I Ain'tOne To Gossip But ....

Remember that cringeworthy moment at the Oscars a few years ago when totally-not-gay John Travolta introduced Idina Menzel as “Adele Dazeem”? Yeah, well, he’s at it again.

At this year’s MTV VMAs Travolta, along with totally-not-closeted Queen Latifah—do I sense a theme?—presented the Video Of The Year award to Taylor Swifty for You Need To Calm Down. And Travolta handed the statuette to a drag queen he thought was Swifty.

Perhaps he didn’t know who Swifty was, even though she opened the show … and when she won for her video, she gave Classic Swifty-Who-Me-Realness, and still Travolta picked a drag queen—Jade Jolie, from RuPaul’s Drag Race—as the real Taylor Swift.

But at least he got her name right.

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Methinks he doth protest too much.

Prince Andrew recently claimed in a second official statement that he knew Jeffrey Epstein and saw him once or twice a year, but that he never saw Epstein do anything inappropriate with underage girls.

Back in 2009, Paul Page, a former police officer who served in the Royal Protection Command [RPC] talked about Andy’s ALLEGED visitors at Buckingham Palace, and now, thanks to The Mirror,  his words are out there for everyone’s enjoyment … well except for Andy and his mum, The Queen.

Page made the ALLEGATIONS against Prince Andrew while on trial in ’09 for investment fraud; he was found guilty and given six years in jail. Page’s testimony about Andrew was locked up, but now it’s out there:

“It was not just the royalty protection officers who abused their position, members of the Royal Household also frequently did. The biggest culprit was Prince Andrew … [who] … would often have lady friends come to visit, including frequent visits by Ghislaine Maxwell, daughter of the disgraced late Robert Maxwell.”

Ghislaine Maxwell is the woman who ALLEGEDLY recruited women for Epstein’s sex trafficking ring, and Page says Maxwell made frequent palace calls and always brought young women with her. Page claims Ghislaine and the female guests never signed the Buckingham Palace gate book, and that members of the RPC would drive the secret female guests home.

Page’s  former RPC boss Dai Davies confirmed that members of the Royal family can bring in guests without checking them in, because it’s “their home.” Davies also confirmed that Prince was known to have many “glamorous good-looking young ladies,” but that he wasn’t aware any of them were underage.

To be fair, having random women show up at the palace probably isn’t anything new, but if they were brought to Andy by Ghislaine Maxwell, it doesn’t look good, eh?

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Lori Loughlin, the star of College Admissions Scam, went back to court this week with her College Admissions Scam designer husband, Mossimo Giannulli and if you saw her enter the courthouse, you’d know she thinks her goose is cooked.

The first time she appeared in court Loughlin was smiling and waving to “fans,” and may have even signed an autograph or bribery check, but this week, she was head down, eye contact avoiding and rushing into court.

Why? Well, Lori has ALLEGEDLY been Googling herself—and not in the fun way—and is a’scurred this won’t turn out well. But that’s what happens when you pay some hustler half-a-million dollars to make up fake credits, fake resumes, fake accomplishments, to get your two less-than-intelligent daughters into USC.

And even worse than waiting for a Google alert about yourself is the fact that Lori and Mossimo have seen their neighbors become just so busy they can’t come to the pool party, or return that cup of sugar, or be a character witness for them.

Prison might be a nice change.

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Well, Billy Bush … yes, that Billy Bush, the one who laughed as _____ talked about grabbing women “by the pussy” … has got a new gig.

Bush is set to host a revamped edition of Extra, now called ExtraExtra—who thinks of these names, they’re a genius?—and swears he will be better at this job than he was the last one.

Meaning that if a racist blob of orange goo jokes about grabbing women’s pussies, he won’t laugh.

Bitch, please, you will always be known as the man, the husband and father of daughters, who laughed about sexual assault. But, hey, at least you’re making coins again, right?

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Nothing funnier than a TV judge getting busted. Amirite, Judge Mathis?

