAD 

clockwise from top left

Barbie Ferreira in a ball gown. A.Ball.Gown. I thought they were over, especially in that 80s blue, and yet what made it even worse was, as she posed on the carpet she kept bending over to display The Girls. Nope, we don’t do that here.

Elle Fanning in a ball gown too, though she always wears the Cinderella fantasy look and it’s getting old and so is Elle, Bring some edge, girl  before you’re the seventy-year-old actress in Disney Princess drag.

Sigourney Weaver should take notes from Kathy Bates; women of a certain age don’t need to be completely covered up in sequined sofa fabrics unless she’s making a play for JD Vance?

Kristin Wiig is either way too avant-garde or way too simple, or way too drab. Drab won this year with a tank top and a floor-length hostess skirt.

WTF... Pick Your Worst 

clockwise from top left

Auli’i Cravalho looks like her breasts are cannons and she’s ready to go to Iran and fight; plus the skirt seems extra full in the front.

Chloe Zhao is the Angel of Doom; how else do you explain this mess.

Isabel Zuaa took last year’s trend of having shoulder straps slightly above the shoulders and raised it by about a foot; it’s like she’s the Incredible Shrinking woman in the dress.

Odessa A'zion does her own styling; ‘nuff said about that. I will give her props for having a voice but maybe she shouldn’t always listen to it.

Misty Copeland is one of the most beautiful women in the world, and yet this dress with the over-sized almost Talking Heads looking black bolero jacket with ruffles is senseless. Maybe, as a retired ballet dancer she missed the tutu?

MEN

VERY BEST

Michael B. Jordan could show up in sweats and ratty t-shirt still look fabulous but he chose this sleek and modern take on a tuxedo that closed at the neck. I love the buttons and the chain detail and  I could eat him with a spoon.

VERY GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Shaboozy; I just wanna sit next to him and watch him smile. And smile he did in this modern take of an older tuxedo look. The white tie and the hint of white in the shoe and the jewelry sealed the deal!

Jeremy Pope chose the modern white double-breasted tuxedo jacket with a black shirt coiled around his neck; he looked just p[lain cool and hot.

Ryan Coogler chose a simple black tuxedo with a white bow tie and the perfect sleek pocket square. He looked regal and handsome.

Adrien Brody; I have always crushed on Adrien Brody and he served it up at the Oscars in this all-black tuxedo with a jeweled pocket square of his own; tall and dreamy.

GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Chase Stokes looked luscious in a velvet jacket with no tie and sleek black pants. Grrrrrr.

Lewis Pullman kinda went safe in a simple man’s suit and tie but he pulled it off; effortless.

Miles Caton played the color drenched card and wore the same color from head to toe; it was elegant and classy.

Pedro Pascale was hot without the weather in this crisp white shirt with ruffled sleeves and a floral detail above the pocket. Few men could this off but Pedro isn’t like other men, he’s got edge.

Joe Alwyn looked simple and elegant in a black tuxedo but the tie was a nice choice; not a bow-tie or a necktie but a simple blousy tie.

Kieran Culkin is classic yet modern in a burgundy jacket over black shirt and tie and pants; like many of the men, he bejeweled the lapel for some pizzazz.

MEH 

clockwise from top left

Damson Idris looks good, and hot and new, but the jacket just seems too long and too heavy for a hot night; he gets props, though, for designing his own jewelry and lapel pin.

Felix Kammerer is a little too casual for the Oscars. I like the color but the rolled-up sleeves are too retro not cool retro.

Paul Mescal; goddess I adore him, but he seems to be wearing an outfit similar to Joe Alwyn’s but it seems ill-fitting and uncomfortable. But Paul gets a pass because he’s Paul.

Wagner Moura was one of the Hot Men at the Oscars but that white buttoned up shirt with no tie looked like he forgot to finish dressing. An all-black look would have been much better.

Jacob Elordi gets points for being a tall drink or water and rocking a porn stache, but his look seems old school, emphasis on the old and I cannot forgive his shoes.

Hudson Mills—one of the stars of Heated Rivalry—looks nice enough though he’s got a smug face and that takes points off, but what really annoyed me was that he was trying to sell the accessories; he held his arm at his waist to show off the watch. This isn’t Home Shopping, Hudson.

WTF 

left to right

Kevin O’Leary—I do not know him—but he looked like a professional wrestler who showed up at the wrong event.

Spike Lee. First off, the look isn’t bad except for the big purse but the way he’s standing looks like he either has to go to the bathroom or just did.