It appears that a valet in Detroit has accused Mathis of being a cranky diva by shrieking at him and spitting at him because Mathis had to wait for his car like regular folk.

I hope the valet sues and Mathis goes before Judge Judy because she will hand him his ass in a hot minute!

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Oh, the Stewart-Goop Feud is heating up again, and I am living for it!

It seems that the Bloods and Crips of the lifestyle brand market—Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow—are at it again, and Martha has backup.

While on the season premiere of Barstool Sport’s The Corp podcast, Martha was asked by host Alex Rodriguez about her long-standing spat with Poop, er, Goop, and we learned that the beef is real, and still on-going. A-Rod asked Stewart about her businesses in the lifestyle, cooking and publishing markets, and then asked about Goop—because he’s banging JLo and he loves some tea—like this:

“How would you describe what Gwyneth Paltrow is doing today versus what Martha Stewart created years ago.”

And Martha, who has politely asked that Paltrow stick to acting … hehe “acting” … pulled an ‘I don’t know her’ moment about Gwynnie, saying:

“I don’t follow goop. Sometimes I look at products that she’s selling … I wish every young entrepreneur well and I hope that there are many, many, many different kinds of entrepreneurs … if they’re movie stars or hardworking women like I am, who are not movie stars… If they have a good idea, I want them to be able to succeed. So good luck, Gwyneth.”

If they are movie stars or hardworking women like I am.

Damn, Martha, you still got. Whoever said prison would soften you didn’t know what they were talking about.

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In the wake of the Is-Taylor-Swift-A-Drag-Queen  moment at the VMAs John Travolta is back on damage control for being a bona fide asshat.

Travolta was on Dallas-Fort Worth’s Hot 93.3, and when asked about the mess-up, he shrugged and made it sound like he didn’t mistake Jade for Taylor … except he did … and also said that no matter what he does … like totally f**king up Idina Menzel’s name, it makes headlines:

“There’s so many people that bombarded the stage, that I was looking for [Swift]. So, the video has me trying to find her, and you know, I thought it was so funny the way it was interpreted. And it’s cool, I didn’t care.”

But the point, ma’am, is that Swifty cared. You practically Kanye’d her again!

But the real gem of the interview is when he talked about other things he’s done that make news … and, no, he’s not talking about that lip-lock with his private pilot a few years ago; it’s this:

“If I shave my head, it’s headlines.”

Shave your head? Bitch, please, you took your rug off.

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It's Snarkurday!

After it was revealed that Matt Lauer was a creeper, and a creep—with a secret-button-under-the-desk to lock his door after women entered—his wife Annette Roque ended their marriage and kicked him out of their Hamptons’ home.

Annette attempted to file for divorce once before, back in 2006, but Matt charmed her gave her $5 million to stick around. But now Anette and Matt are once again in divorce negotiations, but $5 million just won’t do it this time.

Annette wants more … like she wants both of their family homes—a 40-acre farm in Water Mill, NY, and the manse in the Hamptons; she and Matt own a ranch in New Zealand which they are selling and splitting the profits. Annette also wants financial support for herself—not spousal support—but a one-time payout of $20 million, and then she won’t ask for child support for their three children, though Matt will still be responsible for half the education and health costs until each child is 21.

Who knew that marrying Matt Lauer would be like winning the lottery?

I’d have married him for two houses and $20 million.

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John Travolta lives in a world where it’s perfectly okay to fondle the crotch of your male massage therapist without permission … ALLEGEDLY … but last week, in Cannes to promote his next big flop, Gotti, Johnny was asked about the #MeToo movement and his answer was so incredibly ignorant and stupid and nonsensical that I thought maybe his toupee was too tight.

During a press event, a moderator spent most of the time gushing about Travolta’s career in movies—not his career in men’s locker rooms … ALLEGEDLY—but finally someone asked about #MeToo and the nearly 100 women protesting at Cannes about the underrepresentation of female filmmakers at the festival. Travolta said he hadn’t really heard much about #MeToo because, again, my guess, tiny tight toupee:

“I honestly don’t know a ton about it, because I try my best to keep people equal— men, women, races. My father was brilliant at it. He had a global viewpoint. I’m a citizen of the globe, and I’m a citizen of groups and people.”

You know you’ve had too much Scientology when …you don’t have a clue what’s going on in the real world but call yourself global.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt walked the red carpet of the Fox Upfronts last week—she’s taking over for the departing Connie Britton ion 9-1-1 next season—and then went on Instagram to apologize for something no one said about her.

After the event, Hewitt—who wishes she’s trademarked ‘JLo’ for herself—saw her photos online and was mortified and so she raced to film an Instagram live video to explain:

“We go to the Upfront yesterday and nobody tells me the day is going to be like 12 hours long and the humidity is going to be almost 100 percent in New York City. So, I just have to apologize. Wearing a black suit? Not a good idea. Not wearing enough hairspray and teasing in my hair? Also, a bad idea. I just have to apologize for how wrecked I look in all the pictures that have come out. I was literally melting ... My hair was flat, my makeup was running off my face and I looked like I had completely forgotten I was an actress in this business who is supposed to look [perfect] when you step on the red carpet. That is not what I’m going to look like on the show. I’m going to have makeup on my face. I’m not going to be sweating ... Honestly, I apologize. I should’ve really gotten it together!”

Honey? No one asked about your looks. They were too busy wondering why anyone would hire you for anything.

Apologize for that.

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After fathering five or so kids with two or so women, Hugh Grant has actually decided to marry one of his Baby Mama’s.

Hugh got engaged to his longtime girlfriend and mother to some of his kids, Anna Eberstein. Hugh and Anna have three kids: a two-year-old daughter, a five-year-old son, and a third kiddo who was born earlier this year that they aren’t talking about too much.

Hugh also has two kids with his ex, Tinglan Hong. 

Whether that means he’ll be changed enough to alter his outlook on monogamy remains to be seen. Back in 2016, Hugh had a mouthful to say about the subject of long-term relationships to Howard Stern:

“If you ask me the question, ‘Do I think human beings are meant to be in 40-year-long monogamous, faithful relationships?’ No, no. Whoever said they were?”

That’s one way to start a marriage with a woman who gave birth to three of your five children at the same time another woman was giving birth to the other two kids.

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Religion has always been the go-to for pop stars seeking to portray themselves as rebels; think Madonna during her entire career. Think Katy Perry trying to evict nuns from their home because she wanted it.

Now think Beyoncé who just snatched up a church in New Orleans for $850,000. To be fair, the 100-year-old, church has been out of commission since a lot of the members died, but still … Beyoncé … church?

Why? Oh, she thinks she’s some kind of a god … of auto-tune and weaves and oscillating fans. Or maybe she’s found another way to whore herself out for coins. See, recently, about 900 of her most devoted zombies began attending a church service in San Francisco called “Beyoncé Mass.”

And now Beyoncé bought a church in Nawlin’s? How long before she starts her own mass, and sells tickets to his and turns the alter into a concession stand?

If it ain’t making her money, Beyoncé ain’t doin’ it.

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Last weekend Janet Jackson won the Icon award at the Billboard Music Awards, and many members of the family were there to see her—after probably cashing a check from Miss Jackson.

Prince Michael was there; Mama Katherine, too. Even the non-singing one—except for that one unfortunate tune in the 80s—Rebbie Jackson was there. Not there; Paris Jackson. Was it because no one likes Paris?

Not according to her; the day after the show, Paris posted an Instagram story complaining that nobody had bothered to tell her about Aunt Janet’s big night:

“No one from my mgmt reached out to me about attending billboards or about the award, and no one from my family did either. I had absolutely no idea until y’all spammed with hatred.”