WORST

Timothée Chalamet. Where to begin … his smug little scamp attitude, the all-white milk man look that screams Garanimals For Tiny Actors; the stance; the sunglasses. It all makes it clear that Timothée thinks he’s It but he’s not.

Oscar Fashions: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and Timothee Chalamet

Here we are, another year, another Oscars, with a little pretty and a little ugly, and one that I will have to scrub from my brain to forget that I saw it, so let’s dive right in …

THE VERY BEST

Halle berry sometimes misses the mark and sometimes tries to hard, but damn, any women that looks this fabulous in a mirrored dress needs to be wearing a mirrored dress so she can see herself all the time.

VERY GOOD

Demi Moore; we all see the work done to her face, with her mouth taking on some weird upside down shape, but … in this dress I forgive her. She looks stunning in a simple silvery sequin number that gave her some curves she desperately needed—did she steal some butt pads from a drag queen. A wee quibble is that I wish she’d get rid of the Cher Hair … even Cher has putt hat away for most events.

Raye looks regal and sexy and so not pink and blush and nude and sweet; she’s out for a helluva night and even though she’s a wee lass, the dress is not swallowing her up;  brava.

Selena Gomez rarely smiles on the red carpet but she was the other night and it may have been this gorgeous gown; it’s va-va-va-voom and she worked it from the hair to the jewels to the shoes.

GOOD—clockwise

Ana de Armas; it’s simple and elegant, but the neck-piece ratcheted it up a notch and only the stringy hair knocked it down a peg.

Lisa is a singer I’ve never heard of, and while this look may seem wrong to some, I love the edge, and the idea of a very oversized coat over a very oversized shirt and pants; very rock-n-roll.

Michelle Yeoh always brings some Old Hollywood glam, and I like that as much as I liked Lisa’s edge. Michelle is chic and cool and colorful.

Brandi Carlile in a suit; but not  a boring suit, a suit with dots and a red sash. I kinda wish the pants were a bit more straight legged to g ive them an edge , but Brandi always does Brandi and no one does it better.

Zoe Saldaña; some of you might not like this, but it’s giving me modern Victorian Grecian goddess; the hair could’a used some work and the gloves are a No, but she brought a new silhouette to the Oscars and she gets props for it not being silver or blush or nude …

Cynthia Erivo is here because she has style and she takes risks and she loves some fashion; I like the dress and it’s deep green nod to Wicked but it kind of swallows her up.

NICE … I HATE NICE

Elle Fanning has made it her mission to wear the cute, sweet, pinky, flowy princess dresses to very single awards show but I bet she would kill the carpet in something dark and moody and evil slutty. Do you hear me, Elle?

Emma Stone. I love the new short hair, and I love her attitude, but with her pale skin and the color of this dress it’s all kind of a one-note gown; pretty but nice and who wants to be nice.

FROM MEH to VERY GOOD

Ariana Grande on the carpet looked ridiculous; I am over her in the cutie pie fluffy, gauzy ball gown-y flesh toned concoctions; plus, how in the hell is she gonna sit down in that thing? 

But then, the bitch shows up onstage to sing wearing a gorgeous blood red sequin-and-tolle gown with some mothertucking ruby slippers! 

That’s the dress, Ari; take note.

MEH—clockwise

Lily-Rose Depp; I get it, Nosferatu, but did she have to create this gauzy, shreddy hooker-ish mess with an ice skating top and salon girl bottom; and do not get me started on that pose.

Lupita Nyong’o usually looks so good and fashionable and chic and also edgy and here she looks like the last girls picked to be a bridesmaid. It bores me.

Margaret Qualley looks dull; I mean, between the boring nothing dress and that up-do on her head, I’m just walking past her.

Mikey Madison is lucky she won an Oscar or else people might remember her for this boring number; she’s a young girl who looks like she raided her Nana’s closet. It looks Good and Plenty and yet it reads like Meh and Less.

Scarlett Johansson is another actress far too young to be looking so matronly. Did her career die and she’s off to the funeral?

Meg Ryan crawled out of the substance to make an appearance and while I like a red velvet gown as much as I like red velvet cake, what’s with the clod-hoppers on her feet. Is this her mucking out the stalls drag?

Connie Nielsen is another one who plays up the dress and then forgets what's on her head. The dress is nice, though the nude illusion, pink blush colors are over for me, but I cannot forgive the hair. Why!!!!!