Hey Paris? The Jackson Five weren’t there … LaToya? Nope. Blanket? Unless he was laying under a seat he wasn’t there either, so it wasn’t just you … it’s most of your messy family who didn’t get the ticket, or a check.

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It's Snarkurday!

I guess since Wonder Woman apparently saved the Hollywood box office this year by being one of the biggest films of 2017, it should come as no surprise that WW star Gal Gadot is trying to save Hollywood from at least one sexual harasser: Brett Ratner.

It seems that Gadot has refused to sign on for the WW sequel unless Ratner is removed from the franchise. Gadot, who just last month backed out of a dinner honoring Ratner, is taking a strong stance on sexual harassment in Hollywood and doesn’t want her hit film, or any sequels, to benefit a man accused of sexual misconduct.

Ratner’s production company helped produce WW along with Warner Bros and since the film made some $400 million internationally, Ratner’s company made a healthy profit. A Warner Bros. insider explained:

“Brett made a lot of money from the success of Wonder Woman [and] Gadot is saying she won’t sign for the sequel unless Warner Bros. buys Brett out and gets rid of him.”

Gadot knows Warner Bros. will side with her since it would be hard to have a movie rooted in female empowerment being partially financed by a man accused of sexual misconduct against women, and so this past week, Warner Bros. announced was severing ties with Ratner.

Gadot was right about one thing: hit ‘em in the wallet because that’s where it really hurts.

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Speaking of sexual predators, there’s a new one:

Benny Medina, right, who manages both JLo and Will Smith, is accused of attempting to rape Sordid Lives actor Jason Dottley, left in 2008.

Dottley told The Advocate he met Benny Medina at an LA bar with fellow actor T. Ashanti Mozelle and then the three returned to Medina’s home. While Mozelle was in the pool, Dottley claims Medina gave him a tour of the house that ended up in his bedroom:

“We literally got to the door and he grabbed me by the chest of my shirt and threw me onto his bed [and] stuck his tongue down my mouth.”

Dottley, who is openly gay and was married to Queer As Folk writer Del Shores at the time, says he told Medina to stop by pointing out he was married, but the more he resisted, the more aggressive Medina became. Medina ALLEGEDLY forced Dottley, who begged him to stop, down onto the bed:

“His forearm was bearing down on my neck so hard that I don’t know how much longer I would have remained conscious.”

It ended when Mozelle burst in the room and told Medina to get off Dottley. Both men say Medina then grabbed Dottley by the shirt and shoved him toward the door saying:

“You two get the f**k out of here.”

Dottley also ALLEGES Medina further tormented him, texting when he saw him on the street with Shores:

“Is that the husband I have to have killed to have you?’”

Naturally, Benny Medina isn’t speaking.

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On to another ALLEGED creeper, one Mariah Carey, who recently fired her longtime manager Stella Bulochnikov. Was it a power play, or a passion play, because according to rumors it was none other than Mimi’s back-up-dancer-turned-boyfriend, the years younger, Bryan Tanaka, who got Stella axed because, not only did Tanaka want Stella gone, he also wanted her job.

A source—and it’s clearly Bryan Tanaka—says:

“Bryan is behind the whole split between Mariah and Stella. Bryan believes that he should be the one running Mariah’s day-to-day life, and he’s been orchestrating Stella’s exit for a long time. No one enjoys working with Stella. There’s no secret that some people are happy she’s out of the picture.”

It’s shades of Britney and Kevin, or, better still, Margo and Eve. And I think I’ve seen this film before, with Bette Davis … and we all know how that ended.

Poor Eve.

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Now another tale of sexual harassment in Hollywood only this really is nothing new ... It appears John Travolta isn’t always faithful to Kelly Preston … say whaaaaaat … and is accused … again … of putting the squeeze on yet another male massage therapist, this time in Palm Springs back in 2000.