Isabella Rossellini is a gorgeous women who was swallowed up in her salute to David Lynch and Blue Velvet. Yes, she’s of an older generation but she doesn’t have to wear Grannies drapes.

Felicity Jones in a column of silver. It’s pretty but she could hardly walk and it was giving me Tin Man vibes … and she wasn’t in Wicked!!!

Fernanda Torres is another older actress but this mess doesn’t do her any favors. The peplum is too long and the sleeves, too. I kept thinking if she cut off the bottom of the skirt beneath the peplum  and shortened the sleeves it’d make a nice glitzy fun and flirty cocktail dress … but as an Oscar gown it’s not working.

BAD

Miley Cyrus is always trying to hard to look either chic or tough, designer or trash bag, and she fails on all counts. This all black number is a mess and then she threw on lace driving gloves? While you’re out buying yourself flowers, get yourself a stylist with tatse.

Mindy Kaling looks like Jiffy Pop; she ;looks like the piece of mfoil I take off of the turkey for the last half hour or so to let it brown. Look at Demi or Halle to see how silver is done because it’s not this Reynolds Wrap nightmare.

Penelope Cruz id a beautiful woman but she never quite gets it; the corset on the dress seems too long and covers her hips so she looks like she has none; and those two straggly bits at the bottom? Is the dress trying to escape?

Rita Wilson is an attractive woman and yet she always dresses like someone took the drapes down in the dining room and slapped them on her body in some sort of homage to a chiffon Mumu.

WORST

Whoopi Goldberg is looking good after losing some weight but this shiny number does her no favors; it doesn’t move and so the front lifts off the ground when she stands still and she looks ready to take off. The top part is gorgeous but the bottom part starts too low on her hips … sigh … she almost had it.

Goldie Hawn. That’s all.

WORST OF THE WORST

Jackie Weaver looks like an orderly at the Old Actors Home. All she needs is some sensible shoes with non-slip soles.

THE BEST MEN

Jeff Goldblum has his own quirky style and it’s always something. I love the untucked shirt and white jacket; I love the flower on his lapel,  and I love the colorful placket on the shirt. It’s whimsical and a bit wicked.

Colman Domingo always brings the fashion and this take on a tuxedo, in scarlet no less, with a wrap belt, says it all. And he never forgets the jewelry either.

Paul Tazewell shows he’s a costume designer and stylist with this look; it looks like a classic tuxedo, but then there’s a very wide cummerbund and the white silk scarf doubling as a tie with a jeweled accent. Yes sir, you worked it.

VERY GOOD

Andrew Garfield went casual, but it’s kind of 70s cool guy casual who might just toss his car keys into the fishbowl at the start of the after party if you get my meaning. Additional points for no black and looking long and lean and mean.

Joe Locke, an actor I’ve never heard of, took a sort of old school jacket and pants and set them on fire with a glittering vest and white tie … he just looks cool and I like a messy hairstyle, too.

Sterling K Brown went old school in the white jacket tuxedo and he always looks good; not fussy, but hot.

GOOD—clockwise

Kieran Culkin nails the all-black chic look, from the jacket and shirt all the way down to the shoes; add that in with his irreverence and sense of humor and he’s smoking hot.

Dave Bautista proves a big monster of a man—and I’d like to climb him—can dress chic and classy in a deep blue tuxedo with a hint of glitz on the lapel; take note, Dwayne Johnson.

Adrien Brody always revs my engine, even in a safe tuxedo; tall and lady with a sweet smile and the dash of glamour on the coat—no doubt thanks to his partner, the fabulous Georgina Chapman—he looks fabulous.

Jeremy Pope is sizzling sexy in a black silky suit with an Asian twist; where are my chopsticks?

John M Chu brought out a wee bit of the Wicked—he was the director—in his dark green velvet jacket with silk lapels; just a slight change in color and the look is fresh..

Jeremy Strong  in Obama Tan, with a riff on a tie and some cool shoes. He got the memo that the Tuxedo Barn is not the place to shop for your Oscar drag.

MEH

Edward Norton is a brilliant actor and needs a brilliant stylist who will tell him that his tuxedo may be from 2025 but it’s giving me 1965 Eddie and that’s not good.

Sean Evans is a social media personality on YouTube and he’s only here because, while I loathe the ordinary tuxedo, I have an affinity for a bald man and he fills the bill. Now, if he learned to dress better …

Guy Pearce could be another Jeff Goldblum, but he went for the boring basic bitch of a tuxedo look; he’s a very attractive man but I just want to ask him for another glass of wine from the bar.