Now, to be fair, accusation that Travolta gropes the groper, er, massage therapist, are as old as, well, John Travolta’s first rug, but this time there is a police report from the time that John Travolta’s “Olivia Pope”—Jonathan Krane—that seems to spill the tea.

In the report, the unnamed says that, while getting a body scrub treatment, Travolta ALLEGEDLY told the masseuse he was “very attractive” and that he’d gotten Little Johnny “very excited.” Travolta exposed his wee Johnny and then prattled on and on about all sorts of gay fantasies he’d like to share with the masseuse, and then told the man to join him in the steam room, dropped his towel and tried to grope the massage therapist.

The man was sickened—and who wouldn’t be—and tried to leave as Travolta kept making nasty comments like if he’d “ever had his a**hole licked buy another man” and “what would he do it he ever had a sexual encounter with another man” and, if so, “tell him what he would do, so [Travolta] could have something to fantasize about.”

That’s the story, but there’s a little more; Jonathan Krane’s old diaries detail how he told John to flee the hotel after the masseuse left:

“[I] persuaded the hotel it was in their best interest to get their employee to drop the criminal charges, and any civil claims, and to persuade the police not to investigate because it was just a misunderstanding.”

You know, how you grope a man while asking to lick his nether regions is always just a misunderstanding.

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In the STD Pool this week we have The Weeknd and Yovanna Ventura, a 21-year-old model from Miami. Yovanna was quite cozy The Weeknd at both French Montana’s birthday party last week and when they went out clubbing the following night. Now, that’s not bad really, except …

Yovanna used to date Justin Bieber who just got back together with Selena Gomez who just broke up with The Weeknd.

And now I have a rash … down there.

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Is ARod afraid of what JLo might do to BFra? Or to him?

See, last week Alex Rodriguez was shooting a commercial in an apartment across the hall from Bethenny ‘BFra’ Frankel’s home and ARod ALLEGEDLY hid to avoid talking to her.

Why? Oh, cuz ARod and BFra were an item for about a half minute last year and we all know how jealous JLo can be. And that’s clearly why, when Frankel appeared in the hallway on the way to her own home, ARod tried to “lunge for the apartment” where the shoot was set up.

ARod is whipped by JLo and is in fear of BFra, I’m guessing.

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The shocking things isn’t that Diana Ross lost her fanny pack while shopping and a good Samaritan turned it in; the shocking thing is that Diana Ross wears a fanny pack, followed by the more shocking news that she was shopping at Marshall’s.

Hey, Diva likes a discount, m’kay? And Ross Tweeted her gratitude to the nameless angel:

“Thank U to the Angel I lost my fanny pack in Marshall’s in LA on Olympic & someone turned it in. What a blessing. Again this morning I’m so grateful. I will ‘pay forward.”

No word on what a Diana Ross fanny pack might look like—feathers? Beads?—but I’ll end with Andy Cohen’s take on it:

“The only thing that would make this story better is knowing that Diana Ross shops at Marshall’s and Penny Marshall shops at Ross.”

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It's Snarkurday!

John Travolta and male masseurs; he just cannot shake the gossip that he loves being rubbed by, and rubbing on, male masseurs. And so why is that?

Well, maybe it’s his personal hotel rider that seems to keep the gossip alive because John Travolta will only be massaged by men, and John Travolta requires that hotel staff put aluminum foil and dark curtains to black out the windows, and john Travolta brings in his own sheets, and removes them when he goes, and John Travolta requires that whatever room he’ll be occupying be empty for a full day before he steps inside in order to avoid anyone else’s scent lingering behind.

Okay, well, I can get behind that scent thing because some folks just douse themselves with colognes and perfumes, but bringing his own sheets? Blacking out the windows? It’s like Johnny wants to protect and haul away the DNA evidence and keep anyone from watching him “do it.”

It appears that one Peter Sloane has boldly gone where no man has gone before … he’s suing William Shatner for $170 million because he says Captain Kirk is his Daddy, and he’d like Shatner to submit to a DNA test and cease claiming he isn’t Peter’s father.