Willem Dafoe. I like an all-black look—I’ve been known to rock an all-black look—but Dafoe is giving me shaggy dog who had his head out the car window on the way to the ceremony and it’s ruined everything.

WORST

Jerry O’Connell looks like he always looks … a slimy used car salesman woefully out of place. I  guess those Vegas casinos that offer the 49-cent dinners were one maître de short Sunday night.

Bowen Yang has great style but what self-respecting gay man would wear a flowered embroidered bolero jacket? Oh Bowen, honey … no, no,

Sebastian Stan is smoking hot, with a body like few other men, but this basic tuxedo does him no service especially when the shirt looks a little nicotine stained and the laundry couldn’t bleach it away; it just makes it all look drab.

VERY WORST

Timothee Chalamet  likes to be different but this Country Crock Butter Nutso thing is a miss by a mile. The color is hideous, though I guess if you were playing ‘Where is Timothee’ in the audience shots the other night, you’d appreciate it. I don’t. Sorry, Chalamet, I can’t believe it’s not better … and that’s no typo.

SOMETHING DIFFERENT

Omar Apollo, American singer-songwriter and actor; I’ve never heard of him but he gets props for going outside the box with the cool shoes, the all black suit, the checked scarf as tie and the jewelry on the lapel. But where he really wins me over is the additional of a mothertucking veil! Werk!

Bobservations

I don’t really have a Carlos story, though he is still planning a vacation for us at the end of January, in time for my birthday and to take the onus off Fuckuary, my least favorite month.

I have been trying to get details from him and he’s very good at secret keeping. I don’t know if we’re flying, boating, trainspotting, hiking or driving, going South or North or East or West, or what clothes to pack and for what occasions.

I’m starting to wonder if he’s gonna hire a driver and drop me off somewhere, in the middle of nowhere, and make me fight my way home.

Pray I make it …

This Tuxedo Says is from June 2020:

It’s hard remembering which day of the week it is, or even, sometimes, which month. Tuxedo feels your pain …

The Felon is claiming that all his plans, including his tax cuts for the richest Americans will be paid for by the tariffs.

Yes, he’s that stupid if he thinks we believe this, and MAGAts are even stupider because they are buying it.

Earlier this week I once again declared my lust for Stanley Tucci and bald men, but I need to make it clear: it’s not all bald men, especially ones who look like a lump of unmolded clay or a giant eraser head:

I didn’t have the time to do a fashion roundup for the Golden Globes so I will just give you my Best Look and my Worst Look:

My BFF Nikki Kidman rocking a 60’s hairdo and a sexy backless number wins hands down while Kerry Washington looks like she stole a cheap pink sheet from the No-Tell  Motel on Hollywood Blvd. and is doing the Walk of Shame is my Worst Dressed.

PS Kerry’s hair; oh, honey, no … no.

While Vice President Kamala Harris was swearing in the recently elected senators for their new terms, she greeted new Senator Ruben Gallego, his wife who was carrying their young daughter, and his son. Harris asked Gallego’s about how their day was going and the boy replied:

“I’m sorry you didn’t win.”

Harris hugged him and said:

“Oh, you know what, sweetheart? But you know what? Do you worry about it because there’s still so much work to do. We’re not defeated.You know what that word defeated means?”

Just think, we could have more of that instead of a race baiting traitor.

Nancy Mace’s hopes of banning transgender women from sharing a bathroom with her on Capitol Hill appear dashed for now after her proposed controversial bathroom ban was not included in the GOP’s House rules package unveiled this week—a surprise omission less than two months after Speaker Mike Johnson reportedly assured Mace it would be included.

Be gone, Nancy Mace, before someone drops a house on you.

Aaron Pierre is an English actor who trained at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art and has appeared in the period drama miniseries The Underground Railroad, Old and Mufasa but who cares about that: Would You Hit It? 

Oscar Fashion: Hits, Misses and The Rock

Here we are, another year, another Oscars, with a little pretty and a little ugly, and one that I will have to scrub from my brain to forget that I saw it, so let’s dive right in …

VERY BEST

Fan Bingbing. I know, I’m going to say later that I am over these giant dresses, but this one, with a dress of shimmering silver and a gorgeous green overcoat with sleeves that last forever, is stunningly beautiful.

BEST

Emily Blunt. These column dresses can look a little dull sometimes, especially in white, but the fit and the sleeves and the glitter give this life.

Florence Pugh in yet another big gown, but the black shorts underneath, and the massive platforms bring a bit of punk and edge to this look; extra props for the hair.

Janelle Monae in a color most people won’t like, but I love. I love the shock of color, the bare skin, the bustier top and the regal look on Janelle’s face proving she owns this, and you.

Jessica Chastain. Between the hair … perfection … and the fit … ooh la la … we have a gorgeous sexy, but classy dress. I love the black detail on the front that spills down the back. This is how that’s dine.

Marlee Matlin. I don’t know if she’s had work done, but her face is gorgeous, her hair is fabulous, and I love the idea of a bolero jacket over a skirt trimmed in ostrich feathers.

Sofia Carson. I don’t know; didn’t know she was an actress or a singer but man, is she one gorgeous woman in a gorgeous gown—though, again, where’s the color—and makeup and hair for days. She’s a princess with a little somethin’, somethin’ going on.

Nicole Kidman. Yes, she’s got flowers like Halle Berry, further down, but on this dress they don’t seem like an afterthought. Plus, with the simple tousled hair, and the slinkiness of the gown, Nicole is giving me Evil Queen and y’all know I love an Evil Queen … being one myself.

Angela Bassett is film royalty and nailed it with the regal purple gown for the gods. The hair, the face, the smile, t’s just gorgeous.

BETTER

Ana de Armas shimmered in mermaid dress tinged with a hint of blue. It kinda got washed out with the Oscars new champagne carpet, but it still stunned.

Cara Delivigne could have been swallowed up by this monster ballgown with a flower as big as The Rock's head, but she worked it to pieces.

Michelle Williams. This is how you do a sheer beaded overlay on a dress that doesn’t look like it was  last minute addition. My one quibble, I would have loved some color as the dress kind of washes her out.

Salma Hayek finally put away the granny gowns, with the ruffles and flourishes and gave us shocking orange tinsel and  sequined fringe. Mad props Salma.

GOOD

Halle Bailey in a ruffled tulle under-the-sea moment—she’s the live-action Little Mermaid—with hot pants underneath; it’s young and cool but would have looked cooler in a more modern, less fluffy silhouette.

Danai Gurira in what is really a slinky black ballgown, that keeps it simple and elegant up top, though a bit too full and ballsy on the bottom.

Halle Berry … that other Halle in crisp white with a waist high slit; I was bothered by the flowers, less is kinda more, but e=very time I look at it, it’s the slit that tries too hard to be sexy. That said, Halle looks gorgeous as ever.

Jamie Lee Curtis in a slinky high-necked, long-sleeved sequined dress that looks safe and simple and elegant. She's giving me new age Helen Mirren and y'all know how I feel about that Dame.

Monica Barbaro in another giant gown though this one lost some fabric up top and gave us side boob and flat boob. It just seems a little try hard.

Sigourney Weaver taking a little of the Jamie Lee Curtis effect with a less stern neckline.

MEH

Allison Williams. She’s no Fan Bingbing, and although the sequined dress is stunning, the addition of that enormous overcoat ... that can't even be captured in one photo ... and the shredded fabric at the hem is all too much.

Ariana Dubose. It’s a bit stiff, and I loathe the idea of a train just for the sake of a train. Plus, on E! they showed a dress Halle Berry wore years ago, by Versace the same designer as this one, in black and this looks the same. I mean, if you’re gonna reboot, reboot the original.

Ava Duvernay. I get it, she’s a director and possibly not a fashionista, but this really ages her with its tinfoil wrap and train.

Elizabeth Olsen. I love the dress, which is giving me 1920s fabulousness, but that sheer thing hanging down over it is just too much; the dress, which looked like oil, didn’t need any help.

Hong Chau. I love the color. I love the slightly Asian look; Hong Chau said she asked the designer to add the Mandarin collar. But that black hairy train is literally unforgiveable.

Sarah Polley. Cute. Not Oscar; more West Village Lesbian supper club server. I mean, she could have worn a suit that was more fitting to the occasion cuz this ain't that.

Jennifer Connelly in a black version of Emily Blunt’s column dress, but the lack of sleeves and that sequined lobster bib neck piece do it no good at all; it’s good, not better.

Kerry Condon. Nice color, but man is this dull even with the feather stacked onto a sad little train.

Michelle Yeoh. After a season of some fashion risks, wins and losses, like the black gown with the straw detail, on the front she wore to the SAG awards, Michelle busts out this white feathered wedding gown for Oscar? I had much higher expectations. It’s not Bad, it’s Meh.