Sloan claims that his birth mother, the late Canadian actress Kathy McNeil, had a brief affair with Shatner, gave birth to his son, then gave the child up for adoption when he was 5 days old. Shatner, naturally, denies Sloan is his son, and says it’s all about the money … and a boat-load of money it is.

But Slone won’t go away easily; he says he met Shatner back in his TJ Hooker days and that Shatner initially “admitted he was [Sloane’s] father.” But a week later, Sloan claims, he was contacted by Shatner’s people who said he would deny paternity and begged him not to go public because it “could be horrendous for [Shatner].”

Peter Sloane wasn’t deterred; he surprised Shatner at a meet-and-greet, he registered the Web domain petershatner.com and began a local CBS radio show under the name Peter Shatner; and that was when Shatner sent the lawyers after Peter who said:

“Bill ... confirmed to me once again that he is not your father. There have been many people over the years who have claimed to be his children … He is not interested in spending time discussing this issue with you.”

Then, Sloane ALLEGES, Shatner’s people shut down his Twitter feed and had IMDb Pro to take down a page about a movie he was working on. And so he wants, or needs, $170 million.

Beam me up some of that cash please.

Jeffrey Wenninger, a former security guard, claims, in a lawsuit no less, that while working for Elton John for twelve years, Elton repeatedly groped him.

In March 2014, Wenninger says that he was riding in a car with Elton when, he ALLEGES, the singer put his hands down Wenninger’s pants and “tried to force his fingers between [my] buttock cheeks.” He also says Elton tried to fondle his genitals “both over and under his clothing.” 

Then Elton said, “Get your todger out [and] say hello to Uncle Elton.”

Perhaps he was looking for Wenninger’s rocket, man?

A month after the incident in the car, Wenninger says Elton twisted his nipples while saying, “You have so many gay genes in you, they just haven’t met up yet.” And Wenninger says there were a lot more moments of groping and fondling by John before he decided to quit his job, though he never once reported any incidents of inappropriate behavior until now. Wenninger says he has suffered emotional, physical and mental pain and wants cash damages from Elton.

Elton John’s team has already hit back, calling Wenninger’s lawsuit as authentic as Elton’s “hair.” Ouch!

Columbus Short could’a been big. He was in the first season of Scandal but suddenly disappeared amid reports of a violet, knife-wielding past. Then he was in a bar fight in LA, sucker punched a guy and ran.

Well, it’s even messier. Columbus Short met Karrine Steffans last year while working on a movie together and two months later they were married. And now that marriage is apparently over because Columbus Short is an adulterer and Karrine Steffans ain’t playin’.

Karrine not only threw all of his sh*t out of their apartment, but she took pictures of the sh*t and posted them on Instagram, where she also started calling out his numerous mistresses. She even posted a picture of Short calmly sitting in the lobby of their building with all his sh*t scattered around, and then captioned it:

“Somebody come get @officialcshort cheating ass and all his sh-t. What about you @aida006…still want him? And @candicernb…you f–ked my husband…want him?” 

After that, she posted a video of the damage with the caption: “You okay @officialcshort?” with her voiceover: 

“Nobody has anything to say. Nobody has anything to f–ing say. You feeling OK, you feelin’ okay?”

Oh, Karrine, you went all Angela Bassett, Waiting To Exhale, on Columbus, but he had his own Tweets to spew:

“Just want to say....that it's unfortunate that way things end up. I felt truly that a woman gave me a home and a place to get my mind right …

“And a place to maturate gifts that I wasn't able to foster, without stability. I love Karin and her brilliantly talented son. But toxicity …

“Of any kind isn't healthy for anyone. I've been working hard to bring you guys quality movies, music and art. And that's exactly what will …

“Continue to happen. How could you not love a woman who took you in a broken place and allow you to heal. I'm thankful for the journey and …

“It ain't the first time I've been homeless. But will definitely be the last!! When it's all said and done stand strong stand tall and …

“Most of all UNBROKEN......If I'm still standing you have no excuse! #MoreThanConquerers.”