Sandra Oh. Goddess I love her, and I love her for wearing color, but unless she’s standing still, hands on hips like this photo, she is swallowed up in fabric. Not a good look Sandy.

BAD

Andie MacDowell wearing designer Boring, and to steal a joke from this weekend’s SNL, it’s from the Kirkland Collection at CostCo.

Elizabeth Banks. It looks like a tornado swept through Hollywood and this is what landed on her. Plus, she looks pissed to be seen in it.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus looks like cheap couch fabric turned into a really boring gown,

Kate Hudson clearly thinks tin-foil and tulle an Oscar gown make, but what they really make is Jiffy Pop.

WORST

Andrea Riseborough is clearly trying to honor her grandmother by wearing Nana’s wedding gown to The Oscars when she should have saved it for a shopping excursion to Tractor Supply..

Zoe Saldana is one of the most beautiful women, but she ruined it with this tired milk maid negligee looking number.

Ashley Graham. Let’s see … floor length split cape? Check. Bikini top with wraparound straps? Got it. Sheer floor-length skirt over granny panties? Nailed it. Looking good at the Oscars? Missed it.

Mindy Kaling in a stiff, see-through, boned corset, bra topped, long-sleeved, stiff looking lump of blah. Of note, during the show, Kaling presented wearing the exact same dress n black and it looked 1000% better.

WTF

Eva Longoria. Eva Eva Eva, you could almost turn a gay man straight … I kid, that’s impossible … but she can’t even try in this mess; so much going on, pattern and plunge … sequins and rhinestones … sheerness and yet stiffness. Honey. No.

Rooney Mara in a literal sad sack. The hair, the face, the dress … sad.

THE MEN

WHITE HOT, WHITE NOT

Harry Shum twisted the tuxedo, gave it an asymmetrical lapel, lengthened it, and wrapped in a sash creating a kind of East meets West look that totally rocked it.

Paul Mescal. I am not a fan of a white tuxedo jacket, but his flourish with the sequined rose was nice and then he ruined it with the wide legged pants. I can’t with those. I can’t.

BASIC

Austin Butler. I can’t help it; he looks like he’s wasting away and I am so over his relentless I played Elvis and stayed in character for three years “story” and his basic bitch tuxedo. He's giving me starving drenched feral cat and I am so not having it.

Jay Ellis, actor, in a basic tuxedo, but the fit is perfect and he looks sleek and cool and hot.

Michael B. Jordan is the only man who can have a tuxedo tailored to show off his amazing physique and make a grown-assed man dream and … well, let’s leave it at dream.

John Cho took his basic tuxedo to another left, losing the bow tie, added some velvet, and what looks like maybe a vest and looks as sexy and hot as always.

A LITTLE MONOTONE, A LITTLE COLOR 

Danny Ramirez, in what might have been just a tuxedo, but he gave up the white shirt and bow time for a black button down and no tie. Sleek and sexy.

Idris Elba in a royal blue jacket wins; Idris always wins. And yeah, I know, he could have shown up in sweats and still looked hotter than most men.

Gabriel LaBelle brought out the burgundy velvet; he’s a cute little mop top nugget.

Alexander Dreymon is a slab of steaming hot beefcake in a classic tuxedo, but done in cool royal blue velvet.

DIFFERENT DRUMMERS 

Harvey Guillén decided to one up Harry and really worked a tuxedo with a floor-length embroidered coat that gave it flash and edge.

Questlove marches to the beat of his own fashion drummer and for that he gets props; but does he need to march in crocs? Oh.Hell.No.

Jonathan Majors is one hot man; he’s so hot I’d go see a boxing movie just for the scenes with his shirt off, but … really Jonathan? The short pants with your socks exposed? That ain’t a fashion risk, that’s a fashion felony.

Ram Charan also paid tribute to his culture in his choice of tuxedo that has edge and elegances and a hot man wearing it.

Lenny Kravitz brought the rock-and-roll, though I might have loved the shirt being more open and the pants a wee bit tight cuz I’m shallow like that.

Riz Ahmed; f Lenny brought the 70s rock, Rz gave us hints of 50s cool rock. He totally bailed on the tuxedo and gave us wide collar and way open shirt and I am here for it.

WTF

The Rock. I don’t wanna be rude but between the color of the jacket and his oddly shaped bald head he looks like an uncircumcised penis … and not in a good way. Go ahead now, unsee it.

That’s it from me. What did you think?