Lawdy, child, this man is delusional. I think Karrine might have dodged an actual bullet.

So, That Woman has been dating Corey Gamble for about a year and a half. He started out as a bodyguard-type — what, she thought she was Whitney — and then That Woman basically hired him to be her on-screen love interest and general “handler” to those kids.

And it’s apparently not a secret that Corey cashes a check to be That Woman’s man and babysitter. Because a source, and it might be the one Kardastrophe who doesn’t really have a job, says:

“Corey’s given a stipend [by That Woman] to help look after her kids and make sure they are OK when they go out. He’s essentially an employee.”

And true to Job Description, Gamble was spotted escorting the Kardashian girls — and not That Woman — to Hollywood eatery; he was also included in the family’s Easter Sunday celebrations but that’s just because he pledged his loyalty, in return for coins.

Hmmm, would That Woman pay a man to be her, um, date, and to watch her kids?

That’s a rhetorical question.

So, Vanity Fair recently published a story about the making of Kramer vs. Kramer — part of Michael Schulman’s upcoming biography about acting legend Meryl Streep titled Her Again: Becoming Meryl Streep.

And apparently Kramer vs. Kramer, which resulted in Meryl’s first of 10,000 Oscars was a nightmare, mostly due to Little Man Dustin … Hoffman, that is.

According to Schulman, Hoffman was so serious about his role in Kramer vs. Kramer that he even had their “pretend” apartment redesigned because he said his character wouldn’t live there. But then Hoffman took method acting to the Nth degree by actually slapping Meryl Streep on the second day of shooting so it would appear more real.

On the second day of shooting, as Hoffman’s character Ted follows his hysterical wife Joanna, Dustin slapped Meryl hard across the cheek, leaving a red mark. But Meryl The Legend took the slap, used it in the scene, and took home Oscar gold for it.

But Hoffman’s on-set assholery wasn’t limited to slaps; he also continually made fun and light of the fact that Meryl’s boyfriend at the time, John Cazale, had cancer and died right before filming started. He would taunt Meryl about Cazale, jabbing her with remarks about his cancer and his death and claims it was all so she could bring that anger to her performance. And he improvised a scene by smashing a wine glass on a table, sending shards of glass into Meryl’s face and hair.

Look, Little Man, Meryl Streep is a legend and she has more Oscar Gold than you have Oscar Mayer.

Hoffman should’ve been seeing a doctor about his LMS … Little Man Syndrome.

So Lamar Odom, fresh from the hospital after his drugs and whores weekend in Las Vegas, recently appeared with this wife — no divorce yet — Khloe Kardastrophe on the family’s annual Easter Sunday paparazzi stroll.

But he got himself liquored up first.

Do I blame him? Not really, I’d have to be totally sh*tfaced to appear in public with That Family, too.

And it probably helped to be three sheets to the wind in case the Kardastrophe’s spontaneously combust by going into a church.

Drunks can scramble …

Last week, Justin Bieber announced that he would no longer be doing meet-and-greets with his fans—fans, plural, giggle—after his concerts because he found them draining.

What? The meet-and-greets? Or the fans?

Anyway, it’s a Who Cares moment except that some fans have already paid for meet and greets … some paying $2000 to Meet The Twerp … so what to do, what to do …

Well, despite Justin’s cancelling the event, fans were unable to get refunds without also forfeiting their tickets to his show, and then those that did attend the show went backstage to have their picture taken with a cardboard cutout of Bieber.

Well, at least the conversation would have been more thrilling except … Bieber skipped the meet-and-greet with fans because it’s too hard but did make way for celebrities and their families, like Wayne Gretzky, his wife and their daughter, to meet him.

So, it’s not the meeting of the fans, it’s meeting regular people fans